My Experiences with Meditation

I have been doing all sorts of meditation for the last ten years but still, I am unable to comprehend the core of meditation in its entirety. Today I will try to give a glimpse of my mental models and learnings in this subject.

The English word meditation is not appropriate so I will refer to this as 'Dhyan' which is a Sanskrit word. Don't ask me to explain my experience of meditation; It is like giving a dumb person sweets to eat and then asking him to explain how was the test, and how can he explain it, even if he tries it will sound nonsense. So how can I try, I don't want to sound nonsense.

One Dhyan I do where I use the sense of me(Physical body, Mind, Manah, and Chitta) to go beyond them for a while. It's Like the existence of me without conscious or unconscious baggage of my nature, my wishes, my desires, my dislikes, and Likes, and I feel lightweight and deeply relaxed. Usually, I will fall into hyper deep REM sleep cycle after this Dhyan practice so I don't practice it during the day or outside my home. I practice it when I have less sleep and feel mentally exhausted.

The second practice I borrowed from the book 'Autobiography of a Yogi', which is to lose the sense of self by deeply focusing on Prana(breathing) while completing cycles of Kumbhaka(inhalation) and Rechaka(exhalation). This particular way of breathing mediation is called 'Kriya Yog' and doesn't go by its simplicity, this is science in itself. This makes me deeply exhausted from being accumulated me and sort of injects loads of stillness of my true Nature in me. It feels like I woke up from days of deep sleep. I have gained control of my taste buds and the urge to eat tasty food by practicing this.

The third Dhayan practice is Mirtuuhara(Death chanting), which I borrowed from Buddhist practice. Here I focus deeply on myself and the world around me as hyper momentary objects, nothing more nothing less. Every visible and invisible thing around me is moving slowly towards death and how can I be relaxed and ignorant? Everything will fade one day, me, my friends, relatives, and society. I focus so deeply that I sort of start feeling the vibration of my breath count decreasing towards death, every single second passing so fast, my mom and dad are moving towards the same, and this injects an incomprehensible sense of urgency in me, to do whatever I want now only. To experience joy, mystery, lust, and sacrifice all now only, my time is running out. This practice I do every day to break my subconscious laziness.

Fourth I do is chanting of Mantras Like Geet Govindam, and Nirvana Ashtakam among others. After chanting for 5-8 minutes I feel deeply meditative, Like I just want to be as I am without a sense of me that I have accumulated since my birth. I will go in experience less Dhayan for 40-60 minutes and after the session, I will feel stillness Like a Lake having fresh and clean water. No hidden desires, wishes, and subconscious whims, just my real self chanting the song of existence in this incomprehensible and vast universe.

There are around 60+ meditation practices I have borrowed from Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianism, Muslismism, Laoism, Taoism, Jainism, Nihilism, and Hedonism among others. But the core of all is the same; the Reason for all misery and sorrow is entanglement in the physical and borrowed me and the reason of all eternal bliss is establishment in ever-present real -self Aatman. Several philosophies can say them in different ways, but the core is always the same.

Ultimate blissful I had back in the month when I just lost the sense of my physical self and a constant stream of thought was not there, I stayed in that state for four hours because I was simply experiencing that state without me and without any experience, that was a deep neutral state. I believe when you are seeking some sort of experience then it is act not meditation, act has reason and results, meditation will not. The ultimate is when you are all the time in a meditative state and you are finding it hard to perform Life and activities instead you are in Life and trying to perform meditation.

My grandpa used to teach me that Dhyan cannot be learned, it is not addition or accumulation of knowledge, we have accumulating knowledge since childhood, and more accumulation is not needed. Meditation needs to forget what you have already learned. You cannot find something no matter how hard you try, which is never lost, you have to realize this. Peace and eternal bliss were always your true nature, in this dream of a legged human, you have forgotten that and seeking that in this physical momentary world.

Gunjan Sharma

Engineering Lead | Blockchain Enthusiast | Author

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