Be My Guest
Greetings!
‘BE MY GUEST’ is the composition of a data collected from a survey I conducted on the 18th of July, 2018.
And unlike my previous surveys that I allowed just anybody to inbox me with their stories (whereby I could not tell whether or not their Facebook accounts were authentic, whether or not their stories were true) I made an intentional effort this time round to contact 99 random people from my over 30,000+ friends and followers, plus (+) One (1 = Myself), making 100 of us, to HONESTLY answer this ONE question:
“WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU WANT TO STAY IN LOVE WITH JUST ONE PERSON, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE – AND BE CONTENT, ONLY WITH HIM OR HER?”
This is the breakdown of the statistics about the 100 samples:
Men: 50
- Their ages ranges from 25 years to 65 years
- 44 out of that 50 are gainfully employed
- Three (3) are unemployed
- Two (2) are University students
- One (1) is on retirement
Sexual Orientation:
- 46 out of the 50 are Heterosexuals (Straight Men: They like/love/sleep with only Women)
- Two (2) are Bisexuals (They like/love/sleep with both Men and Women)
- Two (2) are Gays (They like/love/sleep with only Men)
Religious Backgrounds:
- 38 out of the 50 are Christians (In fact, one Pastor and two Bishops willingly participated in the survey)
- 10 are Muslims
- One (1) Hindu
- One (1) does not fit himself into any religion
Relationship Status:
- 37 out of the 50 have been married for over Three (3+) years
- Nine (9) are in committed relationships
- Two (2) are single
- One (1) is a widower
- One (1) is divorced
Those currently cheating:
- 32 out of the 37 married men are cheating on their wives.
- Three (3) have remained faithful only to their wives and are so far, content.
- Two (2) are partially faithful (In the sense that, they have been contemplating on, someday sooner than later, looking outside of their marriage for respect/comfort/attention/sex/peace of mind/adventure from other women. They want to taste something ‘New’ and different.)
- Six (6) out of the 9 in committed relationships are cheating on their girlfriends
- Two (2) have been faithful to their girlfriends
- One (1) is partially faithful (contemplating on taking an adventure)
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Women: 50
- Their ages ranges from 24 years to 70 years
- 40 out of that 50 are gainfully employed
- Four (4) are unemployed
- Three (3) are University students
- Two (2) are stay-at-home AsafoMaames (Wives of Pastors)
- One (1) is on retirement
Sexual Orientation:
- 48 out of the 50 are Heterosexuals (Straight Women: They like/love/sleep with only Men)
- One (1) is Bisexual (She likes/loves/sleeps with both Women and Men)
- One (1) is a Lesbian (She likes/loves/sleeps with only Women)
Religious Backgrounds:
- 46 out of the 50 are Christians
- Three (3) are Muslims
- One (1) doesn’t associate herself with any religion.
Relationship Status:
- 39 out of the 50 have been married for over Two (2+) years
- Six (6) are in committed relationships
- Three (3) are single
- One (1) is a widow
- One (1) is divorced
Those currently cheating:
- 17 out of the 39 married women are cheating on their husbands.
- 22 have remained faithful to only their husbands
- Three (3) are partially faithful (In the sense that, they have been contemplating on, someday sooner than later, looking outside of their marriage for respect/comfort/attention/compatibility/love/sex/peace of mind/help from other men.)
- Two (2) out of the 6 in committed relationships are cheating on their boyfriends
- Three (3) have been faithful to their boyfriends
- One (1) is partially faithful (contemplating on keeping an extra alternative for a rainy day)
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Survey Question Again:
“WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU WANT TO STAY IN LOVE WITH JUST ONE PERSON, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE – AND BE CONTENT, ONLY WITH HIM OR HER?”
Collated Responses:
From the survey, Five (5%) percent of the people are single, and for them, LOVE is just an IDEA for now. It is their dream to be happily dating, and if possible, married to the men or women of their dreams. They desire to experience an amazing relationship – right from the start and would expect it to mature into something even better and beautiful, every day of their lives together with their respective partners. To them, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Everything should feel electrifying and fresh, and in their eyes, their spouses could do no wrong, because they feel they are or would be that perfect enough for them.
And so for this category, I dedicated the first 00:00 to 00:08 seconds of ‘BE MY GUEST’ to them.
Seven (7%) percent of the sample believe they would love and commit to, and be content only with one person in a relationship or marriage, even after the dust has settled, provided the man or woman they’re that much into is the one that brings out the SMILE in them, just at the thought of them. To them, it’s entirely their responsibility to take their relationships from the make-believe, everything is-so picture-perfect stage, and chief their beloveds to a deeper, more long-term love attraction, because they genuinely make them feel HAPPY. Two (2) people from this category have been happily married for over 10 years and are doing any and everything to make their marriages work, because their spouses EXCITE them.
The first part of the first verse of the song, from 00:08 to 00:39 minutes, is committed to these folks.
