My Narrator and the Voices in My Head
Dr Shungu Hilda M'gadzah
AUTHOR: UNDERSTANDING & DEALING WITH RACISM #SIXSTAGESFRAMEWORK. PSYCHOLOGIST, DIVERSITY, EQUITY AND INCLUSION COACH & TRAINER Doc. in Emotional Intelligence. Director & Lead Psychologist at Inclusion Psychologists Ltd.
By Dr Shungu H. M'gadzah
My Narrator is a part of me— A quiet guide, a voice that reminds me That everything is okay. While some see images, I hear words, A gentle companion walking me through life.
But not all voices are kind. There are those that whisper doubt, Shouting I’m not good enough, Calling me stupid, Casting shadows over my every move.
Once, someone told me, “You’re a bright girl, Zinzi.” But I couldn’t believe them— Not over the noise in my head.
They said, “Your anxiety and depression don’t define you.” But their words couldn’t reach me, Drowned out by the relentless critics within.
Now, a year later, I’ve started to fight back. With help, with time, with courage, I’m learning to quiet the voices. I’m less vulnerable, more grounded— I can see what’s real.
I am reclaiming control. My Narrator, steady and calm, Has taken the place of those critics. Sure, they aren’t perfect; Sometimes they stumble, But I trust them.
I am more than my anxiety, More than my depression. They don’t define me. Panic no longer grips me with terror, My legs no longer turn to jelly. I am no longer frozen by fear.
I’ve learned kindness—toward myself. The need to hurt, to punish, To escape the pain— It doesn’t consume me anymore.
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There are moments I wonder, Could I have done more? Could I have asked for help sooner? Gone to school, to work, to life? But then my Narrator says, “One step at a time, Zinzi.”
And I remember the words someone once shared: “Don’t let anxiety and depression steal your dreams. You are more than this. You are capable of anything.”
Now, for the first time, I believe them. The critics have quieted, The darkness has lifted. Hope takes their place.
“One step at a time, Zinzi,” my Narrator says. And I listen.
I have something to live for, Someone to believe in— And that someone is me.
After all, that’s all I need. That’s all that matters.
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