My Mother JS: End OF An Era

When my father passed away in 2013, I had posted a tribute titled ‘My Father KK’ on my blogsite. By paying this little tribute to my mother, I am kind of completing the cycle. It truly marks the end of an era for us in the family.

Earlier this year, in a moment of inspiration, or maybe it was sheer thoughtfulness, I spontaneously invited my mother Jayalakshmi Subramanian (JS) for a podcast on my YouTube Channel. She was about to turn 85 and I was fascinated by how she kept herself busy through the day despite having acute knee pain, severely restricting her movements, and a cardiac history. She readily jumped at the opportunity and we recorded what I can say is an interview for the ages.

Besides the lifelong memories, through this podcast, all of us can feel her presence forever, even though she left us on September 8 this year (Link to ‘I Interview My Mother’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHX9UfydlHI&t=50s). Post the interview, she delighted in the appreciations that flowed from our relatives and my circle of contacts. She delighted in the ‘public figure’ she had become due to the podcast and proudly, and deservedly, flaunted her new-found status. After all, as a senior citizen, she shared pearls of wisdom for fellow senior citizens.

In the interview she shared about her daily schedule and how she kept her mind alert by indulging in solving sudoku, watching YouTube videos on her smart phone and reading books. She was an avid and fast reader. Apparently, as shared by her in the interview, she started reading magazines from the age of 7. We brothers acquired this incredible reading habit from our parents and have tried to pass it on to our children too.

My mother was my ‘fan’ as she would read all my books and also watch my YouTube videos. She was a woman with great resilience. She had to nurse me, her second son, with great care as I was a weak child. A teacher by profession, which she quit to take care of the family, she, along with our father, inculcated in us certain core values of discipline, intellectual discourse and simple living.

Never financially quite abundant as we were just another middle class family next door in the so called ‘old’ India, our parents however ensured we children never had to feel inadequate about the basics and the occasional indulgences. By all standards we had a sober upbringing grounded in strong middle class values of education and loyalty. But our parents did not quite budget for the ‘rebel’ kids they had given birth to.

Though we flowered intellectually and imbibed the spirit of hard work, we just got by academically. Yet, they supported our choices, though grudgingly at times, and mother, especially got on with her sense of holistic self-management. When I reflect back, my mother’s life was one of resilience. We brothers seem to have somewhere acquired that in our genes.

She stood by my father like a rock as he went through several health upheavals, and yet emerged stronger and sorted. JS was a practical lady who believed in balancing the forces of life and tried to do her best for her husband, sons, and their families too. In many ways, she was just another mother in a typical country where homemakers are hardly celebrated, but without whose contribution the fundamental fabric of our nation would be in shambles.

But behind the closed doors, besides being a great wife, mother and grandmother, my mother was an intellectual of sorts, as right till the end she kept herself informed of current affairs and had an opinion on events and personalities. We discussed cricket, politics and Bollywood with her.

When my father passed away in 2013, I had posted a tribute titled ‘My Father KK’ on my blogsite bolharrybol.blogspot.com (link to the blog: https://bolharrybol.blogspot.com/2013/04/my-father-kk.html). By paying this little tribute to my mother, I am kind of completing the cycle. It truly marks the end of an era for us in the family.

People age and die and that’s the law of life. But as I experienced after my father passed away, you never quite get over the loss of your parents. My mother had limited desires, but she yearned to die without suffering, and that she achieved, though not fully, but substantially.

Dear Amma, Thank You For Everything And We Will Miss You Always!