My Husband Doesn't Satisfy Me Sexually Anymore (When Your Husband's Sex Drive Is Gone)

My husband doesn't satisfy me sexually anymore - When your husband's sex drive is gone.

As women we often shoulder the task of taking care of everyone in the family. We tend to the children and ensure that they are living happy, healthy lives and we do the same with our husbands. If anything goes amiss we want to be the ones who fix the problem, but there are times when we have to take a step back and instead of being the problem solver, we have to take on the role of a supportive family member. If your husband has low libido you may feel the desire to take the responsibility for that onto your shoulders. Doing this will not only hinder finding a solution but it may also make the problem even worse.

Many women jump to an incorrect conclusion when their husband has lost his desire for intimacy. They blame themselves. They look in the mirror and they see a woman who is a bit heavier than she was on her wedding day and there are a few more wrinkles where there used to be smooth skin. If your husband has low libido you need to fully understand that it has nothing to do with the way you look. Men don't lose their drive for intimacy because their wives have gained a few pounds. Men realize that they too look much different than when they were the groom on that wedding day years ago. A woman can do herself and her husband a favor by not asking him if he's not attracted to her. This will usually only cause him to feel even more distant and the problem only worsens.

If your husband is an avid smoker this is something that may be related to his declining interest in being intimate. This is particularly true for men who are getting older. It's a great idea to approach your husband in a non-threatening way and discuss the smoking issue. If your husband has low libido, do not mention the smoking in relation to that. You don't want him feeling the added pressure of thinking he has to perform intimately once he starts cutting back on cigarettes. Instead be honest and tell him that you are worried about his health. Explain the benefits of stopping smoking and how it will not only ensure he lives longer but it also ensures your children have a father for longer.

Many families share the duty of planning and cooking meals. The type of food consumed is really important if your husband has low libido. You want to try and limit the amount of fats and carbohydrates that he's consuming. If you do feel that you could use a few pounds, why not start a new healthy eating plan for the entire family? Cook up some fresh vegetables, fish or chicken and round the meal off with some whole grain pasta and bread. It will help with his libido and it will also help you get back into your skinny jeans.

Find out how to get your spouse to go crazy head over heels for you and desire you in a way you have never experienced! You will be amazed at how good it feels to have your spouse's attention and affection again - Learn More Here

Overcoming Blocks to Sexual Self-Expression

Are you able to fully express yourself sexually in your marriage?

As a couples therapist, I've heard many stories from couples involving conflicts over sex; conflicts resulting in the inhibition of sexual desire and expression. There are many factors that can impact sexual expressiveness-a passionless/sexless marriage can be the result of:

An underlying physical condition (that negatively impacts one's libido);

Psychological/emotional issues (that negatively impact one's libido);

The particular circumstances of one's marriage;

Or some combination of the above.

And to complicate matters even further, the fact is that many couples often have libidos that aren't in sync, with one partner desiring more frequent sex than the other.

This issue (sexual incompatibility around frequency) requires skillful communication, acceptance of inherent differences, and the ability to negotiate and compromise for the sake of the marriage.

Let's now turn our attention to a particular psychological/emotional issue that can dramatically impact your sexuality and sexual satisfaction.

The Suppression of Your Sexual Self (and the Strangulation of Sexual Desire)

Throughout our lives we are inundated with messages about sex, sexuality and sexual desire. These messages give shape to our conscious values, preferences and choices about sex. And some of these messages also seep deep into our unconscious minds where they direct our sexual experiences from behind the veil of awareness. It is our unconscious attitudes (and conflicts) about sex that often have the most pronounced and lasting affect on our sexual experiences.

One of the earliest and most powerful internalized messages is that sexual desire and behavior (such as masturbation) are private events that should not be allowed free expression whenever the impulse arises. These are powerful lessons we all learn at an early age: The norms regarding sex and sexuality, what is considered appropriate/inappropriate, private-public, as well as the discovery of how our behavior impacts others (respecting the space and boundaries of others; considering the feelings of another).

So from an early age the lesson is clear: Our sexual-self must be contained and controlled, with liberation allowed only under certain circumstances (if ever).

When Messages of Privacy Morph into Messages of Wrong-doing

"Growing up in my family, I never received the straightforward message that sex or exploration of my body was acceptable but should remain private out of respect for others. Instead, I felt my mother's anxiety and my father's disdain when they found out I was masturbating. Above and beyond what they said, their emotional reactions sent the message that I should be ashamed because I was being vulgar... " ~ Carlos (describing his parents' reactions to his emerging sexuality as a teen)

It is not always easy to convey the message to a child about why certain behaviors and experiences should remain private matters. And too often when a child perceives that his/her experiences (such as sexual arousal) or behaviors (exploration of one's body) are making others uncomfortable, the offending experiences become cloaked in shame and are forced to go underground-we begin to hide these experiences from others and slowly turn away and deny our own feelings and impulses. Our desires feel wrong and shameful.

In short, secrecy replaces privacy.

The result is that our sexual-self and desires are not fully and seamlessly integrated into our overall identities where they are allowed full expression. Rather, we become estranged from the vibrancy of this part of our self; we become sexually self-conscious and tentative about our deepest impulses and longings. Sexual fulfillment suffers, as does the emotional intimacy that accompanies a rich sex life.

This is why sexual intimacy has the potential to be so emotionally healing for couples when full expression of your sexual-self meets with full acceptance by your partner/spouse. And, conversely, this is also why sex is often a potential battleground for so many couples. In these instances, rejection or judgment painfully reaffirms what was learned long ago: What you desire is somehow wrong and should be kept hidden, a secret buried deep within the recesses of your mind.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now. To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your spouse loves and adores you more than they ever has before, visit this Helpful Site.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.