My Leadership Journey: A Story of Self-Awareness and Self-Discovery

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; to be kind, but not weak; to be bold, but not a bully; to be thoughtful, but not lazy; to be humble, but not timid; to be proud, but not arrogant; to have humor, but without folly.” —Jim Rohn?

I think we can do better.

At the onset of the pandemic, the company that we established experienced a surge of growth.?

We were so happy, thrilled, and excited it seems nothing could stand or we'll let stand in our way to unimagined success. We were ready, we knew what to do. We were leaders on the rise. Or so I thought.

The Pandemic

The pandemic happened and the world was in disarray. There is no end to describing the havoc COVID-19 is doing to the lives of everyone around the world.?

As a B2B company, we are structured for remote employees. Thus,? there wasn't much to adjust with regard to workplaces due to lockdown restrictions.?

The challenge came when I noticed that productivity was dwindling and then we have a lot of employee turnovers. As a CEO, I know that this is not sustainable in the long run. I have to find some way to retain my employees. Especially those who are showing potential.?

Is it because of the global situation caused by the pandemic like lockdown, economic factors, loss of jobs, mental and emotional state that's causing my employees to resign??

Or is it the company culture or my management style? In all honesty, I wanted it to be the former. I tried to block and avoid the possibility that it could be the latter.?

The Pain of Learning

In all of this, foremost in my mind of course is to continue to grow the business.?

So even though painful it could be, I have to learn and accept that part of the problem lies within my organization. I mustn’t blame it on the pandemic alone. Although it is terribly easy to do so, it would not in the end help me resolve the situation.

I would not presume to proselytize. But I wish to share the process I have undergone that induces me to seek personal leadership development.

The Beginning

Projecting as a strong leader, I sent warnings to the underperforming employees. Thinking it is the best way for them to rise up to the challenge and to improve productivity.

I believe I was fair and justified.??

Nonetheless, the productivity level continues to slide down. And then I have to be true to my word that those who didn't get their acts straight have to be terminated. It was painful to do so.?

Not only because I was losing good employees but because it hits the ego hard when you thought scaring them with dismissal is the right strategy and the solution to the problem. But instead, it hits you right back in the face.

As an up and coming business, there is no shortage of applicants who can fill in the vacancies, however, if this trend continues, it wouldn't speak well about my leadership and ultimately, our company.

Besides, there is a need within me to become a leader in the true sense of the word. To lead by example, to inspire, to motivate. And most of all, like any other people out there, I wanted to be recognized, accepted, and appreciated.??

So I decided to do some soul searching.

Reflection is the heart of any approach to enhancing and sustaining personal and professional effectiveness.?

Effective leadership is not just an ordinary job; it is a complex interaction between a range of professional and personal experiences and qualities.?

At the core of effective leadership is a model of learning that is rooted in personal reflection. To enable and enhance understanding and so inform action.

What am I as a leader? Is This How My Employees See Me?

I asked myself and gave myself honest answers. It was a defining moment, a game-changer. I realized that I only know my employees by their output. I have to dig deeper.?

Again, I endeavored to write letters, but this time, no warning or dismissal, instead I wanted to know more about each individual employee. I asked each and everyone for opinions, suggestions on how we can improve processes within our organization. I made it clear that for us to move positively forward, they should be honest and express their innermost thoughts and feelings without any fear of prejudice. Or their words being held against them in the future. The company even offers rewards for suggestions that will be implemented.

And they responded. Their responses touch the core of my feelings. I commented on and replied personally to each response point for point to show my sincerity and appreciation.?

The Journey

My journey for personal leadership development has officially begun with my employees' valuable and appreciated contributions.

I formulate my personal leadership philosophy with a strong sense of values and principles that are geared towards empathic leadership and understanding.?

Their opinions helped me create the map that guides me to give my best to shape a positive organizational climate.

I realized that before I can help build the character of my employees, I have to strengthen mine first. I have to change how I react to people,? ? and how I react to situations. I opened my eyes wide to why people react to me the way they do.

Self-Discovery and Self-Awareness

The self-discovery that I can be greater than my prejudice, greater than my ego is a healthy and rewarding feeling. The heart of leadership development that works is self-directed learning: intentionally developing or strengthening an aspect of who you want to be or who you are, or both.

I told myself: rise above your ego, be greater than your prejudice, be a servant leader. Building a personal relationship with employees does not make me a weak leader. It makes me a courageous one.

I now possess the courage to reframe my life story in a more coherent way as my future direction becomes in harmony with the knowledge of who and what I was to the kind of leader I want to become.?

Employees feel connected and supported with virtual team building, virtual coffee breaks, a cafeteria channel, and the likes. They feel and know they belong. Proud to say productivity is on a high level and employees are staying, clients’ trust and engagement is on the up.

With confidence and pride, I can say that I am in the state of becoming.