My Path Toward Self Discovery

When I was a kid and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would respond with: a model.

We are told to dream big, follow our heart and make our dreams come true. But then we grow up.

Generally in life, we become accustomed to shunning our goals and dreams because we are too afraid. But failure holds you back. We all know that by now.

Recently, I have been thinking about my childhood dreams and why I did not follow through with my dream of becoming a model. And I just realised that this one for me was just a fad.

Growing up, I was always the tallest in the room – that includes boys and even some of my teachers. I received unwanted attention due to my height in the form of uncomfortable comments and stares. That used to make me feel really insecure. And when I think about it now, I think I wanted to be a model because I thought it was going to make the bad comments and stares go away. This sort of societal treatment impacted my confidence and self-esteem.

I always thought of my height as a disadvantage to how I wanted to live my life. I always thought I would never be able to wear heels and walk casually down the street.

I always thought finding a partner would be so hard because no guy would want to date a girl taller than him. And I always thought being a tall woman would be a curse and never a blessing.

You see, I used to be so careful about how I lived my life: what I said, whom I talked to, what I wore, and what I did... all because I didn't know what people would think – what society would think.

I used to care so much. I used to worry about what people would think of me. After all, I am a tall woman and not only does that make me DIFFERENT, but it makes me a target: of attention, of stares, of whispers. But it doesn't matter anymore. I am not trying to fit into what people think a woman should look like.

Each and every single person has their own views of themselves and we -- as individuals and as a whole -- shouldn't feel the need to change those views.

Sometimes, one of the toughest mental health challenges we face is simply learning to feel good about ourselves.

 If I could give any advice to tall women feeling insecure it would be to never shrink yourself for anybody. Always be proud of who you are and how you were made, and everybody will reciprocate that same energy. Once I accepted myself, I instantly started to walk taller and be proud. Happiness comes from within. You have to be comfortable and love yourself for who you are, first and foremost. It is important that we play a role in helping to end the cycle of body hatred, especially with young girls.

 Here I am, on my own path toward self-discovery as I learnt, like all tall girls must learn, to own my height.