My Last Day....again.

So, I have somewhat tricked you. Sort of. For today isn't actually my last day. In fact, my last day in Leman is next Friday, 4 June 2021. But somewhat serendipitously (if you believe in that clap-trap, which I do not) this day 6 years ago I finished up my last day as a radio show presenter on Spin1038. And then on 8 June 2015 I started in my new (old) career as a solicitor. And now, nearly 6 years to the day back in law, I'm on the move again. But we'll get to that next week.

Anyway, today is one of my favourite days of the year. It's like my new years eve. It's a day where I always look back at my time in radio and reminisce and remember some amazing times. It's a day where I remember to be extremely grateful for all the experiences I had being a radio presenter, and everything it taught me. I started working in radio when I was 16, and it was a constant in my life in some way, shape or form until this day six years ago (when I was 34). Most of the important life moments in those 18 years can be mapped to my radio career and what I was doing. For example, telling Tracy live on air that I had gotten engaged (which nearly made her curse, but she pulled it off) Or McCann Fitzgerald finding out that I was moonlighting as a radio presenter on Spin1038 while doing my training contract, and having to give up the show because of that. I sort of remember those years by what station I was working on or what show I was doing when X, Y or Z happened. I was live on air the day the Twin Towers fell, for example. If you want to bring yourself up to speed, here's some of my previous posts on the topic!

My First Day In Radio

Two Years Ago I Quit Radio

Three Years After I Quit Spin

Four Years Later Now Here We Are

In a way it makes sense that the questions I am now asked the most (as a 40 year old jaded dad of three) about radio are (1) Do I miss radio? (2) Why did I leave? and (3) Do I have any regrets. The short answers (and there's far more detail in the above posts) are (1) I miss being on air, the people and the buzz of it, but not the rest (2) It's complicated, but mostly because it felt like the right thing at the right time for me and my family for lots of reasons, and (3) Nope, zero.

What I miss more than anything is the comradery of being part of a radio team. When I was on pirate radio (we all did it, don't @ me) we hated the other competitor stations. We thought they were all sh!t and we were all amazing. Except for Pulse. Everybody secretly knew that was the real deal. I have been very fortunate to have gotten to know Daragh and Mark over the years, and I never miss an opportunity to moan about the fact they never let me on Pulse. Ass hats. But I digress. Each pirate, and then @Spin1038 when it launched was a like a self-contained startup. Imagine a disrupter tech-startup, but with a microphone and a lot of egos. That's what it was like. I'm not saying this for the sake of galmourising or glorifying our drinking culture (that's a separate blog post) but many's a night I started drinking while still on-air as a pre-cursor to a rowdy night out. It. Was . Awesome.

Some people (not me) had a LOT more fun (sex) than others (me). People sleeping over in the radio stations after a night out and waking up to go straight on air was not uncommon. I really think there is a TV show in it, frankly.

What I'm about to say is not something that Irish people find easy to say. I was good, perhaps very good, at being a radio presenter. For a long time starting out, I had no confidence. I was a shy and quiet kid. Until I was (well into) my 20s public speaking made my physically ill. literally. I would get texts and comments on internet forums saying that I was sh!t (yes, that happens) and it really battered my confidence. But then I reached a tipping point where I was comfortable with saying openly "I'm really good at this". I never stopped learning, and there was always room to improve, obviously, but I was good at it. That's not to say I was everybody's cup of tea, I 100% was not. And that's fine. It's like I always say, I don't like the sound of Ewan McGregor's singing voice, but that doesn't mean it's bad or he doesn't have a good voice, it's just not for me. And that took a long time to get to also. Someone once told me that "you can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time". If you put yourself out there in any way, whether on social media or in any capacity really, please remember that. If someone doesn't like what you do, that's ok. That's not necessarily a reflection on you and whether what you are doing is "good" or "bad". Trying to please everybody is a sure fire, quick and direct route to making yourself miserable.

It's quite hard to describe the feeling of confidence that seeps into other aspects of your life when you know in your gut that you're really good at something that other people think/expect/understand to be very hard. Like most people marvel at the fact I can just turn a microphone on and start talking, but to me that's easy. I love it. I love that it's live, that it's unfiltered, that it's natural. Warts and all, what you say into the microphone is coming out of the speakers and that's it. No way around it.

That fact led to complaints (not that many, to be fair) and one formal written warning (a conversation about graffiti, that resulted in us alluding to "anal" on air) and a few close calls (where I once had someone drop the C-Bomb live on air).

My media career saw me jump out of planes, do a trek through the Desserts of Jordan, interview celebs like Usher, Katie Perry, Lady Gaga and Mr T (I pity the foo'). I broadcast live from red carpet of one of Tom Cruise's London premiers (I can still hear Tracey screaming "TOM TOM TOM" at him to get his attention which, of course, she did.

Of course, today marks not only the anniversary of my last day in radio, but more particularly my last day of Fully Charged with Ryan and Tracy, which was the show I spent most of my career doing. I actually lied a little bit earlier, I guess, I do have some regrets. I wasn't always as 'present' and 'in the moment' as I could have been while doing that show. Not when the mic was live, when the mic is live, you are in the moment, you have to be, the big red light forces you to be. But before and after every show I was always thinking about what we would do next, or caught up in station politics or issues or whatever was going on. I rarely stopped to appreciate how lucky I was, or to enjoy the feeling and buzz of doing a great show. When I listen back to the audio now and think back on what we did for six years, I realise how lucky we were. We laughed. A LOT. There were moments of absolute magic where I've laughed in ways that I haven't laughed before or since. And, of course, I miss that. Who wouldn't, and how couldn't you.

And you may or may not know this, but I'm on the "radio" now, every morning Monday to Friday on an internet station that plays nineties and noughties music, Freedom FM. And that is something I do for free, in my bedroom, on my own for the fun of it. It's quality, and it brings me full circle back to the people who gave me my first break, my first show and my first opportunity. Without them, I would never have had the amazing journey, so nice one to Paul, Aidan and Sean.