My Father's day tribute to the man that gave me life.

My memories of my father, he was a complicated men. He taught me many important things that I know, He was my master teacher. The most important thing that he taught me was "not to judge a book by its cover." People have many different pages and if you take the time to open their pages with an understand for their life struggles you can truly benefit! My father was brilliant, funny, capable of great things, addicted too many things, loving, misunderstood, and living with great pain everyday of his life. He never knew his father and his mother would not tell who he was. He had 14 siblings, twelve brothers and two sisters everyone but him know who their father was. He was a dark skin tall black man with great style and incredible taste. He was a self made man that learned fast and loved learning. He respected the power of education and was always learning new things. He read often, studied daily and loved the library.

When I was 5 years old every weekend I would get up as soon as I heard him get up and get dressed. I would follow him everywhere he went and that was the beginning of my lessons. We would talk in the car and I would ask so many questions, he would smile and give me the answers. He was kind, and often very funny but eager to tell me what I wanted to know. He very seldom got angry with other people no matter how they treated him. When I asked him why he would say " everyday is a challenge for most people especially if they are Black," so we must allow them to blow off steam every once an a while.

He and my mother had a very completed relationship she was very light skin and didn't understand his challenges as a dark skin black man in America. I saw how many white people tried to disrespect him but he didn't allow it. He would in a very respectful way put a stop to their behavior. He did it in a brilliant manor sometimes with humor and others with a stern voice of authority. I was so very impressed by his ability to community with others in so many different ways which I called disarming them.

He taught me to pick parts at the wrecking yard, to bargain for a better price everywhere, how to ask for the manager when you are having a problem doing business, I learned many different ways to negotiate for just about anything and to always maintain yourself respect and dignity in public. He never used curse words. He would say an intelligent person always searches for a much more dignified way to express their anger. My mother loved to CURSE! She knew he hated that language. I believe that they truly loved each other but had a very hard time expressing it most the time. Many times they were great partners and good together. He wasn't allowed to work in the hospital in California because of his dark skin but my mother was because of her light skin. White people loved her and would do anything for her. Both of them were trained in Iowa to work in the hospital. California was very racist and I learned that very early in my life here. My father was told that he could only work as a janitor! So He had a very hard time in California so many time he would go back to Iowa to regain his self respect and dignity.

I had trouble in school he would work with me every night to build my skills and encourage me to keep trying. He was patient and very good at teaching me what I was struggling with. He would say that God didn't make any dummies. We are all brilliant and capable of great things It is up to each of us to realize our special talents and amazing abilities. Without his help I would not have succeeded. My mother had no patients for me and she would get mad. My brother and sister were gifted and so she didn't understand my struggles.

Whenever my father left to return to Iowa we would talk daily on the phone until he retuned. I loved doing this he was a great father to me. The day he died at 47 I felt my would ended. I cried for weeks and just couldn't understand why he was gone I was in my 20's and it was a very horrible pain. I prayed and prayed for understanding. Then I remembered what he had told me once that nothing in life last forever and no one leaves without God's permission. Then I decided that I would do my very best to make him proud of me for the rest of my life.