The next category which forms Nine (9%) percent of the data, love with, or in their deeds. Of course, they know life does happen to all of us when we are in love. And that, someone has got to work to pay the bills, and also, take very good care of the family/home. So, these men and women choose to work extra harder to provide for their wives/husbands and kids. And this in a way takes a chunk of their time away from their loved ones. Some, even would have to take their work home. In their minds, they’re doing all they can to make life and the future very comfortable for their loved ones and themselves. Their hearts beats in panic whenever the financial strain seems to become unbearable, especially when they feel like they are failing the home.
00:39 to 1:10 minutes is devoted to this group.
However, it doesn’t just stop there. People are cheating in this category. From the point of view of some of the women and men, their partners are putting work before them, and they kind-of, feel ignored, unloved, and alone. According to them, it’s like, everything else is important to their significant others than they (their beloveds) are or should be to them. And, some of these men and women fail to notice how unhappy their spouses are.
So, they in turn are cheating with people who make time for them: People who see and hear them.
People who put their needs first in their lives, even if they’re faking to appreciate them, these side chicks and cocks put their needs first. The side attractions aren’t sacrificing themselves to please them, no! They are just making the effort to take their feelings into consideration, and are doing what is essential to make them feel the way they want to feel in a relationship or marriage.
From 1:42 to 2:14 minutes of ‘BE MY GUEST’ 19% (17 men and 2 ladies) of the sample are of the view that, the two parties in the relationship/marriage ought to hold on to their independence and also to the lives they both have outside of their relationships/marriages, as well as the one they are building together with their beloveds. They believe this grant of ‘space’ and ‘freedom’ in the relationship/marriage, in a way, would pull them closer.
The men in this group claim – they will feel loved, relaxed and would eventually be opening up more if they are allowed to breathe in their individuality. They don’t want you in their face all the time. They don’t want to be hearing only your voice all the time. They don’t want to be responding to only your messages all the time on the phone. They hate it when you think you should have access to their phone/laptop/Facebook passwords (simply because they are building a relationship/family/life with you). They want some hours/days out without you in it, but with the knowledge of you at heart.
They say the unnecessary fighting and arguing would reduce/stop if you can willingly give them their space without letting them feel bad about it, or you feeling insecure. The two women in favor of this ‘space’ agenda also claim, the sex would be rich and plentiful if you guys could help with the house chores, and also, with the kids – so they (women) can feel relieved and free to breathe and concentrate on themselves for a change every now and then. Our ladies are saying, their nurturing womanly oomph/drive would also flow for you to be pleased with them – if you can understand their request.
If you are not giving your partner in this category his/her breathing space, then they may be finding ‘peace’ in other places/people. Some are cheating in this category. And they are cheating graciously (using the excuse of excessive work-load as a bailout)
We all have friends, and the very few people we call our friends. We do not sleep with everyone in our friend-categories. That’s the most important difference between your relationship with your partner and your relationship with everyone else in life. You have SEX with your spouse.
2:14 to 5:00 of the song solely addresses ONE theme from the remaining 60% of the survey: S E X!!!
They want SEX, more SEX to keep them sane, and in their very best behavior. They want SEX to love on you more. They want SEX in its wildest, craziest form – to relieve tension/stress. They want SEX, enough SEX, to bond with you. The majority of men in this category see SEX with you, their beloveds, as a celebration. They want you to be ‘HOT’, almost every day, so they can desire you, almost every day. Most of the men here believe, they have worked for it, they had to do a lot of convincing to get you interested in them. Some strategized on how to win your heart. Others campaigned, indirectly, to others – about you; how good a woman you are, so their folks could see you in the same light as them.
Therefore, seeing SEX with them through the lens of – something you’d WANT to do versus, something you feel you’d HAVE to do, can make all the difference in the relationship/marriage. They want you to willingly, invite them, with access, to your ‘VIP’ sanctuary. The few ladies in this category want to feel sexually chosen by you. They want you to see them, adore their bodies, know their bodies, feel them, and grab them admiringly… And, explore their worlds of ‘sukumleh’
Adult men from this percentage want to see their wives or partners, come out of the shower, NAKEDzzzz – to cause their engines to REACT. SEX is a hunger for most of the men here. And, none of these guys want to go hungry. Their thirsts for SEX is like a desire for Waakye. Apiece of sexual experience with you, holds the superb likelihood of a revelation filled excitements: Like, Waakye with its appropriate accompaniments. They want you to surprise their imaginations with the unspeakable. Make them speechless, perchance with a pint-size raw and bittersweet Dagaati moves.
They want back their appetite with you. Work that waist as dessert.
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Credits:
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Performed By: David Bondze
Music and Words By: David Bondze-Mbir
Produced By: D'kaybee Studios
Cover Photo designed by: @Isuru Malshan
Stream URL: https://soundcloud.com/bondze-mbir/david-bondze-be-my-guest
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