MY MIND, MY BODY, MY PAST, ME and MY FUTURE

It’s exactly, 2:27 am, 5th April, 2019 my eyes are wide open from a nightmare, after tossing and turning on my bed, and only my mind knows why it wont let me

rest. So I decided to tell you something, I decided to share something

with you. It might be the same story as yours, but hey…. please don’t stop

reading, keep on reading to the very last word, I want to connect with you. Yes you.

So I want to tell you about MY MIND, MY BODY, MY PAST, ME and MY FUTURE.

For a long time, there was ME, ME was full of great stories, great ambitions, 

striving, hopes, ideas, cravings and desires of a brighter FUTURE.

ME was trying not to become an outcome of my violent past; but one can’t plant a mango seed and harvest oranges implying the adage; what you sow is exactly what you reap(garbage in — garbage out), but funny enough the pain of violence that has already occurred on my body and in my mind was a pretty significant outcome.

ME couldn’t be any better than violent, but ME never gave up on accepting my past and moving on.

Because ME wanted to be somebody, something, someday, somehow, somewhere…..(sigh).

ME had no family, no friends, no one, no where, ME pushed, ME struggled but

yet ME failed but never gave up.

The harder ME pushed, MY MIND told ME to just stop.

The harder ME pushed, MY BODY told ME to give up.

The harder ME pushed, MY PAST told ME to there is no future.

But the harder I pushed, ME realized ME only existed in the TRYING. ME only existed if I tried, but don’t forget MY BODY was always in the way to MY FUTURE.

MY BODY could not bare the pain, the long hours of reading, the long hours of sitting to think, the long hours of staying up with no food, MY BODY had no flesh again. MY BODY gave up on ME. ME had no goals, no plans, ME was just trying anything, but ME sat to write goal, and had a plan to achieve the goal.

But ME connected to MY MIND and all the time MY MIND reflects MY PAST. So ME told MY MIND, I am ME, not the ME you want ME to be. I can’t change MY PAST for anyone’s. I can’t force to ignore MY PAST just to fit in.

This is ME. As ME and MY MIND struggled on understanding each other MY BODY was motivated to stay up for hours, to go the extra mile, to make it through

the day with or without food. MY MIND after a while accepted MY PAST, now ME walked boldly through a crowd of pointing fingers, ME by passed accusations, ME by passed all challenges,ME by passed every pain,

torture, grief, violence in MY MIND, now ME started pushing harder all over again:

The harder ME pushed now, MY MIND told ME, we are almost there.

The harder ME pushed now, MY BODY told ME, i won’t give up.

The harder ME pushed now, MY PAST told ME, there is a brighter future.

……….(sigh)……………..

Listen;

YOU will only exist if you ever try.YOU will be remembered if you ever try.YOU will succeed if you ever try. YOU will make it if you ever try.YOU will be you if you ever try no matter your past, financial status or academic stance.YOU can make it. The world has not ended for you if you have lost your mum, dad, family or guardians. It might take a long while, but hey you will get there, it might not go as planned but hey you will get there, you might not have what it takes as in qualifications but hey you have something nobody has. YOU CAN MAKE IT.

Never forget to bounce back when YOUR MIND, takes YOU to YOUR PAST, accept who you are and plan for YOUR FUTURE.

YOUR FUTURE is YOU, no one else can make it for you, although some people can try but YOU is the main factor.

(it’s exactly 3:10 am, and i am glad i shared this with you).