My Open Message to Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook's 15th Birthday

Let me just put this out there: I am not surprised by any action currently taken by Facebook and its members. In fact, I would go as far as to say that the mood swings, irritability, irrational decision making, and thirst for attention are all completely developmentally normal. Why? Just as Facebook turns 15 years old in February, I also live with two teenagers of the same age and am highly attuned to this type of behavior.

I love my children, ages 15 and 13, but on some days they go from having solved world peace to yelling at the same world that they cannot find their socks. They went from being cute little ones whom you could easily pick up and move if trouble began and grew into colossal personalities that the words ‘stand down’ have little meaning to them. Unbeknownst to myself and Mr. Mark Zuckerberg in 2004, we would live a life in parallel as his social media baby would begin to grow and I would take on the adventure in parenting for the very first time. Who knew that developing the strongest social media platform in the world would be like wrestling a Thor strengthened toddler who needed a diaper change?

Over the last 15 years, Mr. Zuckerberg and I have shared the experience of countless sleepless nights, seen the joys of development milestones reached, and had WAY too much advice given to us from nosy onlookers who felt they could tell us how to do a better job than what we were doing. We have sacrificed what life could have been to seek something better in what is ahead. We are battered, torn, empowered, and energized all at once.

So here we are at age 15. While very young, it is monumental age. Children either begin turning into young adults taking on responsibilities and exemplifying good judgement or they never leave the drama of uncontrollable hormones behind as they age. For our house, the future looks bright. Each day brings new opportunity to grow, mature, and make good choices. Our family stands on one simple, yet groundbreaking, rule: You never need to agree with everyone, and everyone will not agree with you, however you must always show the same love and respect to all.

Think of Facebook’s position as this; Facebook began to sit with the wrong crowd at 9th grade lunch. The beloved, yet hated, let’s-blame-it-on-someone-else social platform that has turned the world and each of us on our heads is being overdriven by the drama that the other kids at the table continue to thrive on. Facebook’s identity is at risk because of the poor influence of its friends who have made bad choices (data sharing, fake campaigns, hacked accounts).  Facebook becomes guilty by association because its friends figured out how to take advantage of the relationship. Facebook did not take steps to protect itself.

Then there are all of the other 15-year-old friends sitting at that lunch table… who are all of us. What collective responsibility do we have for yelling from a soapbox as if we are the only ones worth being heard? We willingly stepped into this 'friendship' on Facebook! Please, let me post more about how I am anti-unicorn, pro trees, who only eats food without dihydrogen monoxide. Oh, and if you disagree that my kids shouldn’t be allowed to watch Transformers so many times in row - then we must be mortal enemies.

While some kids at the table have left, which is a difficult choice to leave friends behind, I have chosen to stay. Just as I am committed to my own children, I have committed myself to fostering authentic relationships online and caring for them as I would in-person. I love viewing Facebook posts from St. Barnabas Orphanage in Kenya whom my family supports, I love engaging with my business clients and cheering them on in their success, and it means the world to me when I can offer a bit of encouragement to a friend in need. What an amazing place Facebook can be when love and respect are the first values brought by its members.

If I could offer Mr. Zuckerberg a moment of parenting advice as we watch our children grow is that they need us for the long haul and we will get through this (with wine). We are all collectively learning how to transform ourselves on social media from eager teenagers seeking attention to adults who desire to give value first to others. As parents, it is always our turn to take the lead by exemplifying the correct behaviors and expectations for our children to follow. Let's take the lead to continue to harness the power of positive social media .

Deb Colitas is Founder & CEO of Digital Network Superstar. Her mission is to help the world better connect their in-person and digital networks to increase sales, influence, and opportunity. Through authenticity and valuing each other through love and respect, amazing things can happen in business and life! www.DigitalNetworkSuperstar.com