My Most Humiliating Sales Meeting

''What are you doing?'' Seriously what the hell are you doing?'' He asked in a snappy voice.

So a bit of background. He was the managing director of a boutique luxury real estate company. He was in his late 50s and would be considered a high DI on the DISC profile. Intense, dominant, and probably still stuck in a 1990s leadership style.

How we crossed paths was that he contacted me on LinkedIn and wanted to chat about training his real estate sales consultants. They sold multimillion-dollar homes in Toorak. An extremely affluent inner suburb in Melbourne.?When speaking with him on the phone he mentioned that his agents were apparently losing touch with their clients. Previously, they had many real estate sales trainers come their way, but he wanted something different.

So after our brief phone chat, I flew 550 miles from Sydney to Toorak Melbourne to meet him for lunch. You can say that it was a bit out of my way. As soon as I saw him and his EA walking towards me outside of the restaurant, I could sense that they reeked arrogance. But I tried not to judge too early. As we walked towards the restaurant, they proudly told me about their exciting week flying across the world to meet some important clients in both Paris and NY.

So we finally sat for lunch, I wasted little time. I quickly took out my notebook and pen and started asking this guy discovery questions. He was not happy.

I mean I should have known better. Anytime we have the privilege of having lunch or coffee with any client, it’s important to build rapport. Get to know the person before discussing business. I mean this is what I’ve always done and taught. 'HPFT' Hobbies, Passions, Travel and Family talk. But occasionally I slip back into my introverted low tolerance for small talk nature. And on that day, I was not at my best game. Perhaps it was also due to being at my peak. I had a full sales pipeline and was having my best quarter. And I was probably projecting by judging him and his young blonde EA as snobs. Maybe I was the conceited one. So this guy quickly slapped me back down to earth.

?''What are you doing? Seriously what the hell are you doing? Shut the book and put the pen down. What you're doing right now might work with 99% of people, but it's not going to work on me!''?This was the first sentence that came out of this guy’s mouth as we sat down to have a business lunch. If there was a camera close up to his face, and you didn’t see who he was talking to, you may have assumed that he was scolding a small child.

For one of the rare times in my life, I was speechless. Actually, I felt rather humiliated. I was frozen in flight mode. There I was, an experienced sales trainer, with plenty of sales victories and experience, and I was getting a humbling lesson in sales 101. I went bright red.

I looked over to his EA, and she was looking straight at me. She looked entertained. Was she smirking?

My mind was racing. Was this guy getting off on his power? I wasn’t sure. Then my victim inner monologue started. Is he disrespecting me because I’m female? Or maybe because I’m not Anglo? Or could it be because I’m young? Or maybe he could tell that I didn’t go to a private school like him? Anyway, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t prepared to go down this poor me loop. I wasn’t a mind reader, and it wasn’t good to make assumptions. Because in the past, these were the stories that held me back from selling.

So I instantly pulled myself together, and asked, ''Okay fair enough. I can see what you mean. So what would you like to talk about Ben?'' He sneered, and about 30 seconds later responds, “Well let me tell you about why my clients are important to me.’’ And rambled on for an hour about how he wanted to be invited to his client’s weddings, baptisms and funerals. We ended the lunch amicably, but I could not wait to get away to recover from the embarrassment.

If I could go back in time, what would I have done differently? Probably nothing, because it was a good learning experience. In hindsight, here are a few things that would have made all the difference.

I would have focused on building rapport by:

1. Asking more about his trips to New York and Paris.
2. Asking about how he got into real estate and how it has changed over the years.
3. Mentioning one of his posts on LinkedIn and why it was memorable.
4. Mentioning a quote from one of the articles he was featured in and asking him to elaborate.
5. Asking what he loved most about working in real estate.
6. Asking about one of his most memorable clients.
7. Or simply just asking about his day and what he and his EA got up to.

But maybe nothing would have made a difference because he was just on a power trip, or simply having a bad day.

Okay yes, it was a good lesson learned, and he asked me to follow up. But I never did. Looking back, sure, I can see Ben’s point of view. I do thank him for the lesson. But he could have taken a more respectful approach. Ben is not someone that I would want as a boss, or colleague. So why would I want him as a client? No amount of money is worth that foreseeable stress.?

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