My Lifetime of Caregiving: Tips to Avoid Caregiver Burnout

I believe that an important part of my life’s identity is being a passionate caregiving advocate. As the caregiver for some of the most important people I’ve ever known, including my grandmother, my mother and my sister who all suffered from cancer, as well as my father and father-in-law who were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I feel that this is one of the central parts of my purpose here on Earth. Even today, my caregiving continues for my husband who has CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy, the chronic form of Guillain-Barre Syndrome) and is also receiving treatment for prostate cancer. Having taken on so many roles for my loved ones, I know first-hand how important it is to recognize the meaning of caregiver burnout and take the necessary steps to avoid it.

Make your own well-being a priority

Take time to stop and smell the fresh air – it sounds cliché, but it’s true. We all know how critically important taking care of ourselves is, but many times, we are the last person we ever pay attention to. When caring for a loved one, the situation truly becomes a family affair with each member requiring certain medical and physical needs to be met. While running in one hundred different directions, we must take the necessary steps to calendar ourselves in for our own appointments and even some quiet time, exercise and space to connect with the other special people in our lives. Getting our emotional and social needs met provides us with the fuel to stay strong. I recommend finding some sort of support group or circle of other caregivers in the same boat and connecting to share resources one another has successfully implemented.

 And, what about distractions? Believe it or not: there is a time and place where something we might deem as “unnecessary distraction” can actually help us replenish. Take a few minutes each day to indulge in the simple act of reading a book, watching a television show or finding and engaging in something you’re passionate about like a hobby or side project.

 Also crucially essential to helping us find balance is the formation of a routine daily habit which can help with well-being and appreciating the milestones and achievements that we reach. And, of course, it goes without saying that we should try to appreciate the positive moments mixed in with our days, along with our loved one’s beauty and strengths that shine through any difficulties.

 Follow Debby’s 3 G’s: 

As a caregiver, we share excitement and joy with our loved ones at each little step of progress, but we also don’t discount reality knowing that the journey is long and never easy. This is the perfect time to follow the tried-and-true practice of Debby’s 3 G’s.

Get informed – By now, many of us go into auto-pilot void of all emotions when working with our loved ones and taking them to doctor appointments and receiving at-home checkups. Always find out the complete medical information you need to move forward and make sure to review what’s working and what’s not in terms of the patient’s varying needs.

Get Organized – The simplicity of staying organized is beneficial on so many levels mainly because the information we need to be easy to understand and accessible tends to be just the opposite.  Medical offices mostly work in silos meaning most offer “patient portals”, however, they are not typically connected to one another. Thus, we can drive ourselves crazy having to log-in to each and every system to access what we need. Obtaining a physical copy of all relevant reports to keep in one solid system is essential to being your own best advocate. You can even take your organizing a step further by scanning that info into the cloud within an organized infrastructure (such as, www.digitallifecloud.com) allowing you to access the information 24/7 from anywhere and find it within a moment’s notice.

Get Going – An initial step that is helpful for many is putting meetings and to-do’s into your calendar. Literally writing or typing in a task such as “call Dr. Smith” or “schedule physical therapist” into the agenda can get the ball rolling when you’ve hit a wall. And as mentioned earlier, as we do this, we must remember to calendar things for ourselves so we don’t burn out. Somehow, someway, even when it seems impossible, we need to make our own well-being just as big of a priority.

 I have a simple suggestion that I would like to share with you that has helped me avoid burnout. Take a few minutes to do this exercise and come back to center.

 1.     Draw a circle and visualize a bicycle wheel with the spokes.

2.     Think of all the people you know, including family, friends, business associates, church or temple members, other organizations you’re involved with, your hairdresser, etc.

3.     Think about each of their individual talents.

4.     Write each person’s name and talent on each spoke of the wheel.

5.     When you look at this, you may see that someone loves cooking and would be thrilled to provide dinner for you and your loved one each month. Ask another person just to be a companion and talk and read to your loved one and take that time each month to just schedule a time for yourself.

6.     You will find so many people who are willing to share their time and talent, such as music, exercise, etc. and it will provide joy for your loved one and breaks for you to avoid burnout.

 Very often, people will ask, “What can I do to help”? They can see the results of caregiver stress written on your face. Remember, you need to be very specific and detailed while looking at your wheel and spokes. Take time to let them know that you would love their help in whatever area they have a talent. Then ask if you can put it on the calendar together. This gives the person the satisfaction of doing something meaningful by helping someone else with an easy task while giving the caregiver some much-needed assistance and a quiet break.

 Remember, taking time for yourself and not being afraid to ask for support is a win/win for everyone involved.