My Mental Health Toolkit at Christmas
Looks like it is going to be a challenging Christmas this year for all of us, As I sit here on my final day of isolation , The Spector of another Christmas looms large. Anyone who has endured interesting family dynamics or suffered from mental health challenges over the years knows that Christmas can really amplify emotion. – it can be the best of times when things are going well, it can be a real challenge when you are not feeling so great. As someone who has suffered from mental health challenges in the past and given the fact that we seem to be staring down the barrel of particularly demanding Christmas this year, I wanted to collect some of my coping strategies for getting through.
I am not a professional but hope that sharing my personal experiences may be of help anyone looking to find a way through.
Oddly, anxiety can be a cruel companion, refusing to let you sleep, relax or focus on the moment as you are too busy thinking about something else that you may not be able to control. For me this was an unbreakable pattern that I got trapped in. Only after seeking professional help did I discover coping strategies to tackle this.
Promises, Promises!
The desperate feelings I was experiencing often boiled down to a perceived lack of control over my life, future etc. As such one very effective tool for tackling these feelings was to engage in a range of small activities that I was able to control. At first, they were wholly non related to anything – A short and disappointing pottery career was a testament to this. But the act of taking control, completing something, and following through on a promise I had made myself was a powerful antidote to some of the feelings I was experiencing. This simple act of making a promise to yourself and following through, no matter how small, was transformative for me as it helped me to see that personal change and growth is not only possible but within my grasp. Gradually over time, I stopped feeling owned by my thoughts and found a way to step out of those shadows.
I have to say I received lots of help from my loved ones but their sympathy only served to perpetuate my self inflicted challenges. I had to take steps to make changes.
My continuing relationship with challenging mental health has been made bearable and even pleasurable by understanding that I can master my own thoughts and effect change on my behaviour. This process of effecting change has become a lifelong obsession. Little things I neglected stacked up and lead to feelings of hopelessness, remorse and crippling inferiority. I experienced these feelings during a booming economy with no virus’ or BREXIT.
Focus on Small things rather than Big things.
I now find myself seeking out little things to do and focus on, small moments to make improvements, offer a little support here and there. These small tasks are great for mental health challenges as they offer a chance to start feeling better but also stopped me thinking about the bigger things I cannot control.
Ultimately, I discovered that me on good form in a challenging environment was way more fun to experience that me on bad form in a pleasant environment. The startling conclusion was that my feelings were not actually a function of the situation I was in but rather my relationship with myself, something I could influence. This was a powerful moment.
Journal writing – get it out, in private!
An eternal and silent friend of someone trying to conquer anxiety is the Journal, written by you for you. I found a journal was a place to explore issues that were on my mind, plot personal progress, identify patterns: Record thoughts so I did not feel the need to “not forget” things that were important to me at the time.
It helped me build resilience and to help stop reacting in the moment to challenges.
Help myself by helping others
Oddly, and not especially a Christmas thing, a focus on identifying the odd simple thing to do for someone else, just for the act of giving is a great tool for recalibrating my thoughts. Often invisible little acts of kindness to others are a great tool to help you feel great.
Exercise
Riding a push bike has proved invaluable for tackling anxiety, the beneficial feelings of exercise are well documented, just get on your bike and DO IT! For me, the habit of exercising was the powerful part and seeing small gains helped develop a sense of ownership of myself.
Sorry old Chap!
Living with anxiety and subsequently implementing strategies to manage it is not easy, but certainly not impossible, One very important step along the way was the capacity to sincerely forgive myself – I buggered loads of stuff up, returned to destructive behaviour patterns, obsessed about the wrong things stopped exercising etc. The shame of failure can feel crippling. Find the strength to let if go and start again. – put simply there is not other way!
Pour me – just one more drink
Said it before – Booze made everything is this context worse for me – I had to keep it under control to make meaningful gains
It may be a challenging Christmas this year for all of us, I hope my experiences can help anyone suffering with their own thoughts- Lets maybe try to be there of others in ways we have not had to in recent years, That is, after all my motivation for writing this article.