My Greatest Failure?
The failure that traumatised me most was not my demotion when I was a new manager or when I was retrenched while in a C-suite role. Both were painful events and taught me much. But they didn’t mean as much as when, at the age of twelve, I lost the football final at an 11-a-side tournament.
We were leading 2-0 at end of first half. Our game, however, went south in the second as we started leaking goals - a goal, then two and three. After that, it was just a blur. Shoulders drooped, we stopped trying. Something in me snapped. I started screaming and swearing at my teammates and did all the stuff that did not help a team that was already down. Even when the final whistle was blown, I was still fuming, criticising and pointing fingers.
That night in my bedroom with no one to blame, the awful realisation of how I behaved finally hit me. I knew then my greatest failure was not losing but letting my entire team down by being a jerk. I was so ashamed I cried myself to sleep.
Nonetheless, there was a silver lining.
Twelve-year-old boys have very poor retention spans and a generous spirit. To get forgiveness I mumbled “sssooorryyyy. Won't happen again”. I was forgiven not because I was a particularly good friend but because I was the only one in the group who owned a football!
Several lessons:
- Sometimes the greatest failure is not about losing but how one drag others down when the going gets tough.
- Say sorry even if you are so ashamed of yourself that you want to pretend that you are right and the others are wrong.
- Never walk alone because you can’t succeed without others and it offers little joy.
- Never give up on your team because they can’t succeed without you and it offers little joy.
- Play to win but don’t lose life’s bigger perspectives in the quest for victory. Winning must never be everything!
On further reflection there is lesson 6 - If you are learning and changing then you are already winning. Perhaps I should change the title of this article from "My greatest failure" to "My greatest victory". What do you think?
Executive Leadership & Team Coach | 40+ Years in Healthcare Management | DEI Strategist | Expert in Systemic Change &Trust Building | C-IQ Partitioner | Author | Speaker.
6 年Great post David. Insights and reflections are our masters to betterment.
Additional General Manager - Business Strategy & Corporate Affairs
6 年Well articulated, in life one never knows what would hit next. Therefore, I have different opinion on title 'My Greatest Failure'. I would prefer to write - My Greatest Failure so far.
Director and VP of Operations scaling with AI | 15+ years Operational Excellence Leader | LEAN Six Sigma Black Belt with $25M+ in savings | $100M+ Sales Optimization | MBA | Business Consultant
6 年Definitely never walk alone. ??
Technology Leadership | Data Strategy | Data Governance | Data Analytics | Digital Transformation | Design Thinking | Consulting
6 年Well said, David!