My Evil Digital Twin
Greg Larkin
I’m the CEO of Punks & Pinstripes, a community for business punks. I'm also a speaker and advisor | ex-Bloomberg, Google, PWC | Dad, Husband, Punk. I aspire to be the Anthony Bourdain of business, but happier.
For the past two weeks I have started to write the following articles about 16 times, only to throw them away
“ESG Brought This Crisis On Itself”
“How To Get Over A Business Divorce”
“Who’s Winning The War For AI Talent?”
For every sentence I write I delete two. I forced myself to write them by hand in a notebook so that I could only cross out the parts I didn’t like without deleting them. Only to crumple the pages up and throw them away.?
I’m caught in the grip of the worst writer’s block I’ve ever endured.?
As I start to write my evil twin climbs out of his cage and sits on my shoulder so he can whisper in my ear like the obnoxious piece of $hit that he is. “Greg, no one cares. Greg, you have nothing to say about this that hasn’t already been said. Greg, you’re overthinking it. Greg, you’re being too simplistic. Delete that sentence. Delete the whole document.”
Then he stands up and starts pounding his little fists against my head while he screams, “YOU SUCK AT THIS! STOP! THERE”S NO F***ING POINT!”
At this point I abandon my attempt to write, if only to get my evil alter ego to shut up and go back into his cage.
I seek inspiration from my LinkedIn feed. Interrupted by trips to MIT Tech Review, HBR, The Atlantic, The Information, The NY Times, Wired, and The Financial Times. These trips only make me feel worse. “How the f*** did that get published?!” I say to myself when I read something that’s not as good as what I can write. Or when I read something that’s smart and well-written I say “See? That’s why I shouldn’t bother writing. I could never be that good.”?By then the whole day has passed without me doing a single thing of value.
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"Analysis paralysis" is, I believe, the official description of what this is. Whatever it's called, it sucks.
I want to blame social media. Like somehow LinkedIn and Instagram make me compare myself to everyone else in ways that are unhealthy. But I’ve always had bouts of this, way before social media was a thing.
I think what I’m trying to say is this: It’s excruciating to feel like you can’t access your own talent and ability. That feeling of knowing you can do better than you’re doing is brutal.?It feeds on itself, and generates its own paralyzing energy.
If nothing else, one of my strengths is that I’m authentic. Authenticity is the only way I know how to get unstuck.
So, I hope that this honest article about writer's block somehow loosens the grip of writer’s block. I hope it reaches someone who feels the same thing and helps them feel less shitty.
That’s all I got for now. Soon, God willing, there will be a stream of awesome insights from me and other people I love and admire about driving progress, leading innovation, and overcoming obstructionism.?
Thanks for being patient.
Y’all are my heroes,
Greg
Greg. When that happens I go outside my usual sources. Flip your knowledge stack. Here is anpartiall LLC t of mine https://lnkd.in/es7ehG3X
International Retail and Sales Leader | Former Lidl SVP Operations
1 年Come on Greg Larkin you can do this! Even with a writer's block you are still more entertaining, more insightful and more real than many other writers out there. Keep going and publish. There is enough of us here that even want to read your shit;-)
As a software developer specializing in AI and game development, with a finance background, I'm focused on developing innovative tools to integrate these sectors.
1 年I am not even sure if it's my evil twin, or if I am this obsessed with higher success. What I am sure about, your writings touch deeply. ??
Passionate about reimagining the fight against financial crime with outside-the-box tech & thoughtfully innovative strategy.
1 年For what it's worth, I've noticed my creative blocks are typically tied to when insecurity rears its gnarly head in another part of my life. In my younger years, I would beat myself up with my inner critic, but kudos to you for expressing that voice to diminish its power; sometimes naming our monsters can be empowering. When I'm feeling this vibe, I have started intentionally leaning into activities, discussions, events, and projects that feed whatever part of my ego/psyche that is feeling undernourished and running amok so I can begin to regain my power (seated consciousness). My go to is to book a spa session that forces me somewhat to a meditative state -- deep tissue massage, accupuncture, sound bath, or just go get lost in nature and focus on the sounds of the Earth. Something about that allows me to take all the jumbled of triggers causing me to subconsciously lose my footing and find focus needed to reflect inward to find the root cause of my internal critic/conflict. Once I'm able to identify or 'name my monster,' I feel more equipped to build a remediation plan. Just know that high functioning creatives typically struggle with these exact feelings. So until you arrive at the clarity yourself--you're a ROCKSTAR.