My experience with Covid: a lesson in emotional intelligence

One of the most important traits for a successful leader is their emotional intelligence. It is about their ability to be aware of their emotions, manage them well and handle interpersonal relationships with empathy. This has become even more relevant during the pandemic. We are separated by physical distances, we are confronted by unfamiliar situations, we have to deal with emotional instability all around us. Dealing with these require astute leadership with high levels of empathy.

I recently went through an experience which made me aware of my emotions and taught me how to deal with them, leading to positive outcomes. It further enhanced my learning of emotional intelligence and how it can help me become a better leader.

On Oct 20th I came down with fever and body ache. There was mild panic in the household. Is it Covid? Or something else? Should I isolate? Should I get tested? I consulted my doctor who suggested that I isolate and then get tested after a couple of days. The symptoms continued for the next couple of days and I tested positive on Oct 23rd. My wife then tested positive on Oct 25th and luckily the others at home tested negative.

Thus began my 14 days of room quarantine and 21 days of home quarantine.

During the past few weeks, many friends messaged / called to ask how I was doing. The answer to that was mostly in the physical domain- I had mild fever, some body ache, a bad throat and so on. A couple of them wanted to know how I was “feeling”. That prompted me to think about the emotions that I went through during this period. I realised that I was going through a multitude of emotions and it was all about becoming aware of them and managing them.

There were many negative emotions- anxiety, frustration, disappointment and annoyance. There were equally several positive feelings- acceptance, adaptability, thoughtfulness and gratitude. They come and go in waves. I learnt that it was important to acknowledge them, embrace them and deal with them.  

Anxiety: It started with apprehension and uncertainty- is it Covid, or dengue or typhoid? Once it was confirmed that it was Covid, then came other questions- how did I get it, how will it impact me, how long will it last, will the symptoms worsen and so on. One way to deal with the anxiety was to build my awareness, I read up on it online, spoke to some Covid veterans, regularly consulted with my doctor and gathered all relevant information.

Acceptance: The anxiety was followed by a sense of frustration- I maintain a fairly healthy lifestyle, followed a good exercise routine, took adequate precautions- yet I got it- and that was frustrating. This slowly gave way to a sense of acceptance- I have tested positive, and I just need to get through it in the best possible manner. This phase was all about getting advice on how to deal with it- the do’s and the don’ts.

Adaptability: Acceptance of the situation leads to adaptability. Charles Darwin said “The most important factor in survival is neither intelligence nor strength, it is adaptability”. Under normal circumstances, I could not imagine that I would be able to stay by myself within the confines of my room for almost 2 weeks. However when I realised that I have to, I found ways of adapting to the new reality. I created a routine- sleep in late, breakfast, read the papers, relax, chat with friends, lunch, nap, tea, walk, catch some TV, dinner and sleep- it wasn’t bad at all!! Note: In case you are wondering, work doesn’t feature in this routine because of doctor’s orders!

Disappointment: This is that time of the year when the “taash sessions” are on. It is one of those things that I enjoy during Diwali and I was feeling bad on missing out on them. I was also missing my morning yoga classes and evening walks. There was a general feeling of fatigue due to which I stayed away from doing yoga. However I did start my evening walks in my room- it was only 15 steps one way- so I would walk up and down for several rounds!!

Introspection: After the initial feelings of anxiety, acceptance and disappointment, I decided to get on with it. It was what it was and I needed to find ways to deal with it. I suddenly realised that I had a lot of time in my hand and not too much of external stimulus. This helped me introspect and reflect upon things which I normally don’t think about. I started reading more, watched some interesting stuff on OTT, and I connected with myself at a deeper level.

Annoyance: As I neared the end of the quarantine period, I started checking on the guidelines for the quarantine period and I was getting different inputs. Some said it was 14 days from testing, some said 17 days, others said you could get out if you test negative the next time and so on. It also seemed to vary by the locality. This was really annoying due to the lack of clarity and uniformity of the release guidelines.

Gratitude: One feeling that was there throughout the period was a deep sense of gratitude. I was grateful that my daughter, mother-in-law and our help didn’t get it. I was grateful that it was a mild version and we got through it without too much of discomfort. I was grateful to my friends and family who checked in on me regularly, sent over food and messages to cheer me up. It really helped tide over the isolation period.

As I get out of quarantine, I have now become part of the statistic of “recovered cases” and I am thankful for that. I have started giving advice to my some of my friends who recently tested positive- from a position of “been there, done that”. This experience has helped me discover things about myself and made me a wiser and stronger leader- it has truly strengthened my emotional intelligence.