My favourite books of last year

I have a guilty pleasure and I would like to share it with you today. 

For me, the absolute luxury is to take a day of holiday and go to a bookstore on my own. Then, spend something like 2-3 hours wandering around in the bookstore, looking at book covers, reading summaries and comparing books. Of course, I always end up buying too many books :-)

The rest of that day, I will find a nice terrace to read in some of the bought books and probably also eat some chocolate cake while reading.  

In reality, however, I read most of the books from my list while I was commuting to and from work. I typically spend about 3 hours in my car every day (before Corona, that is) and so I wanted to use that time to educate myself and broaden my perspective. That’s how I started listening to audiobooks in my car (if you want some advice on which app to use, let me know). 

In the below list, you can find some of the best books I have listened to over the last year. I think that I must have listened to about 30 or 40 books - some of them more memorable than others. You can find some of my favourites below 

The Power of Vulnerability - Brené Brown

This is my number one must-read. What an eye-opener! 

“I read a book one day and my whole life was changed.” – Orhan Pamuk

I was (and still am to quite some extent) one of these people who always wants to do things right. I want to be strong and perfect and work hard for it, I don’t want to look weak or be vulnerable. This book made me realise that by being vulnerable, you open the door for the most beautiful things in life - it’s not an invitation for being considered weak. 

If you consider yourself a perfectionist or if you sometimes avoid new things that could make you happy, then you should probably read this book!

How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk - Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

I’m going to be honest with you: I’ve read this book at least 4 times in the last year. I think it’s so amazing!

“I can’t imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once.” – C.S. Lewis

It is one of these parenting books, but not one that says ‘this is right and this is wrong’. It’s a book that is full of real life situations and examples, which I’m sure are recognizable for any parent, together with the approaches which worked, but which also failed in some occasions. It’s not about good parenting, it’s about making parenting more rewarding and fulfilling.  

I’ve read the book 4 times, because every time I read it, I tried to learn and apply new strategies. I’m sure I will read it again soon ;-)

The Choice - Edith Eger

Edith tells her story, which starts in the second world war, where she is deported to Auschwitz. After the horrors of the camps, she finally ends up in the US, where she starts a very successful practice as a psychologist, while at the same time also digesting her own traumatic experiences. 

It’s a beautiful story about willpower, about changing your perspective, about forgiveness, about starting all over again, about acceptance and resilience. It is so powerful and inspiring and humbling at the same time. Once you have read this story, you will look at the world differently, I promise.

You are the Placebo - Joe Dispenza

In my own life, I have experienced a couple of times the life-saving possibilities of willpower. And that’s exactly what Joe Dispenza is describing in this book. He uses neuroscience and self-conducted scientific research to describe the impact that your thoughts and beliefs can have on your body, your mind and your overall well being. 

Although the book is sometimes a bit too American for my personal taste, I found the general concepts to be very valuable and inspiring. It strengthened the beliefs I have about willpower and impacting your body through your mind. 

Leadership and self-deception - The Arbinger Institute

This book is very easy to read, as it is told as a story. The main concepts in there are around how we deceive ourselves and self-justify a lot of our decisions and what the impact is on our surroundings. The principles can be applied easily in both the professional and the private environment. And it is amazing to notice how many people are often self-justifying!

A good read if someone in your surroundings is often focusing on what is going wrong and who's to blame - rather than going after the solution. But be aware: it might change your perspective on yourself as well ;-)

Change your questions, change your life - Marilee Adams

I think that the principles from this book are so powerful, that I even created an adapted version at home for my kids. The methodology uses the choice map (https://inquiryinstitute.com/CM.pdf), which is great to get away from blaming and complaining and move to action and resolution. I love the methodology, because it does not focus on ‘whose fault is it?’, but rather focuses all its energy on how to get to the best outcome for everyone involved. The methodology is easily explained through a story, which makes it digestible.

In the office, I put a print-out of the choice map on the wall for my entire team to be reminded of it every day (when we are in the office, of course ;-) ): we are not looking to blame each other, but we are looking at what are the unmet needs and what we can do to meet these.

I can assure you, this works miracles!

The happiness project - Gretchen Rubin

In The happiness project, Gretchen Rubin searches for ways to increase her happiness level. Like many of us, she has everything one can reasonably need to be happy, but feels that her happiness levels are not quite up to what she would expect them to be. She tries all different tactics and methodologies to raise her happiness levels and keeps some self-scoring. 

The book is light and entertaining and you could definitely get some ideas there to improve certain areas in your life.

Everything is figureoutable - Marie Forleo

This is again one of these books with such a strong positive vibe that allows you to cast a different light on any situation. I love the philosophy behind it and try to apply it in my personal life, but also in my professional life. 

Marie starts from the belief that you can do anything you want, if you put enough focus on it. She shows from different situations that you can use willpower to achieve anything you like. It’s probably the most powerful belief to have!

“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The five dysfunctions of a team - Patrick Lencioni

I actually read this book on request of a client, but I’m happy this book was recommended to me. It’s again a business book that is written as a story and that covers the different aspects which are important in teamwork - or what makes a team malfunction. 

Many of the aspects which are important for teamwork, like trust, responsibility, dedication, common goals are the topics of the other books I read. And although they sound like they are no-brainers, too often I still see many of these ingredients missing in some teams. So, if you are working in a team (and chances are quite high), I would definitely recommend reading it. 

Who moved my cheese? - Spencer Johnson

A funny story about mice who run out of cheese and who can either hope for the cheese to come back miraculously or go out in a maze and try to find new cheese. A nice metaphor for change and how to deal with it. Also about making your own success and happiness and avoiding to fall into the trap of self-complaint. 

A good read when you feel you should be making a change in your life, but are not quite sure if you are ready to do so. 

How these books have helped me

First of all, I love reading books - I think it's a great way to create focus and to get out of your daily routine - you literally enter into a different world. And isn't that something lovely: getting into a different and interesting world on a daily basis? I think it's a small miracle.

Next to that, these books have all challenged my previous beliefs, habits and viewpoints. And that makes me grow. Nothing better than to get out of my own thoughts and ponder a new point of view to enrich my view on the world. Some of the topics were confronting, some have moved me to tears, some made me laugh, but they have all touched me. And some have also inspired me to make changes to my life for the better. I could not wish for more.

But reading these books has not only helped me. More often than not, I have also recommended some of these books to some of my coachees, when they were stuck on a certain topic or when they were in a situation where they could use a new point of view. And many of them have come back to me saying that reading the book had really made them see things differently. What more can you wish for as a coach?

Do you have some other books that I should definitely read? Then let me know! I have already planned my next trip to the bookstore ;-) (but don’t tell my husband, he will go crazy when he finds more books in the house ;-) )!

#ilovebooks #keeponlearning #selfeducation