My Mental Health 5-a-day.

When you hear the words “have you had your five-a-day?” what do you think of? I used to ponder the list of vegetables and fruit that I may or may not have had that day.

We’re all taught from a young age to take care of our physical health. But it wasn’t until a momentous series of events, 4 years ago, that I really started to see the importance of balancing and focusing on my mental health.

I lost my Father, Grandfather, Uncle, Mother-in-Law, and my husband’s Grandfather, all within a year. When my father died, my world crumbled into millions of pieces, my eldest was 6 months old at the time and to be honest, I just lived for him and for my husband.

Since then, I’ve had a range of emotions, and there’s days where I’ve attempted to push everyone away or can’t focus. It’s been a really challenging time for me and my family. But little by little, we’re getting there, and I’m getting there, and a big part of that for me is concentrating on keeping my own mental health level.

So, what do I do now to help me balance?

I focus on my Mental Health 5-a-day!

?1 – Exercise Daily

My happy place is on my spin bike, music loud, someone pushing me to my physical limit and that satisfying sweat (Too much?). Yes, I joined the peloton movement and once a week I also do a workout on WhatsApp with a bestie.

But if I am not feeling it, I will do anything from a walk, a potter in the garden, a stretch or a clean. Just getting our bodies moving regularly is associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety across all age groups.

2 – Stress Container Management

We all experience stress daily, but it’s different for each of us. I see my day like a big cooking pot, a mix of ingredients; kids, husband, work, me-time, life admin, world affairs etc. If it’s all getting too much, I think about what I can do to let something out the pot (the stress container!)

I love a list, or a piece of paper separated into 4 boxes in order of prioritisation to help me break it down. But if I really can’t handle the stress in that moment, I distract myself; I go and do something completely different, like eating carbs or watching trash on TV (I am probably the only person in the UK that still watches Home & Away!). There is no point trying to tackle something incredibly stressful if my head’s all over the place. For me, sometimes a moment away to get my head straight, take a break from the issue, and come back to it with a fresh mind is the best way forward (and an episode of Paw Patrol does wonders at a quick distraction for the kids too!)

3 – Using Headspace (the app!)

I have never slept particularly well, and always found that I can’t get to sleep because of the millions of things buzzing around in my head. I will be honest, I was VERY sceptical about listening to Headspace sleepcasts, but they have been a complete game changer. Turn on ‘rainy day antiques’ and I am in deep slumber within minutes. Don’t diss it before you try it! (We are fortunate to have a company-wide subscription! But if you’re looking for a free alternative, the Get Sleepy podcast on Spotify is a great option too!)

4 – Strike a Power Pose

Imposter syndrome is like a bad smell, it hangs around and to shake it off, I adopt a power pose. No joke, I stand up and do a superhero power pose. It was suggested at the Women in Technology event one year, and I love it! It gets me straight in the zone of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

PMA and I are great buddies, when I channel PMA I feel so much better about whatever I am feeling a barrier with. ?

5 – Keep Talking

For someone that is very chatty, I am not very open when it comes to my emotional state.?

As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, sometimes I push people away by not talking about how I am feeling. It got so bad that I was basically a shell that on the outside, I looked like sunny disposition Charlotte, functioning as normal, but inside I was emotionally shattered, and angry at the injustice of losing people I cared so much about.

I grudgingly started seeing a councillor which was a lifeline. Being able to talk to someone who had absolutely no link to or understanding of my life was exactly what I needed. I say grudgingly because I didn’t think it would help. How wrong I was!

Recently, once a week, I also do a voice note update to my group of best friends via WhatsApp. We can all tell if someone isn’t feeling themselves, and it always sparks a conversation… “How are you really feeling?”

I am continually having to work on communication, so I don’t bottle it up and implode. But life is about continuous steppingstones, and I am getting less and less afraid of pressing ‘reset’, putting my hands up to say, ‘I need a timeout.’

So that’s my Mental Health 5-a-day. It can change, it evolves, and sometimes I topple off and grab a gin and tonic. But I try my best to stick to my 5-a-day – for my kids, my husband, my family, my colleagues, but most of all for me.

This blog isn’t about preaching or telling anyone what they should do. What I do hope, is that you take something away that might help you. And I’m always at the end of the phone, online or WhatsApp.

Love Charlotte x ?