For My Graduating Seniors ... and yours.

Dear members of the Class of 2022:

Your graduation is at hand, and that is an occasion well worth celebrating. You have accomplished much, both in the classroom and out. You have learned much, about the world and about yourselves. You have given much, to your parents, your peers and your community. You are a reason for the world to be optimistic about our collective future.

Yes, we live in what are called "Difficult times." And? All times are difficult. So what!!!

Nothing that this nation and this world are enduring can erase the knowledge you have acquired, the friendships you have cultivated or the memories that you have made. Nothing in the world matters quite as much as what you are celebrating ... your graduation.

And because this is a graduation everyone gets to make a speech. Here is mine for you:

A few years ago, I had the honor of addressing some of the more colorful members of the Belen Jesuit Class of 2014. I will use that as a foundation for the message I wish to share with each of you.

COMPROPMISE!

We encounter compromise every day. It is the double-edged sword of the human experience. It is compromise that allows the legal system to function, that allows, our legislatures to work, that allows us to maintain peace in the world … peace at our jobs... peace in our homes. We cannot live without compromise.

Yet, this idea of compromise brings up an important question: what kind of lives do we lead if all we do is compromise?

Allow me to suggest an answer.

There is a reason that we are required to study literature in high school. It is to remind us that our lives and our experiences do not take place in isolation but instead are a part of the continuum of human existence. So much of what we see, others too have seen. So much of what we feel, others too have felt. So much of what we experience, others too have experienced. Our hopes, dreams, wants, needs and fears are unique to each of us, of course, but the degree to which we share these things is far more common than you might realize.

I mention this because what you are, what we ALL are, experiencing right now reminds me a great deal of the predicament in which Hamlet found himself. Confronted by the enormity of his circumstances – and his inability to fully control them -Hamlet wondered about the very nature of existence.

You may know this as the “to be or not to be” soliloquy. Well, the answer to his first question is beyond my capacity to answer or even discuss. The idea of “to be or not to be” is better left for a time of deeper contemplation In fact, you will spend much of your lives trying to find an answer to Hamlet's question.

But his second question- one that addresses your circumstances in particular and the idea of compromise in general – is something that I do wish to discuss a bit.

Hamlet, when confronted a no-win situation asked:

"Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles – and by opposing, end them."

In modern parlance, Hamlet was asking whether an individual of consequence (and each of you that I now is, TO A PERSON, an individual of consequence) should stoically accept his or her fate. or stand and fight for the sake of virtue.

Notice, that Hamlet did not ask which course of action was easier or more expedient – he used the word "nobler."

What is the RIGHT thing to do? Is it more moral to accept fate and the vicissitudes of circumstance or to stand on principle and fight? Is it more moral to compromise or to remain resolute in one’s convictions?

There is no easy answer to this question.

Uncompromising people are easy to admire, but they have enemies, detractors and false friends. They must be prepared to experience betrayal, gossip and envy. When they fail, and all us do fail from time to time, they must be prepared to deal with the smug satisfaction of those who are content to stand on the sidelines of life and do little more than spectate and judge.

An uncompromising life is not an easy life to lead … and it is also fraught with moral perirl. Uncompromising people can be obstinate, close minded … even dangerous.

By way of comparison, those who look to compromise can be admirable, moral people. They are in fact the very foundation of our society. They are the politicians and statesmen, the judges and jurists, the conciliators and facilitators of industry and finance. They accomplish good and great things.

Yet, there is a downside to compromise – and to compromising people.

People of compromise often – too often in fact - on matters of principle, settle for cold comfort rather than genuine progress or true justice, and frequently forget that compromise is a means to an end rather than an end in itself.

I cannot tell you with any degree of certainty which of the two options is the better or the more moral course for any of you to hew. I think we can all agree that accepting advice on conventional morality from me is not in your best interest. I am, by common consensus, a bit of an ass.

I can most assuredly tell you all, however, that there are consequences to each manner of being… and you must be prepared to deal with those consequences.

That said, I can and will tell you which path I BELIEVE to be more satisfying and more in accordance with the zest and zeal of the members of the Class of 2022 .. the folks with whom I spent the pandemic.

But before I do … I do have a few bits of practical wisdom to share – ideas that I hope, truly hope, that you do take to heart.

First – have one friend for life who is a SMARTER person than you are. Make sure that he or she has the courage to be honest with you on all of the important matters … ALL of them.

And, make sure that you have the courage to listen to your friend’s honest counsel, knowing that your true friend has your best interest at heart.

Second – find a partner for life who is a BETTER person than you are. Live up to their expectations for you. Be inspired by your love’s virtue and your love’s faith in you. Have the courage to rise to your partner’s level rather than asking him or her to meet you at yours. Allow yourself to see yourself the way your partner sees you. Always be the person that he or she fell in love with. ALWAYS!!!

Third – take your time before committing to a profession or trade – but once you do commit, devote yourself to it with determination and joy. A life spent doing what you love to do is a pleasure far too few of us ever get to experience.

Fourth – cherish your family. They are not perfect … neither are you. They are demanding, needy, annoying and a giant pain in the ass. I personally know a lot of you. You are demanding, needy, annoying and giant pains in the ass. Your family knows all of this … and they don’t care.

Fifth – always pursue knowledge. One need not confine one’s pursuit of knowledge to the classroom. Whether it is history, art, music, sports, philosophy, exotic cars or cooking – you will invariably find that your satisfaction in pursuing a thing increases proportionally with your knowledge of that thing.

Finally – as far as the advice goes – be sure you measure yourself by the enemies you make at least as much as by the friends you keep. If there are some people resent your success, reject your principled stands, judge you for acting on your values and your beliefs, then know you are doing something RIGHT.

The only people in this world who have no enemies are the ones who do not even attempt to matter. Please matter ... always matter.

Now as to which course in life I think is the most rewarding:

I have always believed it was better to die on one’s feet than to live on one’s knees. But I am a half-crazed Irishman, and what passes as dignified independence in my culture doesn’t always translate well into our current age.

So, I will instead refer you to the example of a fictional Frenchman: Cyrano de Bergerac.

He confronted the end of his life – a life made prematurely shorter by his powerful enemies – on his feet and on his own terms.

Here is what he had to say as he met his demise:

"One cannot fight hoping only for success!

No! No: it is far more sweet if the fight is in vain!

...

Ah, I know you all, you old enemies of mine!

Deceit!

I strike!

And Compromise!

I strike!

Prejudice, Cowardice! ...

I strike!

That I should compromise with these enemies?

Never, never!

I know that you’ll lay me low in the end

No matter! I fight on! I fight! I fight again!

Yes you take all from me: the laurel and the rose!

Take them!

Despite you, there’s something

I keep ... something that tonight, as I go to meet my Deity,

will brush the blue threshold beneath my feet,

something I bear, in spite of you all, that’s

free of hurt, or stain, and that’s

… MY PANACHE.

So, Members of the Class of 2022, live life with style, and with substance and, well, with PANACHE.

And when you are called to meet your maker, you can die content in the knowledge that your time on this earth was well spent, that you left a wake in the sea of eternity and that your shout – along with your laughter – will echo throughout time.

Best wishes,

Sean