My Experience on the Dr. Oz Show: Intense Pressure's Role in Realizing Strength

As I sat at breakfast on October 29, 2019, I received an email about an upcoming air-date for a show about my mom's murder. The email itself was no surprise. After all, our family had agreed to participate in the filming of the show; considering its reputable network and kind producers. As almost a footnote within that email was the following note, "One more thing, we are working with the “Dr. Oz” show on them also doing a segment on Beverly and the Foundation and wonder if that is something you might be interested in doing." I replied that I was open to the opportunity, and by day's end, I was scheduled to be on the Dr. Oz Show in New York City on November 7, 2019. Nine days later.

I'd long known that these shows offer no compensation "in the name of journalism," but I requested that my wife, Kim, join me on the trip. We'd already planned our annual trip to the 2019 REALTORS? Conference & Expo (literally Real Estate's largest event, a huge investment from our non-profit (Beverly Carter Foundation), and arguably the largest platform afforded to us to make a positive difference in the safety of real estate professionals. Instead of flying directly to San Francisco for a conference critical to our nonprofit, Kim and I took a minor detour from Arkansas to New York City.

The 7:30 A.M. EST pick-up from the hotel wasn't as bad as I anticipated it to be; especially after tossing and turning all night due to nerves building and the constant honking of New York City taxis. As we greeted the driver, the pressure was beginning to mount. At the forefront of my mind was representing myself and my mom well on the show. As my mind circled on what to say and how to carry myself, I found myself so worried that I wasn't being kind enough, professional enough, or confident enough.

I'd learned that the entire episode of the Dr. Oz show was to be focused on my mom. The show would be broken into three segments, each with a very different perspective on my mom's kidnapping and murder. Segment One was to be an interview between Dr. Oz and Academy Award Nominee, Lorraine Bracco. Segment Two was to be a panel of Dr. Oz, Ms. Bracco, and Little Rock Detective Jeff Allison. Segment Three would be a one-on-one interview with me.

The seemingly glamorous perks of a dressing room, hair & make-up assistance, and the concierge-approach of the show's producers were all hard to appreciate in the moment. I knew I'd soon be led from the confines of the quiet dressing room to a stage with Dr. Oz, millions of cameras, and a live studio audience. One of the kind producers came to talk me through the process and offered the nicest compliments about my ability to narrate my family's experience. Those words were followed with "don't forget to say <these things> during your interview." Oh god. What if I go blank?

All dressing rooms were aligned down a hall, and all three of us interviewees were escorted to the show's set at the same time. Upon meeting Lorraine Bracco, she offered her condolences and the warmest embrace. I've had opportunities to meet people of fame before, but it added to pressure of the moment. Keep your composure, Carl. After navigating multiple layers of security and winding through what felt like miles of hallways through the studio, we arrived backstage of the set. There were wires, endless hanging lights, tv monitors, and a flurry of activity prepping each show participant for their upcoming role in the show.

Before the taping began, my wife Kim turned to me, obviously sensing my stress and worry, and offered her hand. I understand that she's my wife and my love, but she's taught me what it's like to have a spouse you consider your rock. Just holding her hand calms me down. In fear of getting in trouble for having a phone out, and through rising tension, I quickly snapped this selfie of us backstage.

I never suspected how much the pressure would rise as I stood backstage watching monitors of the first two segments being filmed. I was flushed with disbelief of this path my life is on, replaying the points I was asked to make during the interview, and attempting to process the first two segments so my interview would build upon them. I hadn't considered they'd show pictures of my mom, play the sound of her voice in the ransom recording, and play video footage of her killer buying a shovel from a retail store. Things went from what I thought was pressure at capacity to complete overload. I'm proud of myself for not having more of a non-verbal response to the pressure, but I found out later that producer's asked Kim how I was doing; considering my pacing along the backside of the set alone.

In what felt like a flash, the first two segments were over and my face was being blotted for my segment. "You're on, Carl. Make your mom, proud," a producer kindly whispered to me. Double doors parted and I saw my path to Dr. Oz. Stepping past cameras and over wires, I noticed a studio audience to my right and another to my left. Dr. Oz warmly welcomed me to the show with a handshake and hug. After brief re-positioning on the interview couch and a final "don't forget to say <these things> during your interview" from the producer, the countdown for the show to begin started. In the final seconds, Dr. Oz warned me that cameras would we swirling all around us and to keep my eyes on him. I'm so thankful he gave that warning.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a politician. Dr. Oz's questions didn't align perfectly with the points the producer asked me to make. The art/skill of crafting an answer on-the-spot to fulfill what was asked and other important points is no easy thing. The questions asked were largely focused on the experience of the night of my mom's disappearance, the aftermath of the bad guy further victimizing our family even while he was in jail, and the work we're doing in her name through the Beverly Carter Foundation. At the close of the interview, Kim joined us on the set for a photo with Dr. Oz. We were quickly whisked away, and as my head was still spinning, I began to talk my pressure levels down. It's all over.

In the spirit of total transparency, there are responses I gave that could have been delivered better. However, poor words choices aside, I'm proud of myself. I don't think I could have handled that type of pressure in the past. I think I represented mom well; including her character, beauty and kindness. I guess time will only tell (when the show is released), but through the pressure I think I was able to hold my composure well enough to articulate my family's journey in an authentic way. While I have a few lessons learned from the experience, I'm left with the calm assurance now that I can do this.