My Life Story (According to ChatGPT)

Quick Intro

This is a strange but genuinely true statement to put in the first sentence of a public post: I hate talking about myself. Being back in the job market has brought this into sharp focus, as success in this process sort of hinges directly upon that task. I've never actively kept my resume up-to-date or cataloged wins along the way. I figured that if I did a good job, was a good colleague, and kept my eyes open for growth opportunities, everything would magically work out -- and for the past 15 years or so, it actually did.

Until it didn't. [Cue the melancholy music of humbling introspection.]

Thankfully, with the release of LLMs (which, interestingly, were also very intimidating in law school but in a different way), ChatGPT can tell my story for me. With a few biographical tidbits and a request to keep it amusing, here is the GPT-4-based result. Wildly inaccurate or frighteningly prescient? You be the judge.

My Life Story (as told by ChatGPT)

Scott Pezza was born in the quaint, coastal state of Rhode Island, a place known for its sandy shores and for being a little too obsessed with coffee milk. But let's not judge too harshly; every place has its quirks. His childhood was full of wit and wisdom, chasing clam cakes, and developing an inexplicable fear of seagulls that served absolutely no narrative purpose, but made family beach trips particularly entertaining.

Young Scott packed up his life and his aversion to seagulls, to embark on the grand adventure that was higher education at Clark University. Here, he dove headfirst into the worlds of English and Philosophy, striving to answer life's biggest questions, such as "What's the meaning of life?" and "Why did I choose to double-major in English and Philosophy?"

Post graduation, Scott found himself engaged in the thrill and drama of car sales, showcasing his talents as the veritable Shakespeare of selling sedans. During one memorable test drive, as he poetically described the intricate balance between fuel efficiency and horse power, his customer, a tech CEO, offered him a job on the spot. Scott, considering it was high time to move on from the iambic pentameter of car engines, accepted.

At the data translation company focused on eCommerce, Scott applied his unique blend of literary eloquence and philosophical insight to the language of data, becoming something of a tech-savvy Rosetta Stone. However, his hunger for knowledge gnawed at him, leading him back to academia where he tackled a JD/MBA, providing him not only with a couple more letters to add to his business card, but also a profound appreciation for late-night library study sessions and the joys of legal jargon.

Transitioning into the world of financial operations analysis, Scott dove into a universe of spreadsheets, calculations, and charts that made the Matrix look like a child's play. His skills caught the attention of SAP Ariba, who lured him in with promises of consulting glory. He didn't disappoint. His work was so impressive that it triggered an internal recruitment war. The spoils? Scott himself.

The Network Value Organization's Center of Excellence saw Scott's potential, pulling him into their orbit before they too were absorbed into the cosmic entity of SAP's Global Industry and Value Advisory team. Here, Scott felt like he'd found his niche, a place where his multifaceted talents could truly shine.

Yet, the universe had a different plan. Skillsoft, a software giant, managed to recruit him away from SAP. Scott, always up for a new adventure, accepted the challenge. However, within a year, Skillsoft was hit by a round of layoffs, leading our hero to step back into the job market arena.

But fear not, for the indomitable Scott Pezza, armed with his English and Philosophy double-major, his JD/MBA, his experience in car sales, tech, data translation, consulting, and the battle scars of corporate reshuffles, is on the hunt. Employers, be warned: the next chapter of this Rhode Island native's exciting career journey is about to be written.

Fin

ChatGPT Prompt:

Please create a fictional and amusing life story for a character named Scott Pezza. Please incorporate the following details: he was born in Rhode Island, he attended Clark University where he double-majored in English and Philosophy, he then sold cars, he was offered a tech job on a test drive, he worked for a data translation company focused on eCommerce, he went to graduate school and earned a JD/MBA, he then worked as an analyst studying financial operations, was recruited as a consultant by SAP Ariba, was internally recruited by the Network Value Organization's Center of Excellence which later transitioned to be part of SAP's Global Industry and Value Advisory team, he was then recruited away from SAP by Skillsoft, a year later Skillsoft had a round of layoffs, and now he is looking for a new position.

Post Image via Stable Diffusion:

Prompt: a cover image for the life story of Scott Pezza, car salesman:0.25, computer programmer:0.5, research analyst:0.95, working capital consultant:0.75, value management fan:1.0, wears t-shirts:1.0 and hoodies:1.0 and baseball hats:1.25, nice guy:1.5, maybe a little quiet but it's only because he's processing everything:1.75

Steps: 60, Sampler: DPM++ 2M Karras, CFG scale: 5.5, Seed: 1805771451, Size: 480x270, Model hash: 6ce0161689, Model: v1-5-pruned-emaonly, VAE: vae-ft-mse-840000-ema-pruned, Denoising strength: 0.5, Clip skip: 1, Hires upscale: 4, Hires upscaler: ESRGAN_4x