My Journey Starting a New Career in My 40's: "Embracing Change and Transition"

Nearly every coaching call I have these days is about transition. Whether we find ourselves between roles/careers, saying goodbye to people and places, or planning for a radically different 2023 – change is afoot all around us. With the macro and micro forces at play in the world right now, it can feel like we’re standing at a threshold with blindfolds on.??

The question that inevitably arises is - why is transition so hard?

As human beings, we are hardwired to resist change. The amygdala interprets change as a threat and releases hormones that put us in a state of fear. The status quo bias explains the human preference for maintaining a current situation over change – even when we know that change could create a better outcome. Loss aversion is another term that describes how losing something we have is twice as powerful as gaining something we don’t have.??

When we find ourselves in transition, it’s important to recognize we all have a bias against change. But instead of blaming ourselves or others, resisting change, and repressing feelings (all of which contribute to feeling “stuck”), I want to invite you to instead lean into the discomfort that occurs during transition. Why? Because a wealth of opportunity exists in being in a liminal state if we are willing to see it. Liminality is the state of transition between one stage and the next. It can occur between major stages in one's life, career or organization. The concept of liminality was first developed in anthropology. Anthropologist Victor Turner referred to liminality as “the transitional phase experienced by a person during a rite of passage; a process of leaving behind an old identity, and becoming something new.” In Turner’s book ?Forest of Symbols liminality occurs after a rite of passage is initiated but before it is complete. In today’s world liminality is that ambiguous, sometimes untethered feeling of being “in between” two states - roles, phases of a company's growth or even the seasons of life. It’s when previously expected future outcomes are suddenly thrown into the wind.?

As I researched liminality I came across a few ideas that changed the way I thought about transition. The first was the idea from Victor Turner that the liminal zone is a sacred space that occupies sacred time. Due to its impermanence and in-between nature, liminality is a rare moment for reflection and conscious expansion. Ancient cultures have approached rites of passage this way for centuries, treating transitional moments with respect and reverence rather than dread and dismissal. The second idea I came across is Philosopher Karl Jaspers notion that at a societal level, liminal phases are when we ask ourselves radical questions and our "unquestioned grasp on life is loosened". In Forest of Symbols Turner says transitions are marked by “undoing, dissolution, decomposition” and equally “accompanied by growth, transformation and reformulation of old elements in new patterns.” Both Turner and Jaspers agree that both destruction and construction occur inside a liminal state, and therefore ideas that come from these times are of great importance as they usher in net new ways of being.? In Forest of Symbols Turner describes transition as “the realm of primitive hypothesis where there is a certain freedom to juggle with the factors of existence.” What if, instead of experiencing transition as a null state, we lean into the discomfort of change to open a realm of possibilities? By choosing to honor this sacred time, we can more intentionally detach from the known in order for the new and unknown to arise.?

In today’s world, when we find ourselves in these in between moments, many of us panic and feel a false sense of urgency. We rush into the next job or beat ourselves up for not having all the answers. We operate in a scarcity mindset and have all kinds of “if only” thoughts that prevent us from being present to the good that is here now. In this mindset, the idea of taking time off, stepping out of routine or pausing business goals to reorg or build new ways of working seems unproductive or like an extravagance. If any of this resonates with you, pause and remember the liminal space is a sacred time. This is a moment to break apart structures and ways of being in order to more purposefully rebuild our lives, careers and organizations. In this moment, what do you want to create and how do you want to design your most exquisite life?

Given the time of year, I'd be remiss not to reference a culturally relevant example of liminality - the character George Bailey in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. In the film George must step into a liminal state where he was never born (and therefore has no status, no relationships, nothing to structurally separate him from others) in order to understand the value of his life. Upon entering the liminal state George becomes disoriented and panics, but then begins to transform through the experience. As a result of experiencing an abstracted state of reality (where he detaches from known relational structures) George emerges with a deeper understanding and appreciation for his place in the interconnected web of life.

At The Conscious Leadership Group we like to ask ourselves a big question. What if, like George Bailey realizes in “It’s a Wonderful Life”, we could trust that everything that happens is FOR us? What if everything we experience is not just neutral, but a custom ordered curriculum for our highest development as people and as members of our teams and organizations? If you’re unsure of how to action towards this, in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership – the book discusses 3 practical steps for taking 100% responsibility:

1. Stop believing the world shows up the way it should and accept that it shows up the way it does. ?During times of change and transition, trust that whatever shows up is here FOR you, even if there is unexpected adversity and discomfort. Instead of avoiding or repressing fear and sadness, welcome these feelings as intelligence. Sadness is the energy of loss, and lets you know something important wants to be mourned and let go of. Fear invites you to be present because something new wants to be learned. In this moment of transition - what do you need to let go of, and what is your fear inviting you to learn and be present to??
2. Shift from defensive posture and get curious. Instead of righteously holding onto your beliefs during transition, use this time to challenge your beliefs. Instead of “this shouldn’t have happened” ask yourself exactly why this should have happened. Instead of “this change is bad” ask yourself how this change is good. Instead of “why now?” ask yourself why right now is the perfect moment for these changes to occur. Letting go of being right and seeing the opposite of your stories will create an opening and widen your aperture on life so you can begin to create what you really want.
3. What if everything that happens is a custom ordered curriculum for our greatest growth and learning? One of my favorite definitions of leadership we use at The Conscious Leadership Group is “those who are willing to step into the unknown.” As easefully as a tree sheds its leaves during the winter, would you be willing to let go of old ways of being, people and places? While you may not be certain of what the future holds, letting go of things that are no longer in service to you will allow you to appreciate what's here now, and will create space for a new and unknown future to arise. Trust that spring will come with an abundance of new colors and beautiful shapes.?

I want to end this post by sharing that this newsletter is the result of me embracing transition. In 2022 I left a known career path after 20 years, and felt significant loss over leaving an industry that was familiar and comfortable to me. I mourned no longer being a team leader, and missed having the opportunity to impact and influence others. By embracing my liminal state, getting curious and trusting change was here for me, I decided to write about my experiences on LinkedIn. I believed this newsletter might be a different way to lead and serve others. Despite some trepidation I published my first article in July of 2022, and within a few months the newsletter had nearly 2,000 subscribers. With each reaction, comment and DM that has come my way since, I’ve felt more alive and aligned to my purpose. I've met leaders all over the world, built community, and have had many meaningful conversations about consciousness, career fulfillment and purpose. Stepping into this newsletter has shown me a glimpse of my role in the universe, and for that I am grateful. Thank you dear readers, for being part of my journey and allowing me to shift into a new way of being. I can’t wait to see what you create in 2023.?

Follow: @joycechen_coaching (Instagram) and?The Conscious Leadership Group