My Leadership Struggle

As a child, I have always been inquisitive and fortunately, I grew up in a house where it was encouraged to ask questions, explore new ideas, and dream. But more importantly, I was always centered in the idea that we are here to serve whenever and wherever we can. So, at an early age, I’ve looked for opportunities to be helpful if, and when I could.

As I entered middle school, my teachers recognized my appetite for learning and my compassion toward others. So, like my family, they helped guide me on a course to nurture my natural leadership tendencies. As the youngest child, I learned to be a good listener and the importance of timing. Being raised with older brothers, I learned a great deal about the expectation of gender roles. This was important because everyone around me wanted me to be independent. So, while knowing how to cook was important it was just as important that I could change a tire and check my oil. I was never taught to believe that someone would always be around to rescue me.

I was never taught to believe that someone would always be around to rescue me.

The irony is, I’ve spent the past 20 years working at the intersection of helping build bridges so people can rescue themselves. Many times, people ask me, “What keeps you up at night?” My response is usually something like, “I’m concerned about how vulnerable and fragile communities of color are.” It’s been a burden for me, the more that I realized that the economic and social gaps are so wide and they aren’t likely to close in my lifetime. The reality is, most people aren’t even fully aware of the breadth of those gaps.

The global pandemic provided us with an up-close look into the fragility of our communities. Yes, we are resilient and brilliant but we are fragile.?

During the early days of the pandemic, I cringed when my phone rang. I nearly cried when I read most emails and couldn’t stand to watch too much television because what I had been looking at up-close for nearly two decades was magnified. It’s like the ugly secret was everywhere, and at the core of the secret were those without money and power who are often invisible. We’ve done a great job of not seeing them.?

As a leader, I can’t ignore that they exist. I see them and it has gripped my heart and mind in a way that I can’t always articulate. They don’t need me to rescue them but they need to know that they can rescue themselves.

So what's was next? I knew my work had to be very intentional. Why? Because there is no blueprint for living past this pandemic and the damage caused by it requires our best selves to show up everyday. As challenging as the repair process may seem, I believe our values don’t have to change. The same curious eight-year-old Christal that understood that people matter more than anything else is now a leader to leaders.

For the past two decades, after praying, studying, failing, and succeeding, my journey has shaped me in this way. It has not been without the steady hand of amazing mentors like, Kofi Appenteng who saw a path for me that I didn’t immediately recognize for myself. A few weeks ago, he showed me what I had built and become. It’s guidance and advice that leaders need during this season of reimagining the world and our work.

Ask yourself, who needs what I have to offer and how can I best deliver it to them? As a leader during this moment, don’t stumble over the challenges but examine what you have in your toolbox and go to work. I’m looking forward to what I will learn and give during this next season.