My End of the Year Thoughts

Dear friends and family,

I can’t believe I am wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Wasn’t it just yesterday that the Lord graciously ushered in 2024? I need just to make it through one more week, and then I can slow down, pause, and truly reflect on all that He has done in our lives this year.

Our family has had a host of new experiences, all divinely appointed but some filled with heartbreaking challenges. The older I get, the more intimately I know my need for a Savior.

Our children still fill a large chunk of my time, although they are no longer the stair-step toddlers we birthed. My two remaining children from my first marriage are grown and attempting to help them navigate their lives creates challenges. Our Max turned 18 this year. Going through this stage of life again; seeing life through the life of a curious young man, arouses such a myriad of emotional daddy moments. Do you remember when you were 18? There is so much potential and many admirable leadership qualities, yet 18-year-olds genuinely believe they are “so wise in their own eyes.”

As a father, I continue to grow and learn more about myself than I care to know. Often, though, I realize I am just a mess – a mess that is fully loved and accepted by a Savior who calls me to this most sacred occupation. I want to love my children and that incredible wife of mine like God loves me and continually pursue their heart. I want no regrets, yet often I am just exhausted. One child told me, “Dad, you care too much. Other parents don’t ask these kinds of questions.”

As we engaged in this heart-to-heart dialogue surrounding tough issues, I shared that as I stand before the Lord, if He states that my worst mistake was caring too much about the core character and heart attitude of our children, then I’ll take it, but I doubt it will happen. Child rearing calls for such a delicate balance – that giving of freedom, while nurturing, correcting, and disciplining. Even with our adult children, I pray incessantly that the Lord will reveal to him/her who s/he is in Christ. My older son is OK – obedient, hard-working, and responsible, yet I fear there’s a tendency towards self-induced perfectionism. I want him to know His freedom. My daughter has her challenges. Time may or may not fix her. My desire is for all of them to understand the precious face of grace and the full life of abundance that He offers.

This year has been tumultuous. I am still personally struggling with the death of 2 of my children and multiple long-term friends. In addition, we celebrated marriages, business growth, and the sale of my business, causing me to answer to superiors for the first time in 45 years, and along the way finding a type of inner peace that I didn’t know existed.

We are so grateful we have careers we love and are doubly blessed as I attempt to navigate the waters of a huge family and now work colleagues scattered around the country instead of being here locally. I still struggle to balance work, business networking, life, free time, managing Max at college (did I mention I love having a more intelligent teenager than EVERYONE), food shopping, and most importantly, time with Christine, not to mention cultivating friendships. Sometimes, I feel as if I am not doing any of them well, but I am grateful for the people in my life who keep me rooted. My Unicorn works long hours, and I do the same, so our date nights have been far between. Our marriage is solid, and our communication is good, but we know that we cannot forsake prioritizing our time together, which we have done too much of this year. I marvel at her unconditional love for me. She treasures me and doesn’t even care that I am a bit crankier than I should be.

We continue getting Max involved and making him aware of the world around him. Many not-for-profits can’t or won’t have children volunteers. It is a challenge. As such, I sit him down often and point out things that are obvious to us as adults and am attempting to explain empathy as well as sympathy for others.

Well, that kind of sums up our 2024 in a nutshell. Besides Lola, the dog, we have now escaped Max’s travel soccer, school track, after-school tutoring, Max’s job, his girlfriend, going to the gym every night, etc., which allows us to be unpaid Uber drivers no longer. My golf, work, extended family time, and the continual bedlam moments that our family shares—it’s been quite uneventful.

So, as I pause amidst my “uneventful” bedlam moments, I really want to remember Christ in the everyday wonder of this Christmas season.

I remember Him when precious prayers stir my heart from the innocence of our youngest.? I remember Him when tinkering around the house and gratitude stirs for the dishwasher that eased my workload. I remember Him as I stubbed my toe, lose my patience, and recall this agony as nothing.

I remember Him for the sacrifice of what this season cost.

Merry Christmas, from our home to yours,

Ron (just a messy Child of God trying to balance beauty and bedlam in his chaotic world.