MY FACE-OFF WITH FEAR
Angelic Quote: In The Face Of Fear, What Is Made Most Clear Is I Make The Choice To Hear Spirit’s Voice.
In hockey, there is a method used to begin and restart play after a goal has been scored and this is called a face-off, where each center of the opposing teams stand around a circle on the ice, aiming to hit the puck first as it is dropped by the referee, so their team has the potential advantage to set up for a winning goal.
I was given this analogy by the Angels so I could center my thoughts and understand the importance of setting them up in a potentially organized manner in order to have my own face-off with fear. I could envision myself standing across from myself around a circle, making the choice - was it going to be an offensive (meeting it head on) or a defensive (taking a longer time) action I was going to take to reach my ultimate goal of facing my fear?
I have had many, many fearful thoughts in my life which range anywhere from a mild 1 or 2 out of 10 to an unknown number, leaving me in a complete state of immobility and anxiety. This incident just happened yesterday May 28, 2020 so is fresh in my mind and really gives me an opportunity to choose which play I am going to make to have my own face-off with fear. The prelude to this was when I moved 5.5 months ago I knew there was the possibility/probability of seeing bear and cougar here, and said then to my family who viewed the place with me initially, that I hoped I had never chosen to have this experience, as I did not know what I would do, especially if I was alone on the property. I live in a very rural, peaceful, wild and natural setting on 8 acres in the country and my new living environment meets every single need my soul requires in the realm of natural beauty, peace and serenity.
At 9:50 a.m., I was looking out my living room window and saw a black image sauntering down our driveway which is a long steep hill, and immediately knew I was having an encounter with a black bear. My heart started pounding and I ran to my phone to call my landlady in a full blown panic letting her know a bear was in our yard, saying I didn’t know what to do and asked her to please call me back. She lives in a separate house from me and I am in an apartment over her garage and office space. There is only the front door to come in and out of, so no back door to exit from, leaving me with no escape plan. As a person who lives with anxiety, I always need to have a contingency plan in place for when things might change without warning and my heightened fear was that the bear was going to break my door down and come inside and injure or kill me.
I kept looking at the bear, as initially it was about 30 yards away from me, but now it was about 20 yards away, getting closer and closer. I knew there was a mother black bear and cubs in the area from my community group on Facebook and also a very large male black bear in our area, but felt this was the mother bear. I looked for her cubs but didn’t see them anywhere. I then texted my landlady as my second way to reach her and she phoned me back right away. She calmly walked me through what was happening and asked me where the bear was now. My landlady was outside by her house and could just see the back end of the bear as it had turned around and sauntered back up to our bear-proof garbage bin. She answered my panicked questions, as I truly had never encountered a bear this close before. She assured me the bear was not going to break down my front door and she had not heard of this happening in our area before. Another person who lives on our property came over to speak to me about an hour later and reassured me about the bear and suggested I get an air horn, which I have ordered. The thing is, through this whole bear encounter, I kept thinking of how beautiful this bear was and I just wanted to keep looking at it and I truly didn’t care that it was on the property. I kept thinking I could never harm this beautiful bear, so have to figure out a way to live harmoniously with it here in this environment. It was absolutely magnificent when it stood on its hind legs to pull some branches down to check for blackberries on them.
I had had wild animal encounters when I had been on a 12-day white water rafting trip in Alaska and the Yukon in 1992, but then we had guides who had bear spray and rifles they could use to shoot warning shots, which they never needed to do. I saw 3 black bear, 2 grizzly , moose and elk on that trip, but felt protected being in a group of 24 with qualified outdoors guides and the bears were never closer than 500 to 1,000 yards, even though we saw signs on the trails and tree trunks and bark that they were closer than that. I definitely was in fear sleeping alone in my tent at night, but my fear then was nothing like this experience now.
What I have learned about fear that can help me in future fearful situations of any magnitude, which this one I would say was a 9 out of 10 is:
F – Feel the fear and let every emotion and physical symptom that I experience come and go, during and after the fearful situation, whether it is an hour, a day or longer. This is a process and will take as long as I choose for it to take, for me to move through it.
A – Acknowledge that this situation is really happening now and I may not be responding in a manner I know I should be, instead I am in total reactionary mode, so do not make myself wrong for however it unfolds.
C – Clarity - I will have more of this as I accept what is truth for me in the situation. After the fearful situation occurs, allow the story I tell myself to be that story and the more I replay the tapes over and over in my head about the situation, more than likely the memory of the heightened reaction of fear I had will change over time.
E – Explanations are not necessary for me to make to myself or anyone else about how I reacted to or responded in the situation unless I choose to express them. It is not for another person to decide for me if my reactions or responses were correct or not. We experience our own journey, no one else’s.
O – Owning the fact that I created this situation as part of my reality on this planet, at this time, leaves no room for error in the accountability column. I have no one or thing to blame for my fearful situation other than myself, no matter how the outer picture may look. I believe that everything that happens in my life from birth to death is my creation and no other person, place or thing is responsible for the creation of my reality, past or present. This is my truth and no one else’s. I, alone walk in my shoes!
F – Freedom – There is nothing like the feeling of my spirit soaring in a light, balanced, harmonious and free manner when I innately know that I have evolved through an experience where I have really learned what the lesson was that became apparent to me either during or after the experience. When I know I have transcended beyond a level of fear I was not aware was achievable, then truly there are no words to express the freedom my soul experiences. In this moment, I know I am very blessed.
F – Faith is the seed that all my thoughts stem from. I know intrinsically that everything is in Divine Order in my life and I believe completely that I am being guided every step of my way by Spirit and the Angels. The quote above was given to me by the Angels when I asked them to give me their message I was to hear from my fearful bear encounter experience and made a choice in that moment to have my face-off with fear.
With Love From The Light, From My Heart To Yours,
Angel Blessings, Brenda Rachel