My evolution as a freelancer - during a global pandemic

I started my solo adventure earlier this year, when I left 18 years of corporate life behind. I explained why I did that, in this post here. I had very little idea of what was to come. 

The plans I had made were in complete disarray. Covid-19 had struck a blow to them, the likes of which I could not have anticipated.

Here's how I have evolved since then. 

Stage 1 - Denial

When I started in April'20, Covid-19 had already hit us. It was looking bad, but I said to myself that I'll wait it out.

How bad could it be? Surely a few weeks would sort this out?

Those few weeks passed by very quickly. And nothing had changed. All my plans were still on hold. Nothing was moving. This was going to take some time. I was on my own, stuck inside, and there was nothing happening.

I needed to create something for myself.

Stage 2 - A new(ish) normal

The Shawshank Redemption is one of my all time favourite movies. For many it's a classic because of its promise of hope, and of good things to come. For me, it's because of Andy Dufresne's insistence that we should-

"Get busy living, or get busy dying." 

I decided to get intentional with my time and start doing what I could. 

So I created a daily schedule that included -

• Spending time with family
• Reading - I re-read my all time favourite book on work - David Whyte's Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity. Again and Again.
• Exercising - I discovered a love of YouTube yoga! Thank you Yoga with Kassandra
• Resting and refreshing - getting 8 hours (at least) of good sleep

Yes. This made me feel better. No question about that. 

But what about my work? What did I need to do to get that going?

Stage 3 - Learning to be out there, virtually

I realized that waiting it out wasn't an option, and I couldn't network the way I knew how to. I had to do something. I wasn't going to get new clients by being invisible. And there was no possibility of doing any of the traditional networking that I had planned.

I did a LinkedIn course, and learnt a lot about how to use it. I had known so little!

I started posting on LinkedIn. I started with a lot of fear, anxiety and stress.

What was I going to write about? What if people didn't like it? Would I be able to keep it going?

But I did it. I showed myself. And I will never forget the first time a stranger commented on my post. Wow. So that's how networking worked in the online world!

And guess what? Things happened.

Stage 4 - My first clients

When you are an employee in an organization, you don't advertise yourself so much. Your work speaks for itself. When you are on your own, you need to talk about your work, and what you offer to the world. And we are lucky to live in a time where platforms like LinkedIn makes it so easy to do.

Thanks to my showing myself and talking about my interests, I got my first direct clients. I cannot tell you how happy I was to sign my first contract, deliver the work and get paid.

This was it. I was in business.

I was encouraged. I became bolder.

Stage 5 - Experiments

Work wasn't exactly pouring in, so I started experimenting with many other things -

• LinkedIn - I posted on behavioural science ideas. Behaviour Bubbles I called them. Some of them were quite good, if I may so myself :-)
• Webinars - I helped run the Money Smart Seniors series for SilverTalkies. What an amazing experience this was.
• Podcast - I started The Behaviour Project, and welcomed my first guests to talk about human behaviour at work. A LOT of work to do, but super satisfying. 
• Career coaching - I started career coaching mid-career professionals and absolutely loved it.
• Stock trading - I started small and made a little money, but I am just glad I haven't lost any yet!
• Writing - I started my book. Yes. Finally.

And you know what happens with experiments?

Not all of them work out.

Stage 6 - Retreat! Retreat!

I had absolutely no idea about the effect that lockdown and this new freelance work/life would have on me. I had never really been on social media( if you count Whatsapp out), and it overwhelmed me. I thought it would replace the lack of real, physical company, and it did in some way. But it also brought other things that I wasn't prepared for.

The anxiety. The pressure. Toxic positivity(yes it's a real thing!).

When I starting waking up at 4am to check my feed, I knew there was a problem.

I was exhausted, and this spread into all I was doing. My work started slowing down. My podcast. My writing. Anything that wasn't up against a deadline suffered.

I needed to reset.

Stage 7 - Focus

I shut myself off for a while. To focus. To pivot.

After lockdown lifted I started making time away from my computer, phone and books. I started getting out more; on rides/drives, long walks, and finally meeting people over socially distanced coffees.

I took a break from my desk, to come back anew. And I made the following decisions -

• Concentrate on 3 areas at work - career coaching, training and consulting
• Postpone my plan to do a Masters at the LSE, until it's clear when a completely in-person class is possible
• Design a plan for being active on social media, and stick to it

I felt so much better, but something was still missing. There was one thing I needed to do... 

Stage 8 - Revealing myself online

I needed to feel truly okay with myself online. I did not want to be overwhelmed by social media again. And so, I decided to take Henry Ford's advice -

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.

I decided to create my own website. On it, I wanted to express myself exactly the way I wanted, and to showcase what I offered to the world. 

Well to cut through the chase, it's done - www.shyamsadasivan.com is now live.

I am entering 2021 with something I've never had before - my own website!

And I feel so light.

I feel like I'm finally ready for the big, bad, online world.

What next?

My professional time will focus on these three areas -

1. Career Coaching - helping clients 1-on-1 with their career growth
2. Training - virtual training and facilitation
3. Consulting - behavioural change projects

I feel SO privileged to have clients across all three areas right now. I couldn't have imagined this, even as recently as a couple of months ago.

I will be active on LinkedIn, and I will ration my time and energy for it. I will post, comment and interact with others as part of what I do. I will ensure it doesn't eat into all the other things I need to do, and I will pause whenever I feel the anxiety hitting me again.

So ....

It's been a tough 6 months, but I am in a good place. I am not one to compare, but in the context of the kind of year it's been, I feel fortunate considering the plight of so many others.

I feel positive about 2021. And that has nothing to do with what's happening in the world.

It has everything to do with me. And maybe a bit with Nietzche, who said -

“What does not kill me makes me stronger.”

I'm here. I'm alive. And I'm stronger. I can handle next year.

I hope you can too.

Cheers!

Shyam

www.shyamsadasivan.com

( Am so kicked to be using my own URL to sign off ! )