My Love-Hate Relationship With Running

I love running. I hate running. Let’s go for a run! Screw going for a run! My relationship with running is truly a love-hate relationship and so I thought today would be a good day to try and figure it out by writing a blog about it, so come join me (or don’t) on this journey into running and me.

I Hate Running

The first time I ever actively ran and realized I hated it was during 7th grade on my first race day for middle school track and field. Leading up to race day we would do normal laps and runs around the school, but they would be with my friends running side by side with me and we’d often go somewhat slowly and just chat. Race day was not the same. I was scheduled to run the 800 meter race, one of the last of the day, and leading up to it I was just lounging on the ground chatting with my friends on the team, but as the race approached I started to fill with dread. My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest and my nerves were all over the place, but I took my place at the starting line and readied myself. Quickly we were off. There’s not really a need to tell you how the race went suffice to say I did not win (not even close). By the end of the race I was dripping in sweat, excessively winded, and generally quite unhappy. I tried a few other options on the team: the long jump, high jump, and sprints. None were my forte. Eventually I settled on the 400 meter run and rode it out for the rest of the season, but I vowed to never run again. Then I joined crew (rowing) in high school…

Little did I know that rowing does not just involve a few laps around the track to warm up during winter conditioning, but it also involved us running 3.5 miles to the boathouse every Monday-Friday. To be fair it was 3.5 miles mostly downhill, but still the requirement to run every day was not a fun prospect for me. Most days I either ran a very light jog or walked the whole way as I chatted and goofed around with my friends. I knew brutal practices were ahead of me so I saw no need to do something I did not like doing. If any of my coaches are reading this, sorry I still worked hard in practice though.

After I graduated I went off to college and made sure I did not run whatsoever and that I only lifted weights, which I liked much better. That is until in the middle of March I was tossed into quarantine just like everyone else when I came back from Spain. In those two weeks I yearned to get outside more than sitting alone in my backyard, even if it meant running, so as soon as my quarantine ended I grabbed a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and my tennis shoes to head into the woods behind my house. My first run lasted about 15 minutes and consisted of about 8 stops to catch my breath and hope to god I made it home. There I could’ve given up, but what else did I have to do during my time stuck at home?

My Running Love Blossoms

The next day of running I tried a more flat path and it went a bit better, but still my lungs were on fire and I made multiple stops. It’s worth noting that my hometown is also very hilly and not exactly easy for running. That did not stop me, however, and I kept running every other day and it got easier and easier to go for runs. Not only did they get easier, but they got longer too. After a couple months I even had to get actual running shoes because my tennis shoes weren’t doing the trick. By this point I actually craved runs and would even go out on a rainy day or in brutally hot temperatures which to be honest completely shocked me. This trend of mine continued for the rest of my quarantine, but I thought it might fade when I got back to school and had stuff to actually do.

Guess what? It didn’t fade. My running was not every other day, but it was still very consistent and I was back to lifting weights as well. A love for running had finally lit up inside of me, but by the time winter break hit it was already starting to fade again. The cold weather and dreary skies had pushed me from going outside and my dislike for running was coming back, but it wasn’t a hatred any more. Then as it stayed cold I began to resist more and more when a friend wanted to go for a run. The hatred was starting to come back, but warmer weather is coming back so maybe it will fade again.

Anyways, it seems that weather affects my love-hate relationship with running, but we’ll see for sure soon. I guess I didn’t learn anything too deep about my relationship with running, but it was a fun journey (at least I hope for you all too)!!