My Hapiness Project - July - Money- or Can money really buy happiness?

Money - one of the three key areas I was told not to talk about around the dinner table that also included religion and politics - made up the focus of my Happiness Project for July. The intention was to delve deep into the question of can money buy happiness?

Money is an integral part of life - we worry about it, often want more of it and use it daily but rarely talk about it. Even when you look at job advertisements, not all of them note a salary band as if to make sure you really want the job before applying (and it's not just about the money). But what if it is? Is that ok? Does that make you a bad person for wanting to be paid what your worth…

?Job advertisements aside, this motnh gave me a lot to contemplate and think about.

Gretchen decided to explore this concept by indulging in a modest buying splurge and seeing if it made her happy.

Now before I dive into my reflections on this topic I should note that I am aware of my privilege to be in the position to explore this topic. I know there are many people out there where money is a constant struggle, worry, anxiety-inducing burden. I am priveledged and lucky to not be in that position through a number of factors not all related to me and my decisions. Money is right near the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It brings safety. Without it all can be lost.

So let me check my privilege and encourage you to form your own opinion based on your own experience and circumstances - these are just mine.

Getting back to Gretchen, she bought something she had wanted for a long time and it did bring her happiness. I can't imagine that many people would disagree that if you really want something and then get it, you usually are happy for it, but there are some caveats we need to be aware of.

If money is to enhance happiness, it must support aspects of life that bring happiness to you.

This is different to using shopping as a coping mechanism or using experiences you buy to escape the problems you are facing. Cause money can surely give you those too. But if you are in a position where you can (and I'm just checking in that privilege once again), you could tactically use money to increase your happiness.

My splurge was to buy a new and larger bed. This was something that my husband and I had talked about for a while and every person I talked to that had in the recent past upgraded their bed told me it was worth every penny (as they say). It was a hefty sum but was it worth it - yes.

Do I get up most mornings and say I love you bed - yes I most certainly do.

But you might say to me - Zoe, that's not money buying happiness, that's the comfort of a King size bed and the power of better sleep that is making you happy - and in a way you are right, but it is the money that unlocks the opportunity for future happiness.

The disassembly of the old bed was another memory making opportunity with Master A using his own tools for the dismantling

Rubin also differentiated between underbuyers and overbuyers. Underbuyers are people who only buy when they need something, while overbuyers fill their house with things that they often end up throwing away. When I reflected on this I found I was sometimes one and sometimes the other.

For instance with groceries I follow the just in time delivery train of thought (at the exhasperation of my husband). I often won't order things until they run out and even then it will only be if I need it immediately. On the flipside for furnishings in my house I often find items that I may not know exactly where they will go but buy them anyway to see if they fit/belong. If not they often get sold on or given to someone else. I'm sure there is a happy medium that I'm looking to adjust to (just don't talk about this with my husband who begrudgingly supporting my purchase of an upright piano recently!).

Similarly, Rubin also differentiates between spenders and keepers. Spenders enjoy what they buy often immediately and at haste, while keepers aim to keep objects for the distant future. These concepts are not only relevant to money but also ideas. Rubin admits she used to be an idea keeper. She would have valuable ideas and save them for the future. However, she learned it is better to spend your ideas and trust your ability.

Money wise there is also a happy medium to find between instant gratification and saving for a rainy day. When I brought this topic up with a friend of mine she shared a lovely story about her Grandmother's cups

My Grandmother had these lovely cups we would use when I visited her that we would drink tea from. When she passed away they were given to me. Today I often see my daughter making tea and drinking out of one of these special cups. Because of the use, I know it's likely one day the cups will be gone, broken from the many cups of tea enjoyed within them. But I'll also have the new memory entwined of my daughter and my grandmother connected through the cups.

?What really struck me about her story was the idea of tying new meaning and stories to important objects. From my past experience of this project to get the most happiness out of any moment we need to anticipate it, cherish it, share it and relive it. This is another way to cherish, share and relive.

So to me the answer to the question of can money buy happiness is yes, but with some caveats. If you are mindful, thoughtful and deliberate it can help you on your way.

I'd be really interested in your thoughts and comments if you have them!?