On my list!

Over the last few months, I have developed a running list of “tasks” to complete. Some of these tasks are abstract and related to long-term life goals like owning a house or being able to pay for my kids’ college tuition. Others are more mundane, such as organizing the kitchen cabinets or picking out the perfect throw pillows for the living room couch. At the core, it’s all part of my master plan to “get my life together.”

As I’m sure any recent college graduate can relate, entering the “real world” is a confusing, overwhelming, and exciting stage of life. I consider myself pretty systematic when it comes to life, so my mental list helps me organize the chaos. I’m also prone to placing considerably high expectations on myself, which tends to have the opposite effect on my stress levels. Allow me to explain….

The list appears in my head more as an “accomplishment tracker” rather than a simple list of “to-dos.” Therefore, the more quickly I get things done, the more accomplished I feel… and vice versa. It’s a relatively simple thought process but can get me in trouble if I don’t check myself. We’ve all heard the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Yet, the overachiever in me believes I could. Of course, I couldn’t build the Roman Colosseum in a mere 24 hours… but organize the cabinets, deep clean my car, buy the throw pillows/outdoor rug/kitchen rug/bedroom chair/lamps/bistro set, hang the photos, paint the mirror, learn to invest, understand everything about my new job, become involved and connected to a local church, find a place to serve regularly, make life-long friends, etc…. Sure, all in a day's work.

Before I moved to D.C., one of the first few things on my list was to update my car registration and driver’s license to my new address. Having waited hours in line at the DMV previously, I knew this was something I wanted to get done early before my full-time job started and time became scarce. Spoiler alert… it didn’t happen. Naturally, I didn’t acquire all the necessary documents until about a week ago… then forgot some at home on my first attempt. I’m now sitting in a two-hour-long line two months later, patiently waiting to be called. Life happens!

I will admit, my roommate warned me that the process is a bit longer than I had bargained for. She even chuckled a bit when I first told her my list of “to-dos” my first week after I moved in. It’s a bit ironic that her name is “Grace” because that’s exactly what she’s taught me… grace.

My metaphorical list is quite exhaustive, and the logical part of my brain is well aware that there are some tasks that I just may never accomplish… at least not in the timeline I expected. One of those being a half marathon in September. Sure, if I started training now, I might be able to slide by with an extremely average pace. However, I’m coming to realize that maybe it’s not worth it. Maybe it’s more important to appreciate the process rather than focus so hard on the destination. The view is much better when you recognize the time it took to climb.

I joke a little about my DMV goal; that one was pretty trivial in my head. However, I truly have had to learn the power of the process in a variety of others, primarily relationships. Everyone said that moving to a new city is hard to feel as connected as you were in your quaint college town, but I was determined. I have been incredibly blessed by the people I have met in D.C. and can see a long-term friendship with many of them, but I’ve only been here for two months, so it is still very much a process…. And as Grace would tell me, that’s okay :)

So now, I’m certainly not erasing the list I’ve compiled. Instead, I’m working on finding joy in the process rather than simply the accomplishment. I’m learning to appreciate the people who are helping me “figure it out” rather than pressuring myself to know everything on my own. It really is beautiful to take a step back and allow others to help, knowing that I will one day be able to do the same.