My name is SHAWN DIDDY – NO relation to the celebrity currently in the news. Here’s why I chose today, October 8th, to explain my name

I was adopted as a child, and that’s a story for another post. I have pledged to make these stories around 1000 words and a 5-minute read, so here we go. This post is about a Diddy, but not the Diddy you read about in the news; this post is about Eric Diddy.

The name I was given as a child was Shawn Marie Brogan. I grew up in a small town in Iowa where I was the neighborhood babysitter starting at age 10. When I was old enough for a “real” job, my good friend, Eric Diddy, got me a job doing the night computer processing at his family’s bank. The bank was on a corner of Main Street in our hometown. Eric showed me the important things like how to run the checks through a sorting machine in the basement and also how to avoid setting off the security alarm as I moved through the bank floor to sit in the large window that overlooked Main Street. From there, I could watch our friends cruise Main while I waited for the computer updates to complete.

I have just aged myself and will clarify the terms commonly used in the 1980s for those who didn’t experience it. Canceled (used) checks were returned to those who originally wrote them in a monthly mailed statement. A machine would sort the checks by account number so we could then add them to the printed statement, ready for placement in a postal mail envelope.

The second term, “cruising Main” is very important. Muscle cars in our high school years were generally from the 1960’s and early 70’s, though there were a few ‘55’s in town. Over the years, Eric had a Camaro, then a Trans Am, a blue truck with the loudest stereo I had ever heard (with removable speakers used at parties), and a black Toyota pickup, purchased from my then boyfriend, Randy, who was Eric’s friend. Eric also had a motorcycle. I think he would be annoyed if I didn’t mention that. I also think Eric would want me to clearly state that he was a very cool guy and he had great hair and a charming smile. (Insert wink with slight eye roll here).?Eric and I remained friends beyond high school, and there are enough adventure stories to fill a book, hence I’m writing one. ?But only 1000 words will be written here for this ?5-minute read.

After high school, Eric and his girlfriend moved to San Diego, CA, where he attended college. I was a year younger, so when I was a high school senior, Eric’s younger brother and I flew from the Des Moines airport to visit California. It was my first time in an airplane, first beach experience, first visit to Los Angeles, and my first trip to Mexico—Tijuana. Oh, my.

?Nearly a decade later, Eric and I ran into each other over Thanksgiving and caught up as though no time had passed. I was preparing to compete in the 1997 Miss Iowa USA pageant, and he told me he’d call me the following month to see if I won. By this point, Eric had moved to Minneapolis, MN, and was divorced. I was running a karaoke and DJ company, working as a singer, and as an employment training specialist in workplace support for people with disabilities. Eric was in automotive finance and had just traded his Sea Ray Sedan Bridge boat in on a 1972 Trojan 47-foot wooden flush deck motor yacht named M.Y. Prerogative. I know it’s called a yacht, but she was a big old wooden boat at the end of the day. But she was beautiful.

I promised 1000 words and 5 minutes in these stories, so I’m going to give you highlights from here. ?Eric loved the water, as well as winter and snow skiing. He spent hours in nature cross-country skiing with his Newfoundland dog, B.D. You see her in the photo where I’m wearing the Miss Iowa banner and crown, so yes, I won the title. You also see B.D., the dog, in our wedding photo.

We got married on the boat on July 4, 1998, on a lake outside of Knoxville, TN. That’s the day my name legally changed to Shawn Marie Diddy. Hence, I was REALLY Shawn Diddy before the other celebrity guy made his name up.

Eric and I moved the boat by water from Stillwater, MN to the Inner Harbor of Baltimore, MD. The boat had twin Chrysler 440 gas engines, so we only traveled at about 8 knots, or 10 miles per hour, most of the time. ?Eric took a job in Baltimore, and I transferred my master's degree studies from UNC Greensboro to Towson University. I drove from Baltimore to West Chester, PA, as a product representative on QVC. Our daughter was born in October 1999. ?Yes, she gets “Little Diddy” jokes even as an adult.

Eric Diddy was born on October 8, 1968, as you can see in the photo of his gravestone. He would have turned 56 today. I envision Eric somewhere “beyond” with his grandfather, his mother, and our friend Randy, enjoying all the best weather. I hope Jimmy Buffet is also hanging out with that crew, singing “One Particular Harbor.” We played that song and “Drift Away” in our Iowa hometown on July 2, 2004, the day of Eric’s funeral.

Eric and I had some rough patches, and I address that when I talk about disenfranchised grief and the workplace. I also talk about the good times. Like many people who experience the cycles of grief, I pause when certain songs play or when a memory or specific date on the calendar comes up. As I write this, the news is covering the celebrity Diddy’s legal issues. I would like to bring your attention for a moment to recognize Eric Diddy on the anniversary of his birth. Eric got me my first job, and I say his family name each time I introduce myself in my present work. Hi, I’m Shawn Diddy.

As an example of Eric Diddy in the news, I’ve added a photo of a Baltimore Sun article about our participation in a Wife-Carrying Contest at the Maryland State Fair. Yes, you read that correctly: a Wife-Carrying Contest. There were very few “dull moments” during our marriage.

Thanks, Eric. Happy Birthday.