My mental health checklist when the world has actually gone crazy this Easter.

Hi Everyone I wanted to write to wish you all a Happy Easter Holidays and to touch on a subject very close to my heart: The Challenges of maintaining good mental health in these Crazy times.

I need to start by underlining the fact that I am not an expert or medically trained but I have some experience of the challenges of maintaining good mental health, having been quite debilitated by mental health problems early in my career.

At its worst, I was in my mid 20's and unable to get out of bed in a given day to clean my teeth. Bad Mental health and coping with life – manifesting itself for me as anxiety and depression became a part of my life from then on. 

I Sought help from a number of channels, some good, some not so much. Now at 41 I have found a basket of coping strategies that have helped take control of my mind. These practical tips keep me cheerful and able to bring value to my family, friends and professional colleagues and even clients!

Why Now?

Our Mental health as individuals is under huge pressure this weekend, Locked down, a diet of bad news on the TV and lack of clarity on what the future looks mixed with a long bank holiday weekend with time to kill. This is a tough time for all of us. I woke up at 3 am today thinking about these things today and felt the need to share my strategies to start to find some positives.

Living with mental health challenges is a daily challenge: Woven into my daily routine are rituals that I really cherish that help keep the negative thought processes at bay. I am no longer owned by poor mental health as long as I remain vigilant I have kept it at bay for many happy years. There can be a path out from very challenging times

My Tips:

Name It! – Churchill called it The Black Dog, oddly in the 80's my Dad called his anxiety “Boris” (No connection) Giving it a name can help to visualise negative thoughts and give you a target to attack. I chose to call my negative feelings Bastartarseholegitfromhell or BAGH for short.

Mornings: For me, early mornings were shittiest time of the day when BAGH would come calling – I would wake up with a start and my mind would race with negative thoughts and fears. I was advised by a therapist that it is far easier to stop these thoughts in their tracks that suppress them when they are in full swing:

She advised – Identify a negative thought – force two positive thoughts in t bombard it. This took practice but it really helped me get my brain stop behaving in a naughty way.

Also, Rather than lying in bed – getting up early and doing something, (Anything) broke the cycle of negative thoughts for me.

Remember – It may be chemical: I understand that the body is woken by the hormone cortisol. It is totally natural and it has been waking people up for millennia. What you may not know about this little bastard is that it is also the main stress hormone in the body – think flight or fight response and all that. Rather than spoil a whole day with stress and panic, Identifying how I felt when this bad boy was surging compared with how I felt, say mid afternoon, helped me to see that there were rhythms of feelings I could identify and own… This gave me a much needed feeling of control over myself. And helps to tackle BAGH.

Write a List. Every day: - One part of tackling the challenges of feeling crappy is to find ways to feel good about yourself. Accomplished tasks is a great way to give little boosts. Anything to get me off my backside staring into space thinking about how BAGH was winning that day. This could be as simple as eat breakfast (At the right time) or clean my teeth. I became a master of writing long easy lists so that, at the end of a day I could read it and think YES! Instead of Oh No!

Find a Hobby (Odder the better in my book) :- I am ashamed to admit it but I tried to teach myself French polishing whilst recovering from BAGH. Over the years I also tried to lean to throw pots at a wheel (disaster), Life drawing in a class, Oil painting, Painting furniture, wristwatch modification (expensive) and cycling (More on this later) and Photography. These Complicated, in the moment, activities offered me moments of peace from BAGH and something to tick off the list. It also gave me something to talk about other than BAGH and people to talk to.

Keep a journal: Negativity proved cyclic – both during a day and over the weeks. I kept a journal of my feelings and it helped me to see those cycles. I would also act in a way I subsequently regretted and would obsess about that. Writing stuff down helped me own those cycles, Strategies that did and did not work, it enable me to document things that felt like failures and then forget about them, they were written down after all. I noted my sleeping and eating habits too. I discovered that I would sleep better if I ate better and vice versa. Sleeping and eating are both great! BAGH – you’re not so clever after all!

Learn how to relax: It may be yoga, watching a film or a Clairol foot spa. For me I managed to get to grips with a bit of mindfulness. I have to say, I never mastered it but I still have the ability to focus on my breathing only and listen to that rhythm. The great thing is that I was able to use is as a holiday from BAGH, even of it was only for 5 mins. As I broke his cycle of negative feelings, I was able to calm myself and control my mind a little. – Alex 1, BAGH 0. (BAGH is, after all, a dick)

Find the joy in the silly and mundane: I have tried to make this a lifestyle choice and I am accused of telling dad jokes a lot but proactively seeking joy in silly stuff keeps me cheerful. I go out of my way to seek this stuff out and share it with everyone. Harmless smiling has got to be a good thing right? I am assuming you don’t end up walking round like some hypnotised cult member with a dazed grin on your face laughing at the moon. That would be a step to far.

Exercise: As a child of the 80s, exercise for me was watching The A-Team on TV. I was a larger kid and never found the Joy in any exercise. I was advised to find something, anything to get me moving and I took up cycling about 15 years ago. Instantly I had a small holiday from BAGH, time to think with a new perspective, a new hobby to obsess over, positive things to think about, items to put on my easy list, (Pump up tyres for example). Finally I was introduced to endorphins. These Bad boys are like chemical crusaders seeking out BAGH and wedgying him wherever he was hiding… Suddenly I had a team to tackle my enemy! Early morning cycling is really lovely and sets a good tone for the day. Last year I cycled with friends from Milan to Venice and it was an amazing journey.

Booze: Drinking made me sad. Overall, taking the drunk moments and the hungover moments into consideration, Drinking made me sad. The more I drunk, the sadder I got. Especially in the mornings. I am no zealot, nor am I proposing abstinence. The above is just a fact for me.

Reach out: Before this post, I have shared my struggles with a few close friends These guys became vital for me to conquer the fight with BAGH. I may have been a terrible bore but it helped to share the struggles. Similarly. I have sought in later years to find a way to support friends going through tough times. People were there for me when I needed them and I feels like the right thing to do to be there for others.

Always finish with good news:

Working through mental health challenges can be tough, it can seem overwhelming, and I ended up having some terrible days. BUT having worked through it I have found myself able to have better and more meaningful relationships with people, be they my team, family, friends or even clients. I feel it have changed my intentions, helped develop empathy. For me I now feel I can bring more value to the people around me as a manager, father, designer and friend. Oddly I am now grateful to BAGH for that, even though he remains an arse that requires constant management!!!

Thanks for reading, I would really like to hear anythings that work for other people who have been through this too.

For further reading on this subject, The books by Steven S Covey were a great help! 

#mentalhealth #coping #strategies #empathy # anxiety #depression