My journey to becoming a better leader, speaker, and community builder.

This weekend, I am completed a year-long program to become a certified executive coach and I am so grateful. When I first started the Accomplishment Coaching program, I had no idea what I was in for. My co-founder suggested that we do a ‘leadership development program’. Who doesn’t want to be a leader? I said yes. When we walked in, I wanted to run for the door. People were welcoming and open. They hugged. I thought it was weird. ‘I don’t like to be hugged, thank you’, I said to everyone that approached me. A handshake would do. The program started and I never experienced anyone [not in startups or in school or work or family] anyone so open. Alycia James opened the floor and I WAS FLOORED. People do this, ya’ll? Do they just talk about their feelings like this out in the open in front of everyone?

I went up in front of the room and talked about all the goals I had for the year: money, success, recognition, etc. I thought I nailed it. They asked me to leave the program — ‘When you’re ready to open up, come back’. So I came back and slowly started the process of opening up — slowly, week by week. I learned what to say from an honest place. I learned to say what I felt from my heart. I slowly started letting my guard down with friends, family, clients, and my business partner.

I’m clear now to how much I was carrying with me that day. A year ago, I could not be with people’s feelings. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t even stand my own feelings. We’re talking about a girl who is first-generation, grew up in the hood, worked her way up — ivy league, tech, banking, startups, etc. I thought feelings got in the way of progress — that was my motto. So, I repressed them. I was tough. No one could get through me.

Here are some shots of me pitching my first startup, Sola Travelers, at DemoDay. My body language is controlled and guarded.

A year later, I feel all the feelings. I know exactly what’s going on every day and I express it and it’s great. Opening up has allowed me to build an incredible business with Chris. It’s allowed me to quit my job, take risks, create communities, and make meaningful change. Six months into the program, I spoke at what was one of the most important events of my career. The audience cried and laughed. The room was filled with energy. I never would have been able to open people up like that if I wasn’t open myself.

This was me after 6 months of executive coaching and opening up. I was fully expressed, having a great time, and talking about data at 9 am in the morning!

I never would have been able to ask for support, tell people I loved them, or get in a relationship. I never would have been able to take weekends off! I never would have been able to lead an incredible group of founders and executives to fully own who they are — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and love themselves. My clients make changes in the world every day and I am honored to be a part of it.

To my first client ever: thank you for your trust in me. You made me believe in myself. You made me believe that I could do this. Six months later, I can’t even believe we're here. The progress — the commitment — the joy that you have is incredible.

To my business partner: I never thought I could ever love anyone so much and know so much about them. I look back and think we are crazy. How do two co-founders step into something like this? How do they open up at this level and still love each other in the end? You are it. You are my partner, through and through, forever. I love you!

To my friends and family that dealt with all of me: I love you. Thank you for accepting me as I am and supporting every adventure I come up with.

And to the 24 coaches that I spent a year with: I love you endlessly. Thank you for opening me up to myself.

Great leadership — great lives — are open, honest, bold, and FULL OF HEART — and that’s what we’re committed to at uncommonly. Life is short. Live while you can. Love while you can. Give fully and receive all the gratitude. This is not meant to be a feeling-less life. This life is meant to be FELT — the good, the bad, and the ugly, and GREAT!