My Inner Critic Is A Real B*tch

“You suck at that”

“Oh my gosh you look so ugly”

“Wow you really messed up”

“Don’t do that, everyone is going to think you’re weird”

I don’t know about you, but my inner-critic can be a real b*tch sometimes. Just bringing negativity every day. I’ve struggled with it for YEARS. I started to believe all my doubts and let my inner-critic keep me from being myself. It wasn’t until I went to counseling that I realized “hey, maybe my inner critic can work in my favor.”

It was a process to take the power away from the negative voice in the back of my head but I figured out how to listen and let go of those criticisms and channel my doubts and insecurities into game-changers.

Think About When Your Inner Critic Is Loudest.

Becoming mindful of when your inner-critic likes to make their appearance and what may be triggering them to come out.

It’s all about being intentional and making the effort to move forward with your day despite the doubt. Your inner voice has only the power you give it.

Hate to break it to you, but your inner-critic is going to be there every step of the way through your journey of self-acceptance.

Make peace with your inner critic, but don’t give it the satisfaction of derailing your life.

Here are 4 ways to silence your inner critic:

1. Meditate

The NUMBER ONE thing that has helped me is leaning into a meditation practice. I do it first thing in the morning for about 15 minutes and it not only sets my day up for success, but it has allowed me to get some space from my inner critic.

Meditation has shown me how to recognize each voice for what it is. Do I sometimes feel like a crazy person as I have arguments with my inner critic in my head? You betcha. Just the other day my critic was trying to tell me that I was failing in every aspect of my work. The critic showed up, but I was able to silence her within a few minutes. I could recognize her voice as destructive and unhelpful because I knew she wasn’t ME.

2. Do Something Different

Have you stared at the same work for too long? Does it feel like you’re making no progress? Do you want to give up?

You are ALREADY a success just by showing up. Now, we all experience blocks and feelings of failure, and those moments are the ones when the critic shows up. So, here are a few things to try next:

• Walk away. Seriously, stop looking at your work. Go outside. Take a walk. Read a book. Stop and smell the flowers (literally). Just because you’re not actively working doesn’t mean you’re not participating in the process (workaholics, looking at you here). A change of scenery can stop the critic in their tracks.
• Practice gratitude. Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for. It can be anything. (i.e. the other day I literally walked outside and was grateful for the sun shining). Find 10 things you appreciate and write them down. Do this any time your critic tries to take you down. Pretty soon you will have a wall of appreciation that you can reference any time.
• Try a brain dump or word map. Maybe you’re too deep in your own head. Try getting all the things you’re thinking about out onto paper (yes, real paper). Look for patterns or clues that there is something leading you in a direction that you might not have seen before.

3. Exercise

There is a statistic (that’s I’m probably going to butcher here, but go with me) that something like 90% of the top-performing athletes/business people/creatives exercises at least 6 days a week. Six! Are you moving your body or have you been sitting in the same chair for so long that you can’t feel your legs (*raises hand* been there).

• GET. UP. Go and move your body. Better yet, start your day with exercise. Studies show that exercise boosts both your creativity and your productivity…and who doesn’t want more of both of those things.

“But I don’t like to work out. Here’s some tough love: GET OVER YOURSELF.

I’m not saying that you should go run 5 miles if you hate running, but find something that you like to do and then PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR. Seriously. Schedule it in or you’ll never “find the time” to do it.

If there’s one thing I could tell you to try first when you’re feeling stuck, it’s this one. I ALWAYS feel refreshed, inspired, and full of new ideas after getting my blood pumping. Get moving!

4. Work Before You Consume

Are you one of those people who checks their phone immediately after waking up? Stop that right now.

Unless you are expecting urgent communication about your business/family/health/life, everything else can wait. NO ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN ACTUALLY NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW. It’s true. DO NOT Facebook. DO NOT open Instagram. Don’t even read/watch the news. All these things, while entertaining, can suck the creative life right out of you before you even begin.

Instead, pour all the energy you just made while you were sleeping into YOUR OWN work before you’re influenced (consciously or not) by the outside world. It keeps the critic at bay by raising the “comparison bar”: you know the one. The one that shows up when you just looked at someone else’s work before you started making your own. The critic starts in with comments like “They are so much better than you” or “Their work has meaning". That’s when the bar gets low and your critic can reach right up and pull you down. Keep that “comparison bar” high, out of your critic’s reach.

A few other tricks:

• Set up the “screentime” function on your phone.? I set my limit for 2 hours/day, between 9 am and 11 am and I also set my limit to 15 minutes at a time. This window works for me because I tend to post work to Instagram during this window. I can engage with people and maybe do a five-minute scroll, and then I can shut it off. The other thing it does is that after your time is “up” (again, for me, 15 minutes), it overlays your screen with a notification so that you have to actively choose to keep scrolling. I’m telling you, once that overlay pops up, I’m out.
• Schedule your projects! Ever get started for your day and just find yourself stuck or just overwhelmed? Like you don’t know where to begin or looking to gain some “inspiration” to get you going. This habit is not helping you. Take the time to think through your work. Another trick is to reverse engineer your projects. Figure out the end result, then, work backward, planning out all the smaller steps you will need to take to get there. I just keep a simple Google calendar with all of my projects in it scheduled by day, but Basecamp and Asana are also both great.? No scrolling. No excuses. No critic.

I hope that was helpful! Do you have any other tips for silencing that critic? If so, leave them in the comments below so other people can find them.

Until Next Time, Melanie

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