My Journey After Getting Laid Off; Getting Humble, Getting Inspired.

Let's face it; there is no faster road to humble town than to be laid off. By week three of my unemployment process, my ego was a complete shit show. 

Picture for a moment the meme of the scraggly cat. The cat's fur is all askew, half wet, and looks as if it has just been chased by a few large hounds. The little guy's furry face is half panic and half surrender. That is what week three felt like.  

Panicked. Surrendered. Scraggly cat.

It was around this same time I began questioning my line of work entirely. I had, in part, given up and considered throwing in the towel after 20 years in logistics, and becoming a school teacher. I know you can not actually hear my laughter, but I am laughing hysterically. Sort of. It only took a few short weeks for me to find desperation.

As a matter of point, I would be an utterly terrible school teacher. Thinking of it today, I would think of my classroom more like that school of rock movie than an actual class. I had, at this point, arrived at a completely irrational point in my journey, where I was seeking ways to plug in and be helpful again. Thank goodness it was summer, and there was no need for substitute teachers, or you may have actually seen a school of rock scenario play out somewhere here in Jacksonville.  We would probably just rock out to Boston's hit "Amanda" for hours and practice the timing of the triangle beat at the end of the chorus to perfection.

I did find myself scrutinizing achievements that I was once insanely proud of. I began to judge my own self-worth in comparison to others, and I had deep resentment for letting my guard down and allowing this situation to happen. I felt vulnerable and rejected. I didn't understand why I had been in the market for a job for several weeks but was not getting the response or feedback I thought I deserved. 

It was when I found myself actually talking to University of Virginia college entrance advisers seriously about out of state tuition that I had to come to grips with what was really going on.  

I was being emotionally hijacked by my own vulnerability and ego, and I needed grounding. I needed it immediately, before I packed all of my belongings and headed off to my beautiful home state of Virginia.

Photo by Baim Hanif on Unsplash

I knew the subject of my own education could be sensitive for me personally. It was always a moment I could feel my cheeks flush hot when asked where I went to college.  I am proud of my accomplishment. And yet, I still compare my achievements to others, and it frustrates me.

I put myself through college as a working mother of three. I graduated at the top percentage of my class under an accelerated program, and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, outside of raising other humans. I fought for my degree after 12-hour workdays, after dinner and laundry and bills, and while the kids were running around making the house crazy.  Yet, I still scrutinized this accomplishment.

I am the only person in my family to graduate from college. My mother was a waitress her entire life. Her expectations of college were very different than my own. Her father groomed only the boys for college; women were groomed only for husbands.  

My father dropped out of high school. He owns a successful construction business today, but not having a diploma always bothered him, and it challenges him as an entrepreneur every day. He pushed me to pursue college, and I feel his pride in what successes I have earned from this guidance. And yet, I scrutinized my accomplishment.

Having a college degree has a deep-rooted meaning for me about breaking generational cycles that continues in my drive and passion for success today. This was all the emotional baggage that I needed to hijack my own reality and send better judgment off on a trip to the island of self-doubt. I was so very hard on myself.

Each of us will bring our own self-pride and vulnerabilities that will be exasperated by the unemployment process. That was mine. It sucked. The key is to remain grounded, and focus on what makes you better, brighter, and stronger, and move swiftly in that direction. Find your kryptonite to the ugly thoughts and keep them temporary.  

A huge part of me wanted to skip this whole step of my journey. It would have been so easy to jump right over the messy pieces. I realized, this place where I encountered the messy self-criticism, that is where all of my determination stemmed from. I was resolute to prove myself wrong of every negative thought. I needed to move forward, and it was the messy parts that fueled that fire.

Photo by Katrina on Unsplash

For me, personally, moving forward most certainly meant learning. When I feel low, I open a book to become inspired. I surround myself with thoughts that bring about a positive spirit and knowledge that help me think bigger, brighter, and stronger. Thankfully, I found great resources, and I spent the next several weeks, becoming inspired by world-renowned teachers and thinkers, business leaders, and friends. If you happen to find yourself looking for your own kryptonite, explore these creative tools, courses, career development, and coaching resources that I loved.

1. Open Culture: Access classes from UC Berkeley, Oxford, Ohio State, MIT, Penn State, Carnegie Mellon, or NYU, free of charge, Open Culture allows you to download class materials and drop in on classes live. Check it out and enjoy college for free!

2. LinkedIn LEARNING is available with a premium LinkedIn subscription. Courses are offered on career development, customer service, human resources, sales and marketing to Photoshop, photography, graphic design, java, excel, Amazon, and much more. Courses also offer a certificate of completion that can be printed as well as posted on your LinkedIn profile.

3. EdX: You can participate in any course offered by for free. These are full online courses by Harvard, Berkeley, MIT, and Boston University, to name a few. Subjects, including business management, supply chain, project management, marketing, and leadership. No certificates are issued for the free version, but the knowledge is there! (Participate in any course for free by choosing Audit course) 

4. Khan Academy is a fantastic resource for individuals where a degree may be out of reach, but an internet connection and a commitment to the goal exists. Or for those feeling like college was long ago and they want a refresher.

5. Udemy: By far, one of the most comprehensive resources available was Udemy. Offering over 35,000 subjects, from music to photography and business to fitness. Courses range from free to about two hundred dollars. The classes are a few hours to several week-long courses.