My mantra, your actions

If last week was dominated by fear and anger, this week is marked by fear and exhaustion.?

We held a Roundtable this week on “Navigating Difficult Conversations’ and our Kunik expert opened the session by saying ‘Brains can’t receive information or process communication when in threat mode’. They also can’t make good decisions when we’re depleted.

On social media, I’m seeing posts of people speaking directly, pointedly, past each other. It would almost read like a bad joke if it weren’t so damaging, dangerous and real. Within 2 minutes of scrolling,? you’ll see someone saying no one is speaking up to defend Israel, someone saying no one is speaking up to defend Palestine, and someone raging against anyone who is saying something connected to “both sides”.

That’s the sort of thing that happens when we’re depleted and in threat mode. It makes it much less likely that we’re going to stop, pause, and process information before reacting. On top of that, social media has led us to believe we can get accurate, real time information in traumatic situations like this. We can’t.

We saw all of these factors play out in real time with the supposed bombing of the hospital in Gaza earlier this week. Reactions and accusations were swift, reassessing and correcting with new information was not. Josh called it the ‘weaponization of media’ and he’s right. It has me thinking a lot about how we communicate within organizations/teams and navigate tense situations like this. Yes, we all need to slow down. But it goes beyond that. We need to do something more difficult. We need to listen - really, actively listen - to views that don’t reinforce our own, and for accurate information. I’ll be the first to say I need to practice. But it’s tough! It means seeking out those views. And if you’re really doing it, it means sitting with uncertainty, which is wildly uncomfortable.?

I wrote last week that we need to talk more. I still believe that. What I should have added is that we need to listen 5x more than we’re speaking, and talk with people who don’t necessarily agree with us. We need to make room for other voices. We need to leave space to process and gather more information before firing off tweets. We also need to be comfortable re-assessing and changing our views in light of new information.?

We’re not going to get this right. There is no one perfect CEO letter, manager check-in, or DEI statement. This is also not a comment and move on situation. Taking care of your people is going to mean doing many different things, for an extended period of time.?

Hopefully, we can learn from each other here. Though I’ve seen very few organizations share what they’re doing so far. I get it. Organizations are fearful of getting it wrong, of not pleasing everyone, and of blowback. But even if we’re not sharing exact words, maybe we can share actions and ideas. Perhaps that’s happening in spaces where I can’t see it. I hope so.?

To that end though, below are the Conversations we’re leading and being asked for right now. I hope they might help you brainstorm your actions + support strategies internally.?

No matter what you’re doing, or thinking about doing, what’s clear is that people want to be heard. And they do not want to feel alone. I think that’s always true, but especially right now. Too many are feeling isolated and ignored. I’d encourage you to think of that first and foremost in whatever you decide to do internally for support.??

A mentor, Kunik expert, and friend, Pete Bowen, always councils us to ‘Seek Wisdom, Practice Love, and Get Results.’ He jokes that it’s a simple approach. I’ve been channeling that a lot lately. Trying to pause before assuming something I’ve read is correct. To extend empathy for opinions I don’t necessarily agree with. Those pillars might be straightforward, but it’s not always easy. I think leading with those pillars would go a long way towards supporting people in organizations right now though - from peers and teammates to managers and senior leaders.?

I’m not a meditator (tried, didn’t stick), but if you’re looking for a mantra, it’s hard to think of something more grounding than “Seek Wisdom, Practice Love” for the current moment. If you have another mantra, or have found another strategy, I’d love to hear it. And if you’re open to it, I’m curious to hear what you’re doing internally right now to support your people. No one has all the answers, but there’s much we can learn together.?

What we’re reading:

• The 5 day work week is dead?
• Why DEI and HR need a divorce?
• A uniquely terrible new DEI policy?
• Evaluating ROI on L+D Initiatives?
• When your boss’s favorite word is ‘No’
• What’s next for Chief Diversity Officers?
• 4 forces fundamentally changing how we work?
• 5 tactics to comedy a culture of false urgency at work?
• The annoying person in your work meeting might be you?
• Employers can’t tell if benefits actually improve the bottom line?
• Flexible work is having a mixed impact on wellbeing + productivity?