My guide to 1:1s - Part 1

I must confess - I love 1:1 meetings. Yep, to the point that I enjoy them, both the ones with my direct manager and with my direct reports. It wasn't always the case, though. In some of my previous workplaces, it was yet another transactional weekly meeting to discuss tasks, activities, and projects.?

These days, 1:1s are my holy grail of leadership, and I consider them one of my most important leadership tools. Why is that? And how to do it well? Continue to read to find out.

Are you sure you’re using that 1:1 time wisely?

I’ve seen many managers use 1:1s to check about last week’s tasks, discuss a project timeline, and cover daily activities. Do you need a 1:1 for that? Everybody’s time is precious. That’s why I treat my 1:1s as strategic development meetings. It helps both sides improve and develop their personal and professional capabilities.??

My 1:1 meetings are not another meeting to check off my list; They are rare opportunities - when I, as a leader, can invest quality time with my team members.?

And what do I do with that time?

Here are the main reasons I find 1:1s so sacred:

• 1:1 is an excellent opportunity to build trust and rapport; It’s a personal meeting. Over time, it allows both sides to know each other on a deeper level and build authentic relationships based on respect and trust. During these meetings, you open up to each other, which makes your relationship more than just a manager-direct report relationship.?
• It’s when I give strategic feedback; My focus is on behavioral feedback, not task-oriented or project-oriented feedback. It must be constructive, transparent, direct, and with examples. It explains the desired outcome and the benefits of it to the other side.
• It’s when I coach my team members; I see their challenges, help them reflect, and understand better what they want to improve and what they are proud of. It’s when I help them figure out (themselves!) how to handle a tough situation and challenge them in a way that will help them grow as humans and professionals.?
• It’s when I ask for feedback; if done right, they WILL provide an honest one, and if you, as a leader, listen carefully without defensiveness, you will learn about your weaknesses and can build your plan for self-improvement.
• It’s my opportunity to increase productivity; When we listen to feedback and are willing to be coached, then over time, we become better people and professionals. The better we become, the more productive and sharp we are.
• It helps me increase morale; You want to do more for the team, your manager, and your company when your happiness and morale levels are high. 1:1s gives you the feeling that:?1. You are being coached,?2. You can provide honest and fearless feedback to your manager,?3. The other side cares about you.

The higher your morale, the more you care about your work.

So, how do you achieve all of that?

If you are a leader, consider these three building blocks for having a successful 1:1. Without them, your 1:1 will be either transactional or not valuable and miss its entire purpose.

The first is psychological safety. 1:1 should be transparent and honest; And yes, it can also be emotional. Your employee needs to feel and know that whatever they share during their 1:1 won’t be used against them. We, as leaders, want our employees to be transparent with us and give us feedback, even if it’s hard. Honest feedback about the company and us can help us improve and solve problems that impact the business. Employees must feel safe to be courageous enough to share feedback with their manager.

The second one is to be open to feedback. It’s one thing for an employee to feel they can share feedback. It’s another thing for us to take it in, and, if relevant, do something about it. Hearing feedback especially points to improve, is hard. Humans tend to raise their emotional shields, which can be translated into defensiveness. To create rapport and lead by example, we must be open to receiving feedback, even if it’s negative and hard to hear. If your employee feels you are not open to it, and there’s no value in giving it, they will stop providing it.

The third and last one is to take the time to prepare to your 1:1. Sometimes, I hear managers saying that their 1:1 is a waste of time being forced by the organization or that they never prepare for it because they are too busy.?

If you don’t prepare for the 1:1 or don’t allow your team members the time to prepare, you send them a message that the meeting is unimportant or that they are not important to you. This message is one of the main contributors to low morale and low productivity.

We, as leaders, are successful only if our team is. Our team is precious; thanks to them, we meet our goals. We might be the ones to build the vision, but our team is the one that executes and improves it.?

We must give them the time to prepare for their 1:1, and, more importantly, we must block time to organize our thoughts, feedback, and coaching goals for each team member we lead.

TO BE CONTINUED:

In part 2 we will talk about the frequency and length of 1:1s, how to prepare for them, and the format that works for me.