My fellow white people: It's time WE ALL became better (people).

Being white in 2020 America feels like the label of the entitled, privileged and racist class. That's not the USA I want my children to grow up in. Here are some of my thoughts and, at the end of the post, you'll also find some suggestions on how to make a change, as well as some resources for adults and children.

Coming to America

Arnold Schwarzenegger (who has not always had so great a history with respect to treating women kindly, among other things) wrote an interesting article in 'The Atlantic' earlier this week about his dream of coming to America. Like Arnie, I am an immigrant - and, even in 2002, was not prepared for the state of this country with respect to gender and ethnic equality. I tangentially experienced some (very mild) bias because of my first name: Surely, a 'Manuel' in TX must be Hispanic. Table assignments and such were noticeably upgraded, when I showed up in person ('oh, Hispanic name and accent...but...WHITE...).

I can't, won't and would never liken this 'privileged profiling' to the hatred and racism that still exists in this Country. A Country where a white police officer can slowly suffocate an African American male in broad daylight and nobody steps in. That is terrifying, soul-crushing, and beyond something a rational, reasonable person can imagine possible in 'the greatest country in the world'. But...what struck me almost more is that, in the aftermath, white people were suggesting to the African American community how to mourn 'properly. News reports start off with 'The protesting continues after George Floyd's death' - it puzzled me...no mention of police brutality, racism, and such. Protests don't typically start in response to the death of a human being. They may well start in response to an African American male being murdered by a white police officer, thus continuing the long and well-documented history of racist police brutality. So why, in 2020, do news reports focus on the protests first? What kind of picture does this type of reporting paint of the protests?

A protest is NOT a riot

At the same, on social media, one can also see peaceful assemblies, moments of silence, large numbers of people lying on the ground while chanting 'I can't breathe'. One sees riot police taking off their gear and taking a knee in solidarity with the people protesting.

And, sadly, one sees police cars driving into a crowd of people, tear gas, violent police attacks on peaceful protestors. African American reporters being 'mistakenly' arrested. 

'We riot, because you don't hear us when we march' one tweet proclaimed. Yes, the accompanying video shows the back window of a police car being bashed in. This is not 'traditional mourning' and violence is never the answer. However, we are not talking about a normal, natural death either. Just how peaceful and quietly would people have to protest racist and brutal murders of African Americans so that white people would not 'explain' to them what they are 'doing wrong'?

Many riots were instigated by supremacists, not mourning protestors

Even George Floyd's son has called for peaceful protests. But white voices do not just criticize protests, they also pass judgment on peaceful assembly and vigils; they complain about 'harsh wording', 'too many emotions', 'too many generalizations', and more. Sure, some people may not understand why an entire people is hit very hard by the death of George Floyd. Maybe that's not racism, but many opposition voices seem to have racist undertones. News reports of twitter identifying and subsequently suspending fake 'antifa' accounts run by white supremacists and white people trying to 'blend in' amongst protesters to incite riots during what should be peaceful assemblies to demonstrate against police brutality are more and more frequently popping up - and paint a picture people of a 'different mindset' trying to instigate more police violence against African Americans.

Most white people (myself included) do not know or can't imagine a world where the police are not there to protect and serve (them). But unlike myself and my friends, family, and coworkers, these white people don't know - and refuse to listen or accept this sad truth. People have questioned the use of the word 'brother', simply because the authors of tweets were not physically related to George. There were discussions about whether mourning the 'death of a brother' isn't an inappropriate way to share one's sadness for the needless loss of human life. Shaming someone in mourning about the way they grieve is certainly a despicable and cruel act - and just another way to tell the Black community how to act.

Protests are NOT the problem, they are the result of a history of problems.

News reports and social media are full of messages from white people who are more upset about the protests against racism than the blatant display of racism itself. I don't condone protests leading to damages to buildings or vehicles. However, let's consider the vast damages the French Revolution brought about - yet because of its motivation it's being lauded as a brave and long overdue endeavor to change the very fabric of the French society at the time - and give more power, privilege, and freedoms to 'regular' people.

I'll say it again...I don't condone violence, riots or looting. I'd argue those (white AND African American) who protest peacefully do not either. But to see the news shifting the focus on the damages done, rather than what MUST be done to stop white cops from murdering African Americans (and getting away with it). There needs to be a 'top-down' acknowledgment of the serious threat police brutality and racism pose to a large population of fellow human beings. There must be a commitment to admit that it's wrong to 'just' take someone's life. And....that it's wrong to tell a mourning, upset and scared people how to behave and when to be done feeling marginalized and ignored.

There are many kind, open-minded and liberal white people out there. And yet we too still make mistakes when it comes to racism and anti-racism. But it doesn't mean that we should stop trying. The Black community sadly will not be able to stop racism by themselves, just like women can't obtain gender equality by themselves - historically marginalized groups need, deserve to have an ally in their fellow people. It takes all of us to truly make a difference. Even if we cannot even imagine what it must feel like to experience racism, we must try to be more aware and speak up. It's not magic. It's common human decency and it's the right thing to do. Let's admit our insecurity, perhaps even our shame, about what is happening - and try to do our part to make this country a better one for all races, religions, and skin colors.

So, what can we do?

1. Have some grace. With those in mourning and ourselves in our (current) helplessness.
2. Show support: Like, share, comment on meaningful articles. Donate to meaningful causes like the Minnesota Freedom Fund who help those who were very likely wrongfully arrested. If you need an extra incentive... many celebs have already done so as well! BEAM (Black Emotional and Mental Health) is also a great cause, and, of course, Black Lives Matter. Sign up and / or donate to the NAACP and their 'We are done dying' campaign.
3. VOTE! Only this time...make it count. Don't vote for President / Mayor / Governor / Judge / Sheriff because you don't like their opponent. Or because it might put a few extra dollars in your pockets. Trust me, the difference it can make to those most impacted by the 'bad guys' winning is priceless. And, let's be honest, most of us CAN afford it.
4. Make a friend who doesn't look like you.
5. Educate your children, so that the next generation will be smarter, kinder, more compassionate, and more inclusive than ours. Here are a few suggestions:

• PBSTeaching your Child about Black History
• Coretta Scott King Book Award Winners
• 31 Children's books to support conversations on race, racism and resistance

6.   Educate yourself on the history of racism, your own subconscious bias, and what we can do to make this country a safe one for all its people, regardless of skin color, gender, religion, or sexual orientation. Here are a few suggestions:

• Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice (Paperback)
• Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence: Understanding and Facilitating Difficult Dialogues on Race
• Witnessing Whiteness: The Need to Talk About Race and How to Do It
• The Emperor Has No Clothes: Teaching About Race And Racism To People Who Don't Want To Know (Educational Leadership for Social Justice) 
• Towards the "Other America": Anti-Racist Resources for White People Taking Action for Black Lives Matter
• Understanding White Privilege: Creating Pathways to Authentic Relationships Across Race 
• Waking Up White: and Finding Myself in the Story of Race