"My Mom Did Everything"

That’s what a client said on a discovery call this week, reflecting on why she felt the need to “do it all.” It struck a chord with me because I’ve been there too—carrying the weight of those expectations, both self-imposed and inherited.

We often default to what’s been modeled for us. And for so many of us, that model was a mother who did everything. But here’s the thing: it’s not your fault. For generations, women have carried the mental, emotional, and physical load of running households, raising kids, and over the past several decades, working outside the home. This is the way it's been, and it’s deeply ingrained.

But that doesn't mean we’re powerless. In fact, we’re the ones with the power to rewrite the narrative for future generations.

This “I do it all because that’s what I saw” resonates with me because my mom was the same way. She was a single mom with four kids, working a flexible job from home, involved in the PTA, and never missed a volleyball game. She made home-cooked meals, kept us on track, and did it all. She was a force of nature. But that drive to be everything for everyone came with a cost.

In her 50s, my mom was diagnosed with rare autoimmune conditions. She passed away at just 63. I think about her every day. And now, as a mom myself, I look back and wonder if the burnout, stress, and never-ending pressure to hold it all together contributed to her health issues. I wonder what might have been different if she had felt empowered to ask for help, if she hadn’t felt like doing so would be a sign of failure.

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be like my mom. And I’ve spent much of my life trying not to be like her. I don’t want to feel the isolation she did. I don’t want to do it all alone. I don’t want to burn out, and I don’t want to look back and regret not taking better care of myself.

Starting Sage Haus was about rewriting that story—not just for me, but for every mom who feels like she’s falling into the same cycle. So many of us grew up seeing this “supermom” example, and today, we still feel the pressure to wear that badge.

But at what cost?

Burnout. Anxiety. Health issues.

The truth is, my mom didn’t have the support she needed. We lived far away from extended family. And she didn’t feel like she could ask for it.

Here’s the thing: it’s not your fault if you feel like you have to do it all. But you have the power to change it for yourself—and for future generations. We can model a new way forward, one where we can ask for help, build our support systems, and prioritize our well-being.

At Sage Haus, my goal is to help busy moms create the systems they need and find the support they deserve. Because we need to break free from the burnout cycle—for ourselves, for our kids, and for the generations to come.

If you feel like you’re “doing it all” because that’s what you saw growing up, I get it. But you don’t have to continue that pattern. We can rewrite this story together.

Life is too short for anything else.

P.S. I miss my mom every day and wish she had more help. I think she’d be proud that I’m actively rewriting the narrative for all moms.