Life Lessons

A small act of kindness and support often goes further than you might think possible.

It would have been my father’s 88th birthday today, but sadly he is no longer with us. This anniversary also coincides with World Mental Health day, an intriguing coincidence considering everything that Dad went through in life. By remembering how the world was for his generation when it came to mental health awareness, I hope that I might help someone somewhere in a small way to show a little of the compassion he received - it can save lives. Dad’s life was tough and might well have ended very differently if it was not for the support and friendship he found in all walks of his life. This short retrospective will, I hope, show that we have come a long way and that simple things really matter.

As a young man Dad had a stammer which was managed by sheer determination on his part. I only found this out when he refused to watch the King's Speech with me a few years ago. He had forced himself into roles where he had to deliver memorised speeches, or he volunteered himself into positions that meant he had to overcome this disposition. He was, I am sure, an undiagnosed dyslexic which may have resulted in his speech difficulties, but with the fortitude I learned to love, he became an avid reader to try and ‘overcome’ his difficulties. His boss also helped him by recognising the skills he had and placing him in positions where others could also appreciate his abilities.

Outside of work, Dad was married to my Mum and eventually my brother and I arrived on the scene. I have fond memories of the four of us together as a unit, and then life dealt us a heavy blow when Mum started treatment for brain cancer, which eventually led to her untimely death before her 40th and just 12 days after my eighth birthday. I do not remember any support being provided by the health professionals to prepare us or help us with the inevitable impact this had on our lives. However, family and our community took care of us with acts of kindness. Dad once recalled how he come home from work to find that the front lawn had been mowed – he had no one to thank, but he was eternally grateful.

Naturally, Dad struggled to keep it together and his mental health took a severe turn for the worse – his physical health was not much better to be frank. The biggest support came from a charitable benevolent fund set up to support people like Dad. They were able to supplement Dad’s civil service income (i.e. not much) to allow my brother and I to attend a boarding school and thereby keep our family together. Without this support, the next step in my life might well have seen me placed into care provided by the state, not by family and friends.

These events have shaped who I am today and the education my brother and I received was far beyond the reach of our family . This simple act of support quite literally saved Dad’s life and has brought me into world he could only dream of…I think James and I have “done Mum and Dad proud” and I shall never forget the people who helped us and provided that life-line to Dad.

As I am sure you can imagine, I did not come through these life episodes unscathed. The love and kindness of my family sees me through the dark times and many people that I never thought I would ever need have been instrumental in shaping how I think today and manage my mental health. Colleagues past and present (and hopefully future too) have all helped, probably without realising. I am a much better person (I think) than I would be without your support.

Simple acts of humanity can go a lot further than you may thought possible. Being human, for me, is all about thinking of others as well as you; treat people how you would like to be treated yourself. For instance, a simple ‘thank you’ to the people that clean your corporate facilities goes a long way to making everyone feel included. Just imagine what your world would be like without them.

So perhaps, in a quiet moment, take stock of who you are fundamentally and what talents you have which you could use to give someone else a helping hand – a simple act may take them that little bit further in life. The pleasure of having a small hand in someone else successes is a potent thing and helps to make the world a better, kinder place to live in – my experiences tell me that it will also help you to further develop too.

A final thank you from me to you for reading this article to the end. Stay safe, lookout for your each other and this planet we call home.