My Journey Update #1

Hello Everyone. Thanks so much for reading my posts over the past few weeks. I have been blown away by the engagement people have shared with me publicly and privately. It felt like a huge risk for me as I was worried about if anyone would even find them valuable. I was also concerned that I wouldn't be able to write anything that made sense without spellcheck (spoiler alert that is still true!)

With this new endeavor of posting on social media I also wanted to share about my experience. (My post was too long so I turned the full post into an article if you are interested in reading more)

I am 9 weeks post surgery with my patellar tendon rupture recovery and have been given the green light to start physio. My surgeon felt the repair was strong enough to start the rebuilding of my quad and other muscles. He also said I can go without my brace to start to normalize using the knee. This is/was amazing news but it also was a scary shock!

Some background on the injury:

Have spent 8 weeks with my leg locked straight thinking about protecting the surgical repair at all costs. It was very tough on my family. I couldn’t carry my normal workload of getting the kids out the door to school and daycare. I couldn’t drive or carry anything at all so all normal household chores had to fall to my family. It was tough for me to know that not only was I not contributing like I normally would BUT I also added to my family's workload because I could not do much without help in the first few weeks.

Everyday I would also notice something else I would not be able to do. Like crawl into my son's bed and tell jokes like we did every night or walk my daughter to the bus stop or carry my youngest son (2 years old) when he liked to wrestle. We had a group Halloween planned with another family everyone had a Mario universe costume and now I couldn't go because it was too risky with all the kids running around. It was hard.

There were many days where I was so angry at what happened. Mad at myself for putting my family in this position. I wish I had listened to my body more (I was going to physio for jumpers knee). They didn’t ask for this and now they had to suffer the consequences.

Thankfully my family and friends were incredibly supportive and they didn’t let me stay in a dark place for long. They didn’t blame me and would not let me blame myself. Injuries happen.

Two weeks post surgery I was able to start bending the knee while non weight bearing starting at 30 degrees range of motion (ROM) adding 10 degrees every couple days until I could get to 90 degree bends by week 8. It wasn’t easy and adding those extra degrees each week took trust in my body to keep pushing past the stiffness.

Slowly and surely I was able to add ROM to my knee and build my mental health back up.

Mentally I felt like an observer in my own life. Watching my kids get more independent out of necessity was amazing. I realized how much I love my life and desperately wanted to get that back which fueled my determination to get to the goal of 90 degrees.

Which brings us back to last week. The surgeon said you are "good to go" it was amazing as I had worked so hard to get there. But it was also scary because now I had to get out of "protection mode" almost instantly from my perspective. He said I don’t have to wear the brace at home at all I couldn’t believe it! I thought I would wean off of it or something. After the appointment I was like there is no way I am not wearing the brace! I kept in on that day.

The next morning I woke up and decided to carefully go for out. I went without the brace and stood in the shower (without taking 10 minutes to wrap my brace in a garbage bag). It felt glorious. Then I had my first physio and cycled a modified bike that allows you to pedal with 90 degree ROM. I am literally still in disbelief I did that.

My physio shared that my injury looks like some who are at 6 months. It felt so good to hear that. Not everyone has this type of recovery and my heart goes out to them. I am lucky and feel blessed that I am where I am now. That was Friday.

As I write this on Tuesday I am tearing up reliving some of that journey and all I can say about this emotional journey is appreciate what you have today and take care of any of those aches and pains before they can get bigger. Learn from my experience. Slow down in this crazy stressful life we live and this holiday season that puts so much pressure on everyone and just appreciate the moment the best you can. Message someone, take a risk, feel alive you owe it to yourself.

Cheers,

Jamie