My Father’s Voice

This Father’s Day, I am so happy to honor my Dad by sharing his simple words of wisdom with the world. Words that from a very young age taught me, shaped me, and still guide me every day in my work and family life. Of course, these are not all his words, but rather quotes he loves, borrowed, and reimagined for whatever life stage or situation we were in. I remember listening intently at the dinner table, in the car, or on the front porch as he would rock back and forth while talking to my siblings and I.  

I was what you might call a spectator growing up in my highly competitive, very opinionated, incredibly witty, overtly loving, Type A family. Dad worked 80 hours a week just to feed us. When he was around on the weekends, he so often fed our hearts and minds with his well-read reflections. They taught us to be compassionate, brave, hopeful and determined. More than that, they built within us pillars of strength that we could return to again and again, throughout our lives. 

When I was very young, and first learning the meaning of both empathy and self-reliance, some of the first Dad-isms I recall hearing were:

“It's awfully nice to be important, but it’s more important to be awfully nice.” 

“Believing is half the battle, no one will ever believe in you as much as you believe in you.” 

“Be accountable, blame no one but yourself.”

In my pre-teen years, Dad constantly reminded us that life wasn't only about us, and would often accuse one of us of catching the "I" syndrome. Long before selfies, he would frequently say, “I will know I did a really great job, if when you look at a photo you see yourself last.” He continued to build on the value of selflessness and understanding with phrases like:

“I can teach you anything but I can't teach you to care.”

“Learn to give 60, and take 40.”

He loves poetry and used it often to get his messages across. I vividly remember the times he would read Rudyard Kipling to us, always repeating the line:

 “If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings nor lose the common touch…..” 

As a teenager, I was a bit of an introvert, and I think he sensed I needed a little extra fatherly support. I was also a sponge, absorbing all I could, and clearly remember the birthday he gave me “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen, and the following year “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. Their words had a huge impact on me as I read them over and over and began to learn and understand the importance your thoughts, dreams and giving will play in your life. They still remain a guiding force for me today. I deeply believe that what we envision, both positive and negative, manifests our destiny. And that love and giving of your whole self are the greatest positive forces on the planet.

"The inner thoughts you choose and encourage; weave both your inner character and your outer circumstances.”  — James Allen. 

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."  — Kahlil Gibran 

Still now, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't hear his voice, quote his words, and thank him for all of the amazing tools he gave me to survive and thrive in this ever-changing world. I hope his words will somehow inspire fathers everywhere to realize how much their own words shape their children’s lives everyday, especially their daughters.

Earlier this year we were reminiscing and I asked him which quote was his favorite. Without missing a beat he quoted:

“When things go wrong as they sometimes will, and the road your trudging seems all up hill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, when you want to smile but you have to sigh, when all is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must but don't you quit. For life is queer with its twist and turns as everyone of us sometimes learns, and many a failure is turned about when he might have won had he stuck it out. Success is failure turned inside out, the silvery tints on the clouds of doubt, you may be near when it seems so far, so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit. Rest if you must, but don't you quit.” — Edgar A. Guest 

Thank you Dad, your words and wisdom will forever be a part of my life. 

I love you, 

Happy Father's Day