My NFL Experience

The recent revelation of Jon Gruden’s emails has rocked the sports world. Though given the flagrancy of his remarks, should we be surprised??After all, Gruden felt safe enough to put his misogynistic, racist and homophobic remarks in writing. He sent emails teeming with hatred for his co-workers and players, yet none of his recipients raised a hand – at the NFL or ESPN. In fact, Coach Gruden’s true identity was only publicly revealed after his emails were discovered as part of an investigation into similarly disdainful practices at the Washington Football Team, another ridiculous and flawed organization which we’ll set aside for now.?

The Gruden story has reminded me of my experience with the National Football League. It was 2007, and an executive recruiter contacted me about the lead marketing role at NFL Network. To say I was excited about the opportunity would be an understatement.

I was the senior vice president of marketing at The Outdoor Channel, a small, independent cable television network. While I enjoyed my job and my colleagues, I knew that working at the NFL would take my career to a whole new level. I gave myself wholly to the recruiting and interview process and became a finalist for my dream job. I was given every indication that I was “the” finalist.

As a last step, I was asked to meet with NFL Network’s then-president. As I sat across from him at the Polo Lounge in The Beverly Hills Hotel, my dream came to a screeching halt. He had worked with The Outdoor Channel's CEO when both were executives at ESPN years earlier. He informed me matter-of-factly and in a hushed and chiding tone that he would have to get “his good friend’s blessing” to hire me for the role at the NFL.

I was aghast. My first feeling was fear. What if this didn’t work out, and my boss at The Outdoor Channel retaliated against me for seeking a job elsewhere? Once I calmed down, I realized I was the lead candidate. I convinced myself that no rational leader would deny someone the once in a lifetime opportunity to work at a marquee organization like the NFL. I immediately called my parents and told them I was in the running for the role and had a good shot at landing it. I was proud, and they were proud of me.

A few days later, I got a call from the NFL executive who was running the search. She’d been a straight shooter throughout the process, and I was grateful for her candor. She told me that her network president had spoken to mine, and things weren’t going to work out. The inference was that my boss at The Outdoor Channel had not given his blessing for me to take the role at the NFL Network. ?

I was stunned and hurt. Naively, I had no idea these things happened in America. I’d always worked on the premise that my experience, talent and work ethic would jettison me to great things.?I didn’t realize that my career choices could be limited by two powerful men who regarded me as little more than chattel.

For me, working at the NFL would not only have been the pinnacle of my career.?It would have been an arrival of sorts for my entire family, evidence that our journey meant something, and we had come full circle. Let me explain.

I am an unabashed NFL football fan. Some people prefer college football because they claim the players haven’t been jaded yet and their motives are somehow purer. I don’t. I want to watch the best in the world duke it out every Sunday.

I was born in Pittsburgh which means I took my first shriek in the world as a Steelers fan. To root for any other team would have been met with scorn in my football-obsessed family. Growing up, I spent most Sundays sitting next to my dad on the floor of our family room watching football. It was one of the few ways we were able to connect.

My favorite book is The Blind Side. Michael Lewis’ book about Michael Oher’s incredible climb to the NFL is about so much more. It provides perhaps the most coherent history of offense in the NFL and is a manual of sorts for any leader looking to create a strategic and thoughtful system for winning.

Years ago, after I got divorced and signed up for a professional matchmaking service, I had to come up with short list of “must haves” for my potential mate. Most people specify things like religion, education or an outlook on children. I put “must follow NFL football” at the very top of my list.

Our family had a special connection to the Rooneys, the family who founded and built the Steelers franchise. ?In 1975, my father was finishing up his education at West Virginia University. He had recently returned from two tours of duty in Vietnam and was using the GI Bill to build a better life for our family. He was a stellar undergraduate student and decided to apply to law school.

He needed letters of recommendation, and my grandmother suggested approaching Art Rooney, Sr. or “The Chief” as he was known to Steeler fans far and wide. My grandmother claimed that her dad knew The Chief from local politics. She was certain she could get a letter of recommendation from him to give my dad’s law school application that extra bit of juice.

My father was dubious. Like many families, ours was prone to telling tall tales and stretching the truth, a habit cemented earnestly in local watering holes on the North Side of Pittsburgh. Imagine my dad’s surprise when he received the letter of recommendation from The Chief himself. Being the consummate gentleman, Mr. Rooney also sent my grandmother a handwritten postcard to let her know he’d followed through.

That postcard has become a cherished family heirloom changing hands numerous times. I am currently the holder of this artifact, and I covet it because it represents an early step in our family’s journey from poverty to a better life.

Days after getting rejected for the NFL job, my boss at The Outdoor Channel called me. Out of the blue, he gave me a promotion and a significant raise. It was almost like a consolation prize for taking the NFL role away from me, though he never spoke of it. At that point in my life, I wasn’t courageous enough to hold him accountable for intervening in my career.?

I’m much wiser now. I hadn’t thought about this experience with the NFL in a long time. The Gruden story triggered my memory.

Even without the NFL mark on my resume, I’ve had a terrific run. Two years after the NFL incident, I left The Outdoor Channel for the top marketing job at HGTV. On the day I accepted the HGTV offer, I remember breathing a sigh of relief, thinking no one can take this from me.

I became a CEO several years ago. Now that I’m in the top spot, I can’t imagine treating one of my executives in the same way. I’m a big proponent of succession planning, and when one of my direct reports lands a job offer that’s a step up, I’m happy for them. I’d love to keep all of my high performers, but sometimes a move to another organization is best for a person’s career growth. I’d never stand in the way of someone’s ambition and progress.

I regret not standing up for myself to two men who decided I was a thing to be bartered rather than a full-fledged adult with free will. I also wonder if they would have pulled the same stunt with a man. And, I must admit there’s a part of me that wonders if my career would have turned out differently with the backing of a mega-brand like the NFL.

On the flip side, I also feel like I dodged a bullet. I remember one of my early interview rounds at the league in New York. I was struck by how joyless and lacking in energy that environment was. People’s faces told the tale: not a lot of eye contact and very few smiles. And by people, I mean mostly white guys of a certain generation.

My initial read on the NFL’s culture has been validated over the last decade. The league’s treatment of retired players was callous, and their slow move to establish a responsible concussion protocol was irresponsible. The arrogance and insensitivity showed towards Black players in light of George Floyd’s murder and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement was deplorable.?I was at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans. I watched Colin Kaepernick play. He deserved to be there, and his expulsion from his livelihood is pure and simple retaliation. That’s the kind of organization that allowed Gruden to flourish.

Any culture that shows such blatant disregard for a person’s right to choose where she works is no place for me. I’ve always believed that my fleeting experience with the NFL was an indicator of the organization’s loyalty to the power of white men. Now that Jon Gruden’s emails are public, I know that’s true.

#nfl #leadership #feminism #diversityandinclusion #ceoinsights