My First "Love" Experience: A Rollercoaster Of Beauty, Emotions & Pain.

18 year old me was just sitting in the church that fateful evening.

People were around me.

Different ages.

But this dark skinned damsel struck me.

Looking all innocent and beautiful— I lost total control in that instant.

You know the rush of emotions you feel when the "love at first sight " hits you?

Yep.

I'm here to testify there's something like that.

But what did I do? Where did I go? Did I go and meet her? And what did she say?

Follow me as I unravel my first love experience as a teenager 6 years ago.

By the way...

Can you relate?

Or you're that person who has never fallen in "love" before? If that's you, then you can close this newsletter because my target reader is a GenZ who has felt what I felt.?

You're still here?

Amazing!

I can't remember the exact month or day this happened but I'm sure it was in 2016.

Indeed, it was a wonderful day.

Tolu Kazeem, The Sharp Shooter.

So what happened after I set my eyes on this angel of the most high? I mean I was in the church so you should get the joke.??

Well after the service that night, I made my move. I had to— There's just something about beauty that can weaken the nature of timidity and install confidence in the twinkle of an eye.

My fellow guys can relate.

I hesitated at first. And after I realised she was going far away from me, I hurried to catch up and spoke to her.

Oh my!??

I was sweating fam. I couldn't handle the beauty. At the end of the day, I collected her number and made her smile before I went my way.

Jackpot innit?

Days later and I can't really describe the experience— But all I know is that everything happened fast!

We started texting daily, calling frequently and sending gifts to one another.?

I was hooked guys.?

I mean first of all, she was older than me. And there's something about dating older ladies— Their level of maturity just seems to lure you in more into their bosom.

As my guys then used to say... I could say it along with them:

"This guy don love up."

And apart from the age difference, her body was banging— at least I know what I like when I see a lady.?

So everything summed up together added to this interesting love scenario until months later when...

She Ghosted Me.

I had to go back to school for the resumption of my 300 level session.

But a few days after returning to school, I reached out to her on Snapchat (where we usually talked) to talk with my new found love.?

But no response.

Days...

Weeks...

Months...

No damn replies.

I couldn't think well.

What did I do? Did I say anything wrong? Has she found another man?

Till date I don't have an answer to that.

However during the school session, my academics suffered. I failed and failed and that session ended up being my worst in Covenant University.?

What am I saying?

The Mask Of Love.

We are emotional beings.

And the truth is that without emotions, we cannot live a fulfilling life. But it's very hard to live that life when that side of our personality isn't under our control.

I couldn't control my emotions— I wasn't intelligent then.?

I literally lost myself because of that experience. And while writing this, I realised it was around that period I started drinking and smoking.

Thank God, I don't do any of that now again but it would have been better if I never tried it. Why?

When it comes to negative habits, the first time is always the worst time. If not for the blood of Jesus that washed that nature in my life away, where would I be today?

You see, today is Valentines and maybe because you don't have a partner... you're inclined to feeling bad.

Even though it sounds funny, the love of Jesus is always there for you.

Connect to Him and He'll give you more understanding of yourself, life and your purpose in life than anyone else would.

He will give you clarity and direction on the steps to make and before you know it... you'd see the law of attraction working out for you by bringing to your place of influence the person that's meant for you.

Or maybe you have a partner but you didn't receive any gifts. And seeing couples exchange that on social media could make you think your partner is cheating.

Maybe that's true.

But what if it's not.

What if he/she didn't have the money to make you happy?

We're living in an age where mundane things tend to drive our desires.

The truth is at one point in time or the other... emotions can cloud our mind from thinking right.

But I'm writing this newsletter to tell you that you've gotta put it under control.

I lost myself years ago because of that lack of control. But I don't want you to lose yourself.

Maybe your own case doesn't relate with all these lovey dovey stuff around now.?

But you know your emotions are getting in the way.

It's time to level up, friend.

You own your emotions, It doesn't own you.

That's why I will always advise people to use positive self-talk, take breaks or seek support anytime they find themselves in an overwhelming situation.

1. Declaring "I'm in total control and nothing tampers with the atmosphere of my life" can immediately align your emotions for order and peace in your life.

2. Taking breaks when you feel overwhelmed by a circumstance will do wonders.

3. And talking with a friend, and sharing how you feel will work out something like a miracle too— I have experienced this first hand and discovered that most of the time, all we want is someone that'll listen to us talk about ourselves and experiences.?

That's why listening ears are priced assets in the world of valuable communication.

Everything will be fine!

You deserve the best in life. And I know you'll get it.

And yeah...

Happy Valentines ??

Ps. Can you relate to this? Have you experienced the power of an uncontrolled emotion before? If you have... how did you set things in order? I'd love to hear from you ??

To Better Days.??