MY MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR??? (MY QUIET PLACE 52)

Mr. B had attended a programme I organized for top executives many years ago. You couldn’t possibly have missed him in the class. He was very vocal asking questions and helping others ask and answer at the same time. Sometimes he kept the class going but other times he was just too loud. There is almost always a super-active person in class when you have a sizeable number but his excesses were just that-excessive.

In the course of the class I also had to manage his extremes because not everyone accommodated them whenever he challenged their submissions or tried to impose his own personal idiosyncrasies on them. In all, the class went well and I was glad at the way it turned out. Mr. B ensured he was sitting beside me in ALL the pictures even when we tried to take as many shots from different angles. The photographer got tired when he asked for the tenth or so personal shot with me.

He kept in touch like I asked all participants to but as usual was very extreme calling four or five times a week. It grew worse when I told him I was getting married. He said he would coach me personally without asking. According was an area he expertise and wanted to make sure I didn’t miss it. He bragged that at least that was an area I would learn from him. I politely declined for a myriad of reasons. He didn't take it too badly but said he would always be around me. Mr. B no doubt was a happy fellow but I think the most disturbing thing about him to me was his fast and plenty talking. If you engaged him, he’ll talk ninety percent of the time without letting you contribute or even respond. In fact, it was one of the things that got participants angry in the class when we first met. I was most delighted when he told me regretfully that he was going to miss my wedding. I couldn't imagine the drama he ould bring.

A week after he is calling and texting telling me I needed to come for coaching classes. I respectfully told him I had enough people guiding me but it meant nothing to him. Six months after my wedding the calls just stopped coming. Every passing day I would unconsciously check for a missed call but didn’t find any. After a while I called his office anonymously to make inquiries and was always sure to ask about their MD and they said he was fine. After a year or so of no calls, I just moved on. It was a big relief for me because I always have a problem with people that are garrulous and unconsciously tell myself that all they spew is probably false.

Fast forward ten years later I bump into him in a business conference. He brought a flyer and tried to market real estate to me. The face struck immediately but I was a bit hesitant because he looked emaciated, tired and frail. The person I was looking at even looked very timid and could barely look at me when handing over what he brought to me. Without really waiting for a response, he walked away. The image couldn’t leave me so searched for him using the name on the flyer he gave me to find his organisation’s stand.

I eventually found him and introduced myself to him. I watched his face light up but I noticed he held himself from giving me a warm embrace even though I reached out. I couldn’t hold it anymore, I pulled him to the side and asked what happened to him. He narrated a long story telling me he had hit it big but his wife was evil and made him squander all the money he had. He lost everything he had and became depressed and even suicidal. He said he was just getting himself back and decided to get the marketing job to start life afresh and sustain himself. I asked of his children and he said they all abandoned him with their mother. I watched the pain in his eyes as he narrated his ordeal. I held myself from getting too emotional as he spoke. I gave him my card, some money and told him to call me.

After a long drive home, I’m back in My Quiet Place (a place in my home where I recount the events of the past period). All I’m thinking of is that there would have been point he could have come out without getting to this stage. The thoughts in my head are numerous so I decide to just take a bath and go to bed. Sometimes one manages a situation but other times you just don’t see it coming

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