My first time

This week, I found myself debating what to write about. Eventually, I decided to revisit the moment when I first understood the power of leadership—a lesson that has stayed with me for decades and one I believe can help anyone looking to grow as a leader, or help others do the same.

The year was 1986, and I was a student at Champlain High School in Pembroke, Ontario. Our senior boys’ basketball team had an away game against Opeongo High School. To set the stage, I wasn’t one of the star players—not even close. Our team was average in the league, and my role was straightforward: set picks, grab rebounds, and burn through my fouls (something I excelled at).

I don’t remember much about the game itself—maybe we won, but I wouldn’t bet on it. What stands out is a vivid moment from the second half. We were trailing, but it was still a tight game. The other team started double-teaming our better players, leaving me wide open. I found myself standing at the top of the key, unsure of what to do. Then, almost instinctively, I started shouting for the ball. When I got it, I just drove to the basket, got fouled, and hit one of two free throws.

On the next possession, the same thing happened—I was left open, and suddenly, I was fully engaged in the game. I started using my voice—my best skill—and soon, my energy was infectious. Our team picked up the pace, becoming more aggressive on both ends of the court. The game got even closer. I wish I could tell you we had a storybook finish, but the truth is, I can’t remember how it ended.

But here’s the real leadership moment. After the game, in the locker room, there was a buzz of excitement. Laughter, chatter, and a sense of camaraderie filled the room. Then, unexpectedly, the opposing team’s coach walked in. He came straight to me and said, “That was great leadership you showed—well done.”

I was floored. Leadership? I hadn’t thought I’d done anything special. I wasn’t the best player that day; I’d just played my part. So like any typical teenager, I shrugged it off and didn’t think much more about it.

A few weeks later, we had a rematch at our school. We were confident going into the game, riding high from the last one. But this time, I was the one being double-teamed. It made no sense—I wasn’t our top scorer, and I didn’t pose much of a threat offensively. The game was frustrating, and I remember vividly that we lost—badly.

I’ve reflected on those two games many times since, and they’ve taught me valuable lessons about leadership that I’ve carried with me for the last 40 years.

First, when an opportunity to make a difference arises, don’t hesitate—seize it. Too often, we step back, convinced someone else is better suited for the moment. But if you want to be a leader, or simply someone who uplifts others, you can’t wait for the perfect opportunity or obsess over the outcome. Sometimes, you just need to step up.

Second, tell people specifically what they’re doing well. That coach from Opeongo saw something in me that day and had the courage to acknowledge it. That small comment, which cost him almost nothing, had a massive impact on me. His feedback has influenced my approach to leadership ever since. The lesson? Don’t underestimate the power of recognizing leadership in others, even in small moments. It can change their lives.

Finally, the frustration I felt in that second game taught me that leadership isn’t always easy. It can be lonely, difficult, and at times, disheartening. But if you let frustration define your leadership journey, you’ll struggle to lead in the future. To keep leading, even through tough times, you need reflection, a commitment to growth, and a support system of mentors or teammates who have your back.

For those on a leadership journey, or for those who can help someone else on theirs, here’s my advice: take risks, give feedback, reflect on your actions, and surround yourself with people who are honest, supportive, and care. These are the lessons I learned at 17, and they’ve shaped my life in profound ways. I’ll always be grateful to that unknown coach from Opeongo High School. You changed my life.