“My family of choice”: Queer Nigerians are moving from conventional to chosen families, but is it always enough?

Before meeting her chosen family, Beauty, a lesbian woman and activist, struggled with identity and acceptance within her traditional family. Reflecting on her journey, she shares her experiences with familial acceptance and the pressures of conforming to societal expectations.?“I battled with my sexuality,” she recounts, “I didn’t have all the information to be aware of what it meant to be lesbian.”?

Beauty is not out to her family, and her attempts to come out to them have been met with denial.?“When I told my sister a long time ago that I was lesbian, she asked me to pray about it so it would leave me,” she shares.This internal conflict led her down the path of conversion therapy, a traumatic experience that left scars.

However, through the support of queer-friendly therapy and advocacy work in queer and feminist spaces, Beauty found solace and a renewed sense of purpose.?“I have my partner and a few friends; they are my chosen family. [Prior], I was simply existing,” she reflects, “now I am living.”

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