My grandmother taught me a life lesson about racism while sitting on a white woman's porch.

S/O to Lora Tucker the CEO of Girl Scouts of South Carolina - Mountains to Midlands. On our Zoom call today she spoke about what can we do individually not just a council in helping to eradicate racism within our lifetime. She started the conversation off by playing a video of this black woman sharing a story about a time she was in a grocery store with her biracial sister who was in front of her. As the cashier checked her out she spoke to her so pleasantly and made eye contact. Her sister paid for her groceries with a check and the transaction was processed without incident. Now it was her turn and their was no eye contact and no pleasant conversation as her items were rung up. When she wrote her check to pay for her groceries she was asked to show her driver’s license and the cashier pulled out a “bad checks” book to see if her driver’s license matched any numbers. The two white women who stood behind her in line along with her biracial sister spoke up on her behalf because they felt in their heart what the cashier had done to the black lady in that moment was wrong and not fair. 

How many times have you saw something blatantly wrong and did not speak up? How many times were you able to use your white privilege but didn’t; to help benefit someone black who deserved a hand-up from a system of oppression that has constantly knocked them down? Not every black person is looking for a hand-out some just need a hand-up. And many don’t even need that, they just want the system to deal them a fair hand. One that isn’t stacked against them because we’re smart enough to create our own opportunities. 

I spoke as the only African American male in the council and shared with them why I did a rally for Trayvon Martin. I shared how my mentor Rev. Senator Clementa Pinckney was murdered in his church June 17, 2015 with 8 other members. I shared my fears on how I worry any time my 6’1 son who is so smart but who is fearless isn’t around me. I asked if they even worry about things like that when their son’s aren’t in their presence. During this quarantine, KJ has fallen in love with driving but as I’m teaching him how to drive, I have to make sure I teach him how to react and respond if he’s ever pulled over by a cop. But, I also shared with them how I work to eradicate racism from people that I know are black. We must combat it on both sides! I tell my black friends that I have white friends that I know support President Trump and they know I voted for former President Obama but, they would run through a wall for me because they know the content of my character. They know my heart. If you are still racist in 2020, I truly believe that you have a heart issue and the time has arrived for you to perform an open heart surgery on yourself. Because only YOU can fix YOU??

My grandmother would take me with her on Saturday mornings to Garys, SC to pick peas with Mrs. Smith; not for Mrs. Smith. After picking the peas we would then go on Mrs. Smith (my grandmother white friend) front porch and shell the portion of peas we picked. I would just sit there shelling peas and listening to their stories. Their laughs and even their cries. I didn’t have a cellphone, social media did not exist, and Mrs. Smith didn’t have kids my age to play with so I sat quietly (in a kid’s place) and just listened. When we left the two friends hugged and gave their farewells. Mrs. Smith always gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. It almost felt like she saw me as her grandson too. On the way back to Pineland, my grandmother would stop by her black friend house Mrs. Emma Jones and something strange happened. Under Mrs. Jones carport my grandmother shared the same stories, the same laughs, and the same cries that she just shared with her white friend with her black friend. That’s why I am convinced; that racism is taught?? My grandmother never explicitly told me not to hate white people; I actually learned it implicitly. I have never told my kids to hate white people they have implicitly learned it through my actions to not just judge a person by the color of their skin. That’s shallow; that’s petty. You judge a person by the content of their character and how they show you their heart. 

Thank you so much Lora for having this tough conversation on racism. I cannot say this enough, but if you got this far and you have a daughter or a niece or a female cousin and they are not a part of Girl Scouts (especially the council here - Mountains to Midlands) you are doing them a disservice. It’s not just about selling cookies it is about creating and developing the whole girl to help make the world a better place. I was just recently asked by a national fashion chain CEO if I could be a consultant in helping their brand become more aware on black issues. And what’s crazy is, it’s not like her brand isn’t built on inclusiveness; I just feel like she wants to be on the right side of history and we are at a critical part of this process. The question now remains...what side of history do you want to be on in our quest to end racism?