My Middle Aged Response to (sexual) assault

I have hesitated about writing this. Firstly, because I am okay and secondly, because I am ashamed about my response. But as a leader - understanding leadership comes in all shapes and sizes and types - perhaps by sharing my story I can help others and also learn. On Monday 8th July at 7pm ish after finishing my last meeting of the day, I was walking down an empty London street, when a young man in his 20s walked past me and fondled my bottom. The whole incident lasted 3 seconds.

When I spoke to others about this, after checking that I was okay, they all assumed that I gave him a piece of my mind and defended myself. I didn't. That's the point.

My initial response was to assume I had done something. That somehow I had walked into him? (I hadn't). Or that perhaps I had imagined it? (I didn't) I carried on walking. It was only when I turned back and he turned back at the same time and he then did a weird clicking things with his fingers and made an odd sound, that I knew that he had decided it was okay to slide his hand deliberately over my bottom. And still, I said and did nothing. I carried on walking.

Those who know me know I can be fierce in my advocacy. I am passionate about DE&I and believe that as I woman I have a right to go about my business in the same way as any other human being. Always. Yet, when I could have spoken up for myself, I didn't.

It was only after speaking with my husband, who told me in no uncertain terms what had happened to me was not okay and if it had happened to my 17 year old step-daughter, or indeed any member of LS team that I would have been the first to decry this and talk about the rule of law, that I realised I had a responsibility to report this.

I called the Met Police (101) and explained what had happened. They came to see me yesterday at home - their first available opportunity to do so. During this conversation with the (young) police constable - who was fantastic by the way - I heard myself say the following "I would never forgive myself if this man did something more serious to another woman or is known to you because as a middle-aged woman aren't we all a bit invisible to the opposite sex?" And there you have it. I understood.

These past few years, as I have navigated the peri-menopause and menopause and my relationship with myself and all it brings somehow I lost my Jessica Rabbit-self. That confident, sexual creature who understood her value and her place in the world. So, today I am claiming her back. For me and for all the other invisible middle-aged woman.

God forbid, if I see the young lad who did this to me again, be afraid, fella. Be very afraid. Because the tongue lashing you will receive would make you cease and desist from any future fondling.

I started by writing how ashamed I was of myself. I am no longer. Because shame hides in the dark and can't survive in the light and in truth. Have a great Friday everyone. I am off for lunch with my EA to celebrate her (and me).