My Orchid

Born into the Vietnam War, my mom was given the name?Orchid. Perhaps her father had hoped that, like an orchid, she would be strong and beautiful despite her inhospitable surroundings. She has lived up to her name.??

At 33, my mom had to make the most harrowing decision of her life. Her husband had decided that the only way for them to have a better life was for him to escape Vietnam. She needed to decide whether to let her beloved first-born teenage son go with him. The journey would be treacherous; the chance of death was high. Her son could slow her husband down, further risking both their lives. Yet, if he were to stay home, he would be conscripted into the Communist military. This was equally dangerous for children of those on the losing side of the War. In addition, without her husband's support, how could she obtain enough food to feed the remaining members of the family? Perhaps death at sea would be more pleasant than the hardship of famine and the hazard of conscription. After weeks of indecision, she let her son go only to spend years wondering if that was the right choice.

It would be several months before my mom got wind of her husband and son’s safe arrival at a refugee camp. Meanwhile, once her husband and son had left, my mom faced the unimaginable task of diffusing suspicion of their absence. At that time, travel was restricted, so there were not many plausibly legal explanations for why someone would not be home. Public knowledge of her husband's and son's absence would jeopardize their chance of escape. If caught, they would be severely punished and their household registration would be revoked. My mom was in constant fear of getting arrested, questioned, extorted, and punished for her husband’s illegal attempt to leave Vietnam. Before my mom was questioned by the local police, however, she was cross-examined by her future-lawyer daughter. The pesky little four-year-old would not accept her mother’s heart-breaking lies about the departure of her father and brother. In the end, my mother took the biggest risk of all; she entrusted a preschooler with the truth. As much as she would prefer to entertain an innocent child with fairy tales, she told her daughter about the horrors of war and injustice. She instilled in her daughter the audacity to reject the status quo and the will to fight for their dream of a better life. Most importantly, she taught her daughter to keep confidence, a skill that would become most crucial in her daughter’s future career.

Just like an orchid whose name she shares, my mother thrived under hardship. She would spend the next six years as a single mother doing whatever she could to feed and educate her daughters. Working as a street vendor by day and producer by night, she sold whatever she could make--from homemade yogurt to handknit sweaters. After her husband settled in America and sent home some money, she invested the money to buy a knitting machine and opened a small convenience shop. Her resourcefulness shielded her daughters from the hardships she endured.?

After six long years of separation and countless sleepless nights, my mom reunited with her beloved husband and son in America. Her immediate family was whole again, but she found herself still separated from her loved ones who could not leave Vietnam. When she left home, she left behind pieces of herself -- her language, her achievements, and her identity. At 40, her life began all over again. Actualizing their American Dream, she worked long hours and multiple jobs simultaneously to ensure her children’s future success. As soon as she saved up enough money, she opened a dry cleaning shop and a Vietnamese restaurant. Her entrepreneurial spirit inspired her children to embrace the challenges of life.?

Without a doubt, her children would not have had the opportunities America has afforded them had their father not risked his life to bring them here. However, it was her exemplary demonstration of resilience and determination that taught them to seize those opportunities. Their successes are her blossoms.

I am grateful and proud to be a daughter of an orchid. My mom is strong and beautiful.